


RELAPSE - Arthur Fleck | Joker FANFIC/LOVE STORY

by Amytron30



Category: Joker (2019)
Genre: Clowns, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Joker2019 - Freeform, Mental Health Issues, Relapsing, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:42:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 89,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24648922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amytron30/pseuds/Amytron30
Summary: A story about a girl, who struggles to live by the rules of a society that doesn't care about people like her. A series of events lead her to an unexpected relationship with a man that is going through his own struggles...and rebirth. As a result, she finds herself in situation that changes who she is forever.
Relationships: Arthur Fleck/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 14





	1. Anonymous

**Author's Note:**

> This is an 'already completed story' that I wanted to share on this platform (it was originally posted on Wattpad). I will be uploading all remaining chapters shortly. And it was my first ever story...so...it may start off a little 'eh', but I feel that it does improve throughout the story's progression.
> 
> This story does contain mature content. Bad language, some drug use, suggestive themes, violence, abuse, some fluff and smut.
> 
> This story is a Joaquin Phoenix Joker fanfic and it does tie in with the movie a lot; however, it does not follow the movie exactly. I have taken a few liberties on events and the progression of some events. Basically, this story is mostly my original writing, but I did bring in major pieces from the movie because I love the movie so freaking much and it helped drive the story forward. So, just be aware of that as you read.
> 
> I am also currently working on a sequel of this story and I will eventually be posting it on this platform as well.

"So, Lenora, tell me a little bit about yourself." 

I rolled my eyes at the middle-aged, African-American woman that sat across from me. She looked somewhat stern, but she had a gentle voice. However, her gentle voice didn't change the fact that I was angry about what she just said. "Don't call me that."

She wrote something in the notepad she had sitting on the desk in front of her. Not that such a thing was abnormal to me; I dealt with a lot of counselors and their notepads. "What should I call you then?"

"Anon," I paused, but I knew that she would soon be asking about the name, so I decided to beat her to it, "like, Anonymous. I'm unknown, unacknowledged. I am unremarkable."

"Well, that is something we can start with. Why do you feel like you are anon...," her voice began to fade as she asked the question. 

It was a question I have been asked many times and, quite frankly, I was tired of repeating myself. I noticed the ticking of the clock that was on the wall behind the counselor. I poured all of my attention into the old analog clock, that had so much dust caked on its face that it was hard to read what time it was. But that was okay, I closed my eyes and just listened to the ticks. 

Tick, tick tick, tick. 

I stopped my breathing just so it wouldn't interrupt the ticking. I drifted into brief meditative state and I let my thoughts move through me. I imagined my thoughts as a train: entering one ear, traveling through the tunnel that was my brain and then exiting out of the other ear. Shitty parents. Abusive ex-boyfriend. Drugs. Well, the last thought didn't so much pass through like the others, it lingered. I pressed my eyes tighter together, as if that would force the thought to leave. I pressed them so tightly that I began to see colored spots in the darkness. My head began to ache.

"Lenora... Len-...Anon!" the counselor yelled, pulling my attention back to her. "You have got to talk to me. You know that part of your probation is being here every week and participating. Making some kind of progress."

I looked at her for a moment and then slumped over so my elbows were on my knees and my face was buried in my hands. "I know," I muffled a response, "I-I'm sorry. I'm just not feeling very well."

The counselor leaned back in her chair. I could sense that her patience was already running thin and the appointment couldn't have started more than 10 minutes ago, "Have you received any treatment yet?"

I shook my head as I looked up at her. "The treatment center told me that they are waiting on more medication to be delivered - people keep breaking into the place and stealing everything they can. No one has received treatment in a few days. They told me to check in every day. Nothing so far. They don't understand that making my way there every day, for nothing, is making things harder for me. I have to see my probation officer, attend counseling, and find a job all while I am fighting these terrible urges. I don't have money for the subway, so I have to walk everywhere."

"I'm sure they will get it soon and everything will get easier." She stood up from her seat, walked directly to her right to a tall cabinet that was against the wall. She unlocked the top drawer and pulled out a small envelope. She closed and locked the top drawer before she bent down to the very bottom drawer and opened it up to pull out a notepad. She left the bottom drawer open and returned to her desk. She set the notepad and the envelope down on her desk and pushed it towards me. She tapped the notepad with her finger before she removed her hand completely, "This will be your journal. I want you to write in it every day. You can write about anything you want. You can write about your day, your thoughts, your feelings...anything. But, it needs to be every day and you need to bring this with you every week. We are going to talk about the things you write in your journal. This will help us get somewhere. In the envelope is a subway pass, but it doesn't have much on it, so only use it for your appointments related to your probation. Now, we will go ahead and end the appointment here for today, but next week...we are going to stay the whole time...no cutting out early."

A small smile formed on my face. Well, she kind of ignored all of my other concerns, but the subway pass will help, I thought to myself, trying to be positive. I got out of my seat, grabbed the notepad and envelope in one hand, and walked out of the room. After exiting the room, I walked down a poorly lit hallway towards the "lobby" sign. As I walked into the lobby, the strong scent of mildew hit my nose. I forgot that I had struggled to breathe earlier when I was waiting in the lobby for my appointment to begin. Why was everything so shitty here in Gotham? My walk turned into speed walking as I made my way to the exit. However, as my hand gripped the door handle and I was about to pull it open, someone grabbed my other arm that held the notepad and envelope. 

I jerked my arm away and spun around so that I was facing whoever was grabbing me, "Hey, what do you think you are doing?!"

As I looked at the man that was now in front me, he quickly pulled his body away from me, as if he was expecting me to throw a punch, and slightly raised up a hand in surrender. My brows knitted together as I looked at him for a moment. He was somewhere in his mid-to-late thirties. He had brown hair that was brushed back and pulled behind his ears so that the curled ends bunched together behind his neck about an inch or so from his shoulders. The next feature that really stuck out was what appeared to be a vertical scar between his nose and mouth.

He was nervously moving his eyes from me, to the floor and then back to me as he spoke, "I am s-sorry, ma'am, I didn't mean to scare you. I tried to get your attention, but since I don't know your name...," he moved his hand, that was already slightly raised, to his throat and he seemed to try and clear his throat a few times before he could continue his words, "...you dropped this." He brought up his other hand that was holding a small envelope and held it out towards me. His hand was shaking a little bit as he held it there.

I looked down at my hand that was holding the notepad and saw that the small envelope was not there, "Oh, I see. I am so sorry. I am just really on edge right now," I took the envelope from his hand gently, "thank you. Sorry." 

Feeling my cheeks turn warm, I quickly turned and left before the man could say anything else. As I walked out onto the streets of Gotham, I could hear the faint sound of laughter coming from behind me. Is that guy laughing at me? What's so funny? Even though the questions crossed my mind, I just pushed them away. It was doubtful that I would see him again anyways.

I made it back to the motel room I was staying at, which was only a few blocks from the counselor's office that I just left from. My probation officer was able to get me a room there for a few days while I figured out where I was going to live. I didn't have a lot of friends, at least law-abiding friends, so I thought that this process was going to be difficult. Thankfully, I just happened to stumble across an old classmate a couple of days ago. It was amazing that she even recognized me. Both of us were best of friends in middle school, but drifted apart once we started high school. She stayed serious about her studies, while I got myself tangled in with a bunch of troublemakers, one of which was my ex-boyfriend: Todd. He was a typical bad boy and I fell for him, hard. After I got involved with him, pretty much everything went downhill. I didn't finish school because I did nothing but eat, sleep and party. At first, it was just the thrill of drinking a bunch of alcohol and getting drunk. I felt so free when I was drunk because all of my anxiety went away and I could be me without worrying about what everyone else was thinking. Then, my boyfriend eventually talked me into trying drugs and...

I physically shook my head to dislodge my thoughts. I rewinded my thoughts back to my friend. We stumbled into each other, caught up a little bit, and somehow that lead to her offering a place for me to stay. At first I was a little mortified because it had been so many years since I have really spoken to her - we were 14 when we entered high school and now we were both 21...that means we haven't had contact in almost 7 years - and, here she is, helping me out in such a huge way. I started to turn down her offer because I didn't want her pity; however, she said that she was going through a bit of a tough time as well and would actually love to have some company. In the end, I accepted her offer, but I promised her that I would pay her back somehow.

I was going to move in tomorrow. Thinking about it made me smile. I touched my fingers to my lips, savoring the feeling that was going through me because I actually felt happy. Something was actually going right. I decided that this is what I would write about in my journal for today.


	2. The Clown

I woke up the next morning around 8am. It was really hard to get up. My stomach was in knots and my head was throbbing with pain, but I had to go by the treatment center.

Not having a lot of possessions definitely helped in this situation. Everything I had fit in the my dark purple backpack. The backpack was decorated with permanent marker doodles that I have drawn through the years. The majority of my life consisted of moving around...so the backpack was worn from the years of use. It was probably time to throw it away and get a new one, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. This bag has always carried my most important possessions and I could maneuver my hands blindly through it and grab anything I needed. Getting a new bag would just ruin that. 

I looked down at the smallest pocket that was on the bottom, front of the bag. The original fabric that was tied onto the zipper broke a long time ago. In its place, Todd had tied a zip tie to it...making it easier to grab the zipper. I grabbed the zipper and drug it across, unzipping the pocket. Once I opened the pocket completely, I withdrew my hand away and paused for a long minute. I took a breath and reached in quickly. My fingers moved around inside the pocket, trying to locate the items I typically kept in this specific pocket...drugs. Usually, heroin. That was my drug of choice, but it really didn't matter in the end, just as long as I got high. Nope, nothing was there. I stopped moving my fingers and I let out a huge sigh. I wasn't sure if the sigh was for relief or frustration. Both...it was both.

I forced myself to zip the pocket closed. I shouldn't be looking for drugs in my backpack, but they would definitely help with my withdraw symptoms right now. I stood up and slung the bag over my back, sticking my arms into the straps as I did. I looked around to make sure I didn't leave anything behind and then went outside. I left my motel key with the motel manager and then made my way to the subway. I didn't use the subway a lot, so it took me a minute to figure out where to go.

Once I did figure it out, it didn't take too long for me to get to the treatment center. It stuck out quite a bit because the building was so new looking, compared to the rest of the block. But, of course, Gotham would need more treatment centers to meet the demands of all the druggies that lived in this area. There were a few rough looking people loitering in front of the building, but I wasn't afraid. I was use to being around these people. I was one of them.

I walked in and automatically went to the lady at the check-in desk. She was glum, as always, but at least she had good news today, "We received our order late last night. Check in and the nurse will get your medicine to you."

I was surprised and actually wondered if the counselor knew that the treatment center was getting the medicine in. I signed my name on some paperwork that she handed me and then sat down in the little waiting area they had next to the check-in desk. I sat there, bouncing my right leg up and down. It was a nervous thing that I always did. It was really just habit now. I looked around the plain room that had motivational posters scattered around on the walls. I rolled my eyes. If only it was that easy to change my life...just by reading words on a poster.

Before I could get too lost in my thoughts, a nurse walked up with two paper cups. One had water and the other had methadone pills. I took the pills first and then the water, handing the cups back to the nurse once I was done. "Open your mouth," she demanded rudely. I wanted to be difficult, but I just decided to do what she said. She looked around inside my mouth to make sure the pills were no where to be seen. 

Once she was satisfied, she stiffly said, "Your doctor wants you to come in every other day. Today is Wednesday, so you need to come in on Friday for your next dose. Don't miss a dose-"

"It is part of my probation," I interrupted. 

She doesn't know me, so of course she thinks this is my first rodeo. And with that, she sharply turned around and left. 

Okay, so "To Do List Item #1" complete, time for the next thing, I thought to myself. While my friend's apartment was still quite far away from my current location, I decided just to walk the streets instead of taking the subway.

I slowly left the bleak area that surrounded the treatment center and made my way to an area that was bustling with people. There were tons of shops and street vendors here and I could hear all of the shop and vendor owners yelling out for attention, "Best gyros sold here!" "Buy our custom-made picture frames, 2-for-1 today only!" And it just kept getting busier and louder each block.

While my withdraw symptoms were subsiding, there were so many people around me and I quickly felt myself getting a little claustrophobic. My heart started to beat against my chest and my breathing quickened. I decided to use a grounding technique that I learned at rehab a long time ago...I decided that I would count all of the people that were wearing hats. So I looked around the crowd and started counting. 1...2...3...4... I continued this until I saw puffs of bright green bobbing around among the crowd. What was that?

I kept walking and looking until I came close enough to see it. It was a man, dressed as a clown with bright green hair. He was flipping around a sign which was referencing the store that was having a "going out of business" sale. I noticed that this was happening to a lot of stores around here. Gotham was slowly being choked by the poor economy. It was dying. My walking slowed to a stop once I was just a few feet from him. I watched him flip the sign and dance around. He had a huge smile plastered on his face; even me standing there watching him point-blank didn't interrupt his show. 

I knew if I was in his shoes, I would be embarrassed to dance in front of all these people. Not that they REALLY paid attention. Everyone was walking around him, basically trying to avoid him like he had the plague or something. It was kind of sad when I thought about it, so I decided to stand there for a few minutes and watch. It seemed like he eventually took notice that I was intent on watching him, so he put the sign down on the ground, propping it against his legs so that the wording on the sign was still visible to the crowd, and started doing a few silly tricks and gags with some props he had stuffed in his pockets. I couldn't help but smile and laugh, to show him that I was entertained; even though it was a little awkward that this was happening right in the middle of a busy sidewalk. 

People started to stare at us with disapproving faces as they passed. After he concluded his little show, he placed one arm on his stomach, threw the other one out to the air and he bowed dramatically. Of course I clapped for him and pretended to throw flowers on the "stage". He grabbed one of my imaginary flowers from the ground and sniffed it sweetly; it made my heart skip a beat.

I felt a bit of guilt quite suddenly. "I wish I could give you an actual tip instead of imaginary flowers, but I don't have anything. I'm so sorry."

The clown took the sign back up into his hands and stood up normally, "It's, uh, okay. I made you laugh. That's all that matters." 

He grinned, which was only exaggerated by his painted smile, and I couldn't help but feel better. We both stood there, kind of looking at each other, but also looking around nervously. Soon it got a little awkward. I finally thanked him for the show and started back on my journey. 

As I passed him, he shyly said, "S-see you soon." 

I almost stopped walking, but forced myself to continue; not acknowledging him and his words. 'See you soon?' Where? How? What did he mean by that? These thoughts raced through my mind as I felt his stare linger as I walked away. 

After I walked a bit away from him, I suddenly heard a commotion from behind, like something hitting the ground and then someone yelling. I turned around to see, but there were still so many people walking around, it was hard to get a good sense of what was going on. However, I noticed that the bright green hair was no longer bobbing around in the crowd.

***

I pulled out the piece of paper that my friend wrote her address on. I had it memorized, but when I walked up to the building, I was sure it had to be wrong; it was horrible. A lot of stuff was horrible in Gotham, but this building was bad. It was quite a few stories tall and most of the windows were covered in bars. Graffiti covered almost every inch...it was hard to tell what the original color of the building was. The bricks that made the building were cracking everywhere; it was a miracle it was still standing. Nope, the address was right. This was it. 

I took a deep breath and made my way into the building. It was a very simple apartment building; not much to look at so I didn't stop to look around much. I went straight for the stairs so I could get to my friend's apartment as soon as possible. This place was kind of freaking me out. Once I was on the right floor, I began to look for her door number. It was so dark that I really had to look at each door closely to see the number. I passed a lot of doors before I finally made it to the right one. At least, I really hoped it was her apartment. I was still doubting the address because I really didn't imagine her living in a place like this. 

Plus, I was just one of those people that thought about the worse case scenario. What if this was the wrong apartment number and some man answered and when I tried to walk away he would just grab me up and pull me into his apartment. Then I would be held hostage in his apartment for 10 years...no one knowing because I didn't really have anyone that would worry about me enough to come looking for me. I sighed at my anxiety and quickly knocked on the door to get it over with.

I heard locks come undone and the doorknob turned. I smiled once the door opened to reveal the lovely face of my friend....Sophie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry... I know, not a lot of Arthur so far, but the next chapter will be the start of a lot more Arthur-interactions. :)


	3. Arthur

Sophie and I spent a few hours talking and catching up more than we were able to the last time we spoke. I told her about what lead me to being arrested for drugs, again, and how I was randomly sponsored by someone which enabled me to enter a very legit rehabilitation program so I could get clean and suffer through a year or two of probation instead of spending some serious time in jail. 

I never found out who sponsored me, but whoever it was - I wish I could thank him or her. I have been to rehab before, a few times, but nothing stuck. However, this last rehab was definitely in a different league than the others and I felt like I actually did get some help this time. Typically I would be back on drugs as soon as I left rehab, but here I am, 6 days out of rehab, on my own, and I was still sober. Sure, 6 days isn't a lot, but for me it really was a miracle.

Sophie told me that she was working at a bank. She worked with a lot of assholes and she still struggled to support herself and her daughter; that is why she was living in this dump. Sadly, she didn't have many options. Even though she had her Associate's Degree, there was a major shortage in jobs. Even when there were jobs open, qualifications were usually looked over and it really came down to "who you knew". She didn't have a relationship with any of Gotham's rich and famous, so she was looked over a lot. Sometimes, she just wanted to give up, but she was a single mother...she couldn't give up. Sophie's relationship with her daughter's dad fell apart a few years ago, but she seemed unwilling to go into much detail about that. 

Sophie changed the subject by gently running her fingers through my long blonde hair, "I remember how you always kept your hair dyed crazy colors like pink, purple, green."

"Yeah, I do miss having the crazy colors. I will probably do something with my hair once I get some money coming in, " I said as I reached up to touch my hair. 

There were a few minutes of silence. "Lenora...I mean, Anon," Sophie gave me an apologetic face, "Anon, I really do miss this." She waved her hand between us, motioning that she was talking about our friendship. 

It was crazy that, after all of these years, we could basically pick up from where we left off and get along so well. There was barely any awkwardness. I mean, there was a little bit when some topics were brought up, but it wasn't enough to make things feel weird. It felt nice to actually have this kind of relationship again, one that didn't revolve around drugs.

We talked about a few more random things until Sophie said that she had to run some errands. She took her daughter with her, even though I offered to watch her. 

After they were gone, I decided it would probably be best to start looking for jobs in the newspaper. I couldn't leech off of Sophie for long. I took some change that was sitting on the table, making a mental note to make sure and tell her that I took it. It was for a good cause, so I hoped she wouldn't mind. Plus, I definitely planned on paying her back soon. 

I left her apartment and made my way down the hallway. My plan was to walk outside to a nearby newspaper vending machine, but I heard some terribly loud sobs coming from a room I passed by. I stopped, walked back to the room I heard the sobs coming from, and placed my ear close to the door. I didn't even give myself time to think about what I was doing before I knocked on the door. 

"Happy, is that you," a weak voice cried from the room, "what are you doing?! Come in here, you had me worrying!"

I decided just to open the door and, when I did, I saw an older woman sitting on the floor against the wall between the little living room and the kitchen. She looked very frail overall, her hair was a mess, and her eyes were bloodshot. Her face took on a shocked expression as she watched me, some random person, walk in. 

I quickly explained myself, "I'm a neighbor. I heard you crying. Are you okay? Can you get up?" I walked closer to her and reached out my hands so that she could grab them. She didn't move. "Let me help you up. After I know you are okay, I can help you locate...who were you calling for?"

Her shocked expression twisted into sadness and she began to sob again. Between her sobs she slowly said, "Happy. My son. He never came home for lunch. Where is he? I think something bad happened."

I kneeled down beside her, as it seemed she was not going to take my hands. I decided to just sit with her and give her some company while she cried. 

***

A few hours later I finally made it back to Sophie's apartment. Her and her daughter were still gone. Damn, I forgot the newspaper, I thought to myself and I put the change back on the table. Oh well, I was too exhausted now. 

I spent the last few hours getting that crying lady to trust me and let me help her. It didn't take too long, but after I finally got her off of the floor, I still didn't want to leave her alone until she was in a stable emotional state. Her name was Penny and her son, Happy is what she called him, took care of her. She said that he usually came home to make them lunch, but he didn't on this day. I asked her if she had eaten and she said she hadn't, so I made her some food. They had a bunch of frozen meals, so it wasn't a big deal. Once she ate, she seemed to be doing better. Of course, she was still worried about her son. I told her that I would check on her later tonight to see if he came home or not. If not, I would help her call the GCPD and get a missing person notice out. 

She ended up giving me her apartment key so that I could lock her door for now, but be able to come in later. Being in a sketchy neighborhood like this, I didn't like the idea of leaving her alone with her door unlocked. Especially with how frail she was. I wondered why her door was unlocked in the first place; her son must have forgotten to lock the door. It felt weird possessing a neighbor's apartment key that I barely knew, but it made me feel good to help someone out.

After a while, Sophie and her daughter came home. I didn't tell her about what happened with the neighbor because I didn't think it was something she needed to worry about. 

"By the way," she started as she was putting up some groceries, "there is a guy that lives a few doors down. He is kinda weird. He talks to himself a lot and does some awkward things, but he is harmless. I just thought about it because he was in the elevator with us just now. I'll secretly point him out whenever we see him." 

"Doesn't everyone in Gotham do weird and awkward things?" I jested. 

"Umm...not me," she said seriously. 

I giggled to myself and started helping her put some things in the refrigerator. Almost as soon as we got all of the groceries put up, there was a knocking at the door. I told Sophie that I would get the door since she was going to start getting her daughter to bed.

I opened the door to see a tall, lanky man. He had one hand on the outside door frame, supporting his body weight into the standing position that it was in. His other arm was wrapped around his abdomen. He seemed to wince in pain every time he took a breath. He was wearing a yellow vest and some dark maroon pants with big patches on one of the knees. He was just wearing socks, no shoes. After taking in his whole form, I looked at his face. He had brown, somewhat curly hair, that was greasy and a bit disheveled. His face was dripping, like he just washed his face; however, his lips and the area around his lips were stained red. Was it was rash? Did he just have a makeout session with a woman that wore a crazy amount of lipstick? Then I saw it, that vertical scar-like thing between his nose and mouth. I took a step back because I recognized him as the guy at the counselor's office, the one that gave my envelope back to me. The one I doubted I would see again. I mean, Gotham is so huge, so why would I expect to see him again? Why was he here? Why now? 

I got a weird feeling, so I took a cold approach to my greeting, "Um, who are you?"

He didn't respond for a minute or two. It seemed like he was studying me, which just added to my weird feelings. However, his blank expression soon changed to surprise. His jaw dropped a bit and his eyes opened wide, causing them to light up. He pushed himself off of the door frame and ran his now free hand through his hair a few times to somewhat comb it back out of his face. His hand then moved down from his head to the back of his neck and he nervously scratched at his neck. He let out a sigh and pressed his lips into a hard line. 

Now, instead of looking shocked, he looked embarrassed. "Um, I, uh," he started to giggle a bit, "it's you."

My brows furrowed and I crossed my arms, "What do you mean 'it's you'? Why are you here? Are you following me? Dude, get away from me." 

I knew I was being rude to him, but he was making me feel weird. I have had stalkers before, so I was familiar with their "vibe". There was no way I was going to make myself a weak target for a stalker right now. If Sophie and her daughter got caught in the middle of something crazy like that, I would not be able to forgive myself.

The man was obviously trying to suppress his giggles; he cleared his throat and then groaned in pain. His arm was still wrapped around his abdomen, but he was now holding onto his body as hard as he could. He bent over and his free hand went to his throat. He groaned in pain as his giggles turned into a hard, loud laugh. He laughed until he was out of breath and he struggled breathe. He stood back up and threw his head back, choking as he attempted to take small breaths inward from the open air of the hallway. It seemed that every time he was able to get an acceptable amount of air in his lungs, his body forced him into another laugh. This went on for a while and I decided just to shut the door. However, just before the door shut, the man stuck his foot out, stopping the door from meeting the door frame. Great. 

I yelled, "Dude, move your foot!"

I raised my foot, I still had my shoes on, so that could stomp on his bare foot, but before I did he stuck a card in my face. I still kept my foot in the air, but I took the card from him and read it. Once I read it, I gently put my foot back on the ground and my face softened. I opened the door fully again and he withdrew his foot. I patiently waited for him to stop laughing. I still felt on edge, but I was going to go ahead and give him a chance to explain. A lot of my friends through the years had struggled with this disorder or that disorder, that is why many of them turned to drugs. So, I decided to show him some compassion, something that my friends hardly ever got from strangers. Of course, I already had been rude to him; which, now that I knew about his condition, is probably what threw him into his laughing fit. I would have to try and make up for that. 

He was finally able to compose himself, "Y-you helped my mother. I just, uh, wanted to thank you."

"Oh, Penny is your mother?" I gave a concerned look down the hall at Penny's apartment and then looked back at the man with a lifted eyebrow, "so, you are her son? So, you are Happy, then?" He looked at me, confused. "Like, your name. Is your name Happy?"

He let out a small laugh. A genuine laugh, not the weird, encroaching laugh that took place just moments ago. "No, she calls me that. But, uh, my name is Arthur. Arthur Fleck."


	4. Fate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first (of a few chapters) that will involve the POV of Anon AND Arthur. I will note the POV for each section.

***  
Anon's POV  
***

I decided it would be best to continue my conversation with Arthur out in the hallway. Surely all of this commotion would make it hard for Sophie's daughter to get to sleep. I had noticed that the walls here were thin. All day I had been hearing everything that the neighbors were doing. Everything. In fact, as Arthur and I stood there, I could hear an argument in an apartment that was directly across the hall.

I took a few steps forward to exit the apartment and gently closed the door behind me. I expected Arthur to take a few steps back as I moved out into the hallway, but he didn't; he just stood there, looking directly into my eyes. Now, I was just inches away from him and the scent of cigarettes took over my senses. It made me crave a smoke. It had been forever since I had one. Having absolutely no money sucks.

He pulled me out of my cigarette thoughts by bringing up his right hand to my face and caressing my left cheek with his thumb, right below my eye. My thoughts and whole body froze by the unwarranted touch. His hand felt much softer than it looked, and I felt the conflicted feelings of enjoying the small action of affection and being horrified that this was coming from someone I didn't know. He couldn't actually think that this was an okay thing to do to a stranger, could he? 

"I thought your eyes looked different. I didn't know for sure until now," he said with amazement.

"What?" I asked, as if I had completely forgotten that I had one green eye and one blue eye.

"Well, I didn't notice it all the night we first met. Then today, when I saw you in front of Kenny's Music...."

I raised up my hands to stop him from talking, placed them on his chest and gently pushed him back. This forced him to take a few steps back from me so that there was actually a little bit of distance between us. 

"Wait, what are you talking about? You saw me today? How exactly did that happen? For real, are you following me?" I tried not to sound annoyed, but this was just getting kind of crazy.

He shook his head at me as his hands gently cut through the air in a diagonal, downward motion as if to dash away my last question, "No, ma'am. I'm not following you. You see, I work at Ha Ha's," he paused, "as a clown-for-hire. I do different things depending on the job, but I was the one advertising the sale that Kenny's Music was having." He flashed a huge grin, "Remember?"

It took me about half of a second to remember: This was the clown that was dancing in the busy sidewalk. The one that I laughed for and threw imaginary flowers to. The one I wish I had money for so that I could tip him for his cute little show. Now his clothes looked familiar and his red lips made sense. But why did this man just happen to keep reappearing in my life? Three times in the time span of little over 24 hours...that had to be a record. 

"So, you are saying we go to the same counseling office, you happened to work on the same street I was walking down and now we are neighbors?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

He placed his hands into his pockets, raised his shoulders, cocked his head to the side and gave me a one-sided smile, "I guess so, yes, that sounds about right."

I stood there for a moment, not sure what else to say. He just kind of stood there, like he was waiting for me to say something else. So, I changed the subject back to what he originally came over for, "Look, Arthur, it was no problem, helping your mother. She is very sweet. But listen to me, Arthur, your mother was freaking out about you and the door was unlocked. I would say that you are lucky that I walked in...and not someone else. Who knows what could have happened."

Arthur's face looked defeated as he was scolded by you, like he was an irresponsible teenager - not a thirty-something year old that he actually was, "It wasn't my intention to leave the door unlocked or to miss lunch with her today. Those things never happen, but today just didn't go the way I wanted it to."

For some reason, I was curious, "What happened?"

He was looking at his feet, gently kicking at the floor like he was kicking at rocks or something, "Oh some kids stole my sign from me an..."

I thought he was going to continue his story, but he just stopped and started looking around, obviously avoiding eye contact with me, "That's it? They stole your sign?"

He rolled his neck, let out a sigh and locked eyes with me and I saw a glimpse of frustration before he looked away and continued, "Well I chased after them, following them into an alley way and," he cleared his throat, "they ganged up on me. You know, just kids...being kids."

"What?!" I said with surprise, "that is not something that 'kids' do." 

Though, this was Gotham and everything in Gotham was horrible...even the kids. But it wasn't completely their fault. Horrible Gotham made way for a lot of horrible parents, which resulted in a lot of horrible kids. That is what happens when a society is built by the decisions of rich people that only care about themselves and people like them. All of the rest are left behind to suffer the consequences.

I now felt really guilty for being rude with him and almost stepping on his foot earlier. He definitely didn't deserve that. He already had a bad enough day. I reached out my right hand, grabbed his left hand and gave it a little squeeze. He just looked down at our hands and then up at me. 

"I am sorry, Arthur. I am sorry you had a bad day and I am sorry that I was being a bitch," I bit my lip, "do you forgive me?"

He gave my hand a small squeeze back and he smiled, "Of course I... I mean... You weren't... Well, you helped my mother. She is the only person I, uh, have. So, you have n-no idea what it means..." his words trailed off a bit.

"Thanks, Arthur. Well,I really need to get to bed. I have some serious job searching to do tomorrow," I reached my hand back to open the apartment door, "is Ha Ha's hiring?" I gave him a small giggle to let him know I was joking and turned to enter the room.

"Wait," he said, taking a step forward in attempt to get my attention. I stopped and looked back at him, "you know my name, but, well, I don't know yours."

"Oh, you're right. My name is Anon. Nice to meet you, Arthur. Goodnight," and with that I continued my way into the apartment and closed the door. I waited by the door until I heard him say a quiet 'goodnight' and then his footsteps retreat from the door.

***  
Arthur's POV  
***

I shut my apartment door behind me, put all of my weight against it and sighed. What a disaster. My mother told me that it was Sophie's friend that helped her. I didn't really know Sophie, but I knew where her apartment was. I just went over there to say 'thank you'. I was not expecting to see her. I mean, I was happy to see her again, elated, but I was definitely not prepared.

I locked the door and then started walking towards the living room, but in my peripheral view, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the dingy mirror that was hanging on the wall to my right. I turned toward the mirror and looked at myself closely. I looked a mess. My red makeup still stained my face and I was still wearing part of my clown outfit. But probably the worst of it is the fact that I admitted that some kids beat me up. I shouldn't have brought it up. It is fucking pathetic. No wonder I don't have anyone.

I looked down at the floor as my negative thoughts began to weigh down on me. It was like I could physically feel them pressing on the top of my head and push me towards the floor. I need my medication, I thought. I walked over to the small kitchen and located my medicine on the counter. There were many different bottles, but not all of them were for me; there were also a few for my mother. But there were so many bottles between the two of us, it was almost like we had our own mini pharmacy. I screwed off the lid of the particular medicine I was looking for and placed a few pills in my left hand. 

As I looked down at my hand, I remembered that she held onto this hand just moments ago. She held it and squeezed it in attempt to comfort me, as she apologized. But she didn't have to apologize. Not her. I know that she was leery of me, with the way our paths happened to cross, but for me - it just meant it was fate. Fate made our paths cross the way that they did. The thought brought a smile to me face as I dropped the pills, that were in my hand, down into the sink. I suddenly didn't feel like I needed them anymore. I walked into the living room to watch TV, imagining that she was still holding my hand.


	5. Following

***  
Anon's POV.  
***

"Thank you, Sophie, I really appreciate everything," I yelled as I stood in the bathroom, putting on a minimal amount of makeup to at least make myself a little presentable for the day.

She was running around getting herself and her daughter ready for the day, so I wasn't even sure she heard me until she walked into the bathroom, "No problem, girl. You can keep the clothes, if you like them enough."

After I finished with the makeup, I reached down to smooth out the skirt I was wearing. It was just a simple white blouse and grey skirt, definitely good enough to wear while applying for waitress jobs. It had been a long time since I wore anything like this, I usually just wore shirts and pants. I wasn't super fashionable, but then again, my money usually went towards drugs, so why would I care much about my clothes? At least I was on the road to changing that. 

"I hope I get a job today."

Sophie stood next to me as we looked at each other in the mirror, "Or maybe you will just run into some old, rich man and he falls in love with you. Then you won't need to work," she said as she rubbed her thumb and index finger together, "Get that money, honey!" We both laughed.

"Uh, yeah... No thanks, I would rather work."

Sophie placed her head on my shoulder, "So, Anon, I know you are job searching today, so go ahead and come to work with me first. I know that I told you that I am basically miserable there, but it is something. And if we work together, maybe it won't be as miserable. I am pretty sure we are hiring. Maybe you can go ahead and get a quick interview in with my boss."

"That sounds good to me," I gave her a quick side hug and then I started walking out of the bathroom, "I am going to go get a newspaper, is it okay if I borrow some change?"

"Yeah, of course!"

"I'll wait for you outside," I announced as I slipped on some simple, black low-heeled shoes. I grabbed all of the change that I needed, left the apartment, and made my way out to the streets of Gotham.

It was a tad chilly, just because it was still early in the morning, so I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to contain as much heat as I could while I looked up and down the street for the nearest newspaper machine. When I finally spotted one, I rushed over to get what I needed so I could go back inside the lobby area of the apartment building and wait for Sophie there. With the newspaper in hand, I made my way back. When I did, I saw that Arthur was standing outside at a corner of the apartment building with his back against the wall. I couldn't help but wonder if he was already there when I came out of the building. 

His head was turned to a slight angle as he stared at nothing with hooded eyes. He held his cigarette between his index and middle fingers so that it was just a couple of inches from his mouth. I slowed my walk to have a little more time to watch him before I made it back to the building. I wanted to see if he was going to snap out of his little trance or not. He just stood there in his blue-grey sweater, blue pants and soft-beige hoodie, oblivious to the chilly wind. I was finally just a few feet from him and he still didn't move. I told Sophie about everything that happened with Arthur last night and she told me that he was exactly the person that she was talking about before. The one that was "weird and awkward, but harmless". He is definitely something, I thought.

"Hey, you!" I spoke out loudly to scare him. It worked, his whole body jerked, which made him drop his cigarette. It just happened to fall in a puddle of water, so there was no saving it. "Oh, geez, I'm sorry. I mean, I meant to scare you, but I didn't mean to make you drop your cigarette." I moved so that I was right beside him and I threw my back against the wall. I wrapped my arms around myself and rubbed my arms, trying to create some body heat that the wind had taken from me.

He scoffed, "You didn't scare me, just surprised me." I saw his eyes quickly look me up and down as he reached into his pocket for his pack of cigarettes. It was kind of cute that he tried to do that without me noticing.

As he pulled out a single cigarette and was about to to place it in his mouth, I blurted out, "Hey, can a bum a cigarette off you?" I couldn't help myself, I had to have one. Not only to calm my nerves for the day ahead, but to warm me up a bit.

He looked at me through the corners of his eyes and a one-sided smile formed on his face. The way he looked at me just made him look really devious , "Miss, are you even old enough to smoke?"

"Oh, ha-ha, funny clown guy. Please." 

He took the cigarette that was heading to his mouth and stuck it out towards me. Once I took it from his hand, he reached and got another one for himself. He put the pack back into his pocket, took out a lighter, and moved it towards me. As I stuck the cigarette in my mouth, he cupped his hand over the lighter to protect it from the wind and flicked the lighter on. He moved the lighter to my cigarette and I took a few puffs so it would start burning. Once my cigarette was good to go, he did the same for his. We were silent as we enjoyed our cigarettes.

Finally, he broke the silence for once, "So, you said you were job searching today?"

"Yeah, I am," I shook the newspaper, "that's what this is for. However, I am going to check out the bank that Sophie works at. Hopefully that will work out and won't have to spend the whole day running around all of Gotham."

He looked at me as he took a big drag of his cigarette and then raised his head up to blow out the smoke away from us, "You really shouldn't be walking around Gotham by yourself."

"Arthur, you don't know anything about me. I know I seem like a small little girl to you, but I have spent quite a bit of time walking around Gotham on my own. So," I paused, "don't worry about me."

He did that thing again where he was holding his cigarette just a couple of inches from his mouth and stared at nothing in particular, but his eyes were intense this time. I could almost see gears moving behind his eyes, like he was thinking very carefully about how he wanted to respond. 

After a minute he finally said, "You are wrong, I-I know a little bit about you. I know your name is Anon, you have blonde hair, you have different colored eyes, you are obviously a very caring person. You...you're," he started to giggle. 

It didn't take him long to break out into all of the motions that I have seen before: clearing his throat, coughing, tensing his mouth, tensing his throat, and anything else he could do to try and stifle the urge to laugh. However, none of it helped. His giggles turned into a laughter that wouldn't stop. It just got harder and louder until all of the air was gone from his lungs. He let his body slide down the wall until he was sitting on the ground as he tried to regain any air that he could. I flicked my cigarette away and knelt down by him. I had no idea what to do, so I just placed my hand on his shoulder. At first, his shoulder was bobbing up in down due to his laughter. As his laughing slowed, so did the movement in his shoulder. It was a couple of minutes before it stopped completely and he was finally able to catch his breath. 

He looked me in the eyes as he continued his thought with a hoarse voice, "It is true that I don't know a lot about you. But, I would like to."

At that moment, Sophie came outside with her daughter, "I am sooo sorry, Anon. Oh, hi, Arthur." Arthur didn't seem enthused to see her, but he gave her a small "hello" with a smile.

I helped Arthur stand back up, "Are you good, Arthur?"

"Yes, yes. I'm fine," he ran his hand through his brown hair, "I'll be heading to work soon."

"Okay, well, wish me luck." Sophie, her daughter and I started walking away.

***  
Arthur's POV.  
***

I watched Anon walk away. Sophie's timing was horrible. Of course, we would have gotten further into our conversation if it wasn't for my condition. Fate can be horribly cruel sometimes. I love to make people laugh, but when I laugh it is rarely a pleasure. My laughter is usually painful and constricting. It is so hard to express my thoughts and feelings to Anon because of my uncontrollable laugh. It's almost like my body doesn't want me to open up to Anon, so it uses my condition against me every time I try to. Rejection would be a hard thing to deal with, especially if it came from her, but I have to try...don't I? Nothing will ever happen if I don't try.

As I pulled myself from my thoughts, I noticed that Anon was now quite a distance from me and I wasn't ready for her to leave me completely. Honestly, I didn't have a job lined up until later today, so I really had nothing to do now. I think I should follow her, at least to make sure that she makes it to the bank okay. So, I took off after her.

It didn't take me too long to catch up. Once I did, I pulled at the strings of my hoodie so that the hood did a better job of covering my face. I made sure to keep a safe distance. I followed them to the school that Sophie's daughter attended and then to the bank that Sophie worked at. I was actually familiar with this route because I have followed Sophie before. She was nice enough to me and she was pretty. However, after meeting Anon, Sophie just couldn't compare.

It didn't take to long before we were just a few blocks from the bank. The closer we got to the bank, I found the gap between myself and them was closing. Their words were whispers to me. I wonder if she is talking about me. I couldn't help my curiosity, so I came up closer behind them. At this point, we were standing at a crosswalk, waiting for the walk sign to turn green. There were only a few other people standing there with us and I made sure to keep them between me and Anon. I could almost hear what they were saying to each other, so I inched a little closer. However, I was so focused on listening to them that I didn't notice just how close I was standing to another man that was waiting at the crosswalk.

He shoved his shoulder into my chest, "Get off me, jackass!" 

He said it so loud that everyone that stood there started to turn to look at us. Even Sophie and Anon were turning their heads, so I quickly turned on my heels and started walking away. I tried to be as casual as I could, but then thoughts started racing through my mind: What if she knows it is me? She already thought I was following her before and now, here I am, actually following her! Why am I doing this? I shouldn't be doing this! I panicked and ran into the nearest store, just to get out of their view. I looked out of the shop's window as my body jittered from the sudden anxiety. I could sense the giggles encroaching on the back of my throat. Please not now. Calm down, calm down. It's okay. 

I saw that the crosswalk light had turned green and the people were already walking across the street, including Sophie and Anon. Maybe they didn't see me or at least recognize me. I watched as they walked into the bank. That was it, she was completely out of sight now. I was able to sigh in relief and my body calmed. I told myself that I should head back to the apartment. I shouldn't risk this anymore, but I my body wouldn't move.


	6. Ha-Ha's

***  
Arthur's POV.  
***

I sat at a table in the store, that I sought refuge in, for what felt like a long time. It was just a little hole-in-the-wall burger joint that smelled like a vat of grease. My eyes hardly left the windows, but I could still tell just how dirty the place was. There were so many hand prints smeared on the windows, it must have been years since they did any kind of cleaning. I was tempted to look around at the walls, ceiling and the floor to see what else they neglected, but I couldn't risk missing Anon if she walked out of the bank. What would be taking so long? Did they just hand her a job right then and there and tell her to get to work? I sat there asking myself these questions until I felt a hard tap on my shoulder.

I looked up to see an older waitress, her face was worn of stress and age, peering at me with squinted eyes and her lips were pressed into a hard line, "Excuse me, sir, but you really need to order something or you need to leave."

I took a look around the place. Empty table, empty table, empty table. The place wasn't busy. How was me sitting here causing any harm to her business. 

I scoffed, "why?"

"Because I said so. So, are you going to order something or what?" This bitch. I jerked myself up to a standing position and looked down at her, she was quite short. I saw a flicker of fear in her eyes, "Okay, you need to leave or I'm going to call the police."

My sudden change in emotion was triggering my condition and I felt it building up in my chest. I didn't need to deal with this right now, so I told her that I was leaving. As I turned to grab my hoodie, that I had taken off and placed on the table, I happened to look out the window and see Anon exit the bank. And with that, I hurriedly grabbed my hoodie, yanked it onto my body and pushed passed the waitress. She let out a shriek when I pushed her, but I didn't care. She almost made me miss seeing Anon leave. After all that time of waiting, that is when the bitch decided to bug me.

I exited the store and made my way in the direction that Anon was going. I decided to follow her from across the street this time, to lessen my chance of getting caught.

She didn't walk too far before entering a diner. I stopped walking and waited for a few minutes until she came back out to the street. And this pattern continued. She basically went into every restaurant, diner, coffee shop and bakery that she passed. This lead me to believe that the bank didn't hire her, so she was now seeking other options. I followed her as she walked and waited for her every time she entered a building. Each time she was out of my view, I would tell myself to leave and I would struggle to do so. Sometimes, I even started walking away, but she always seemed to come back out onto the street just in time for me to see her and pull me back in.

As I followed her, I took in all if the details of her that I could, from the distance I was at. I would rather be closer to her, but at least I could take in her whole form from here. Her long blonde hair kept dancing in her face, due to the wind, so she ended up putting it in a high ponytail. I was excited that she did this because it completely opened up her face, I could see everything. And not only her face, I could also see her slender neck. Naturally, my eyes wandered from her neck, to her chest, to her waist and then to her ass. She didn't have largely voluptuous curves, but her curves were beautiful, nonetheless. Looking at her like this only made me want to close the gap that was between us. To walk next to her. To wrap my arm around her waist. To...

Suddenly, she disappeared into another building and I decided to sit down for a moment; I was getting myself all flustered. I looked around my surroundings and it didn't take me long to realize how familiar this area was. If Anon kept walking in this direction, down this very street, she would eventually pass Ha Ha's. 

Surely she wouldn't go in, would she? She wasn't really desperate enough to try and get a job there, was she? While I loved my job, I definitely knew that it was not a place that she should be working at. Not only do they have clowns for hire, but they also have strippers for hire. With how beautiful Anon was, I could definitely see Hoyt trying to talk her into it. Surely Anon wouldn't go for a job like that, but then again, it seemed that she did have some kind of troubled past, so maybe her trauma would drive her to such a job. Sure, I didn't really know anything about her past, so I couldn't say for sure if she had experienced trauma, but she was seeing the same counselor as me. That had to say something, didn't it? 

I sat there in my thoughts, waiting for Anon to come back out.

***  
Anon's POV.  
***

I walked out, of what felt like the 100th diner I had been in today, back onto the street and continued my journey. I did meet Sophie's boss, but he said he wouldn't be able to hire me since I didn't have my high school diploma. Such bullshit. So, here I was, applying for all of these waitress jobs. Whatever, it was fine, as long as I got a job I would be happy.

I walked a few more blocks until a sign caught my eye, it said "Ha Ha's". That was the place that Arthur said he worked. When I left him earlier, he said he was about to head to work and it made me wonder if he was inside or not. It would be kind of funny to "stalk" him since I thought he had been stalking me before. I contemplated a few more seconds before I decided to go for it. 

I entered the doorway, walked up some stairs and made my way into a big, sparse room. The wall across from me was made up mostly of big windows and there were a few drab vanities lined up against them. One guy was sitting at one of the vanities, putting on makeup. The wall to the right was covered by a bunch of very old, rusty lockers. My eyes moved to the center of the room and there were 3 guys fully dressed up as clowns, sitting at a table and playing a card game, but none of them were Arthur. It was about 30 seconds before the guys at the table saw me and stopped talking, which caused the one guy at the vanity to turn around and see what was up.

"Little girl, what do you want," one of the men at the table huffed at me.

"Why ya gotta be so rude, Rick. Come over here doll, sit down," said the clown that was sitting directly across from 'Rick'. He gave me a big, friendly smile, but his eyes flickered with lust.

All of a sudden, I heard a very familiar voice behind me, "Anon, what are you doing here?"

I sighed a sigh of relief, turned on my heels and was face to face with Arthur. Well, not so much face to face, since he was at least a full head taller than me, so more like face to chest with him. I looked up at him and I could feel his warm breath on my face, which of course smelled like cigarettes. He smiled at me and in the corner of my eye I caught his hand reach up towards my face, but then he hesitated and changed course to his own head. He ran his hand through his hair and placed his hand back down at his side. 

I took a few steps back from him, "I just thought I would let you know how it felt to be stalked." After I said that his smile quickly dissipated and he looked at me with eyes that were full of regret. His body automatically started to tick with anxiety and he tried to say something, but all he could do was stutter. "Arthur, I'm kidding!" I quickly added. I did not want to throw him into another laughing fit all for the sake of a joke. I saw his body relax. Geez, what is up with him? "I was job searching in the area and just happened to see the sign and I remembered you worked here, so I thought I would drop in and say hi."

"Oh," he broke eye contact with me, "I see, well, what interesting timing because I actually just got here," he said as he walked around me and headed towards the lockers. I turned to watch him as he opened a locker, that I had to assume was his, and he started fiddling with things, but he didn't actually put anything in or take anything out.

I walked over to him and sat down behind him on a bench that was in front of his locker, "well, you know how we are. We just keep running into each other. It's kinda weird, isn't it?" 

His body still faced the locker, but he turned his head around, as much as he could, and looked at me through the corners of his eyes. It looked like he wanted to say something significant, but he didn't. He just turned back around and gave me a small 'yeah' as a response. Then it went silent. Now that Arthur and I were no longer talking to each other, I remembered that there were 4 other guys in the room, one of which gave me the creeps and was sure I could feel him staring. 

I stood up, "Well, I'm going to keep at it. I'll see ya later."

"Okay, be careful," I heard him say, with his face still towards the locker, almost like he was talking to the locker and not to me. 

As I walked out of the room, a tall, heavyset man passed by me, heading in the direction I just came from. I could feel his stare linger on me as I left.

***  
Arthur's POV.  
***

"Damn, who was that?!" Randall yelled out into the room as he entered.

Rick sneered, "Dunno. Seems like we will have to ask Arthur. She apparently came looking for him."

Randall walked over to me, holding out his hands, palms up, in the air, with a look of confusion on his face, "Came looking for Arthur. OUR Arthur? REALLY?" His voice boomed with disbelief. 

I did my best to ignore him, but it was impossible. He was a big, loud guy and he didn't shy away from getting into people's faces in order to be heard. He threw his entire weight against the locker beside me, causing a loud bang, and just stood there looking at me. I didn't dare look at him, then he would think I was actually interested in what he had to say. Of course, I didn't need to show interest, he went right on to talking anyways. 

"My man, Arthur. Where did you find her? And how old is she? I think you might be breaking a few laws," he looked towards the rest of the guys in the room, "wouldn't you guys agree?" I heard them laugh and make noises of agreement. I was about to interject, but then he continued his joke, "Don't worry, Arthur, we won't tell anyone. You know, as long as you," he paused and leaned his body a little closer to me, "let us have some fun with her too." 

Now, all of them were laughing, hooting and hollering like depraved dogs. I felt my blood boil at his sick joke. I slammed my locker shut and turned to face Randall. Even though my eyebrows were furrowed and my teeth were clenched together with anger, he just laughed at me. Both of us knew that I stood no chance against him if we were to get into a physical altercation, but it didn't change that fact that I wanted to punch him square in the nose. 

And then I felt it, that feeling in my chest that rose up to the back of my throat. All I could think was, Oh God, not now. Stifled giggles escaped from my mouth and I tried my best to stop it, but I failed. As I struggled to fight against it just got stronger. Soon, the laughter forced it's way out from my mouth. 

As I went into a full laugh, Randall pointed at me, "Look boys, Arthur loves the idea!" 

They started laughing in sync with me, as if we were all laughing together. But I didn't want to laugh, not about this. The laughter soon turned into pain as my lungs fought to breathe. I sat down on the bench where Anon had been sitting just moments ago and waited for my laughter to cease. Thankfully, Randall and the other guys lost their interest in the joke and were now back to doing what they were doing before this all happened. 

One day, Randall would regret making that fucking joke.


	7. Faltering

***  
Anon's POV.  
***

Two months. Two whole months have passed since I moved in with Sophie and I still haven't landed a job. My mission to find a job started with plenty of positive energy and motivation. I stayed out basically from sun up to sun down every day, applying literally every where. There wasn't one diner, restaurant, bakery, coffee shop or the like that I didn't apply at, no matter if they were located in the "bad parts" of Gotham. Surely someone should have hired me by now.

I looked up at the clock, it was 9:00am. Sophie left with her daughter a little more than an hour ago and I was laid out on the couch trying to coax myself into a standing position, but I just couldn't. There was an invisible weight on top of me that held me down into place and I didn't know what to do. My eyes laid on the TV, but if someone came in and asked me what was on the TV, I wouldn't be able to tell them. 

The only thing my mind could focus on were the negative thoughts. I still don't have a job. I really am worthless. It was stupid to think that things would be different this time. I should just go back to the drugs. I reached my hands up to my head and viciously rubbed my fingertips against my skull, trying to dislodge the negative thoughts that were crowding the inside of my brain.

Everything really had been going well for a few weeks. I was helping Sophie as much as I possibly could, I was attending my counseling/probation/treatment appointments, I was passing my drug tests, I was positive about finding a job, and I actually made a new friend - Arthur. However, for each day that I remained jobless, my positive energy and motivation faltered. It became increasing harder to leave Sophie's apartment each day; resulting in me being late for several appointments, which was making my counselor, probation officer, and doctor upset with me. 

Since I was barely able to get myself out of the apartment for my required appointments, I haven't even seen Arthur in a couple of weeks. Sophie told me that Arthur kept asking her about me whenever she passed him in the hall, but I still couldn't bring myself to go see him. For some reason, I just did not want him to see me like this. Maybe it was because I could tell he cared about me, so I didn't want to give him a reason to worry. He had enough on his plate already. 

I was certain that once I got a job and actually had something to give me purpose every day, everything would go back to how it was before. I would feel happy and motivated and I could actually see Arthur again.

However, it seemed like things were going to get worse before they would get better. I was finding myself more and more dependent on my antidepressant medication. I reached down to my purple bag that was laying on the floor, propped against the couch, and dug around for my medication. Once I found it, I quickly poured out a couple of pills and swallowed them down - not even worried about getting water. I threw the medicine bottle back into my bag and curled myself back into my original position on the couch. 

My eyes focused on the TV, but my brain was working to get myself motivated for my counseling appointment that I had later that day.

*  
*

I jerked myself up into a sitting position on the couch. It was like my brain sent an electric shock through my body and I was automatically taken over by anxiety. Shit, did I fall asleep? How long have I been asleep? Oh my God, what time is it? I looked up a the clock on the wall and jumped up. Shit, I'm late. I hurried around the apartment to grab my things and ran out the door. I started running down the hall until, Shit! I didn't lock the door. I ran back, fumbled with the key, locked the door and ran off again toward the nearest subway entrance.

I made it down to the subway and there was a group of people waiting for the same train that I needed to board. I joined the group and used this time to put my unbrushed hair in a messy bun and fix my thrown on clothing. A couple of people looked at me and it made me feel very self-conscious; I probably looked like a grade-A mess.

"Anon," a quiet voice called behind me, "is that you?" 

I turned and saw who the voice belonged to and couldn't help but give him a shy smile and small wave. It was Arthur. He was wearing a white colored shirt with a dark brown sweater over it, his soft beige hoodie, and dark pants. His hair was brushed back behind his ears, as it usually was. 

He walked up so that he was standing to the right of me and he looked at me with concern, "It's been a long ti---I haven't seen you. I was," he paused, "worried about you."

Worried about me? That is exactly what I was trying to avoid , I thought to myself before replying to him, "Arthur, why are you worrying about me? You have yourself and your mother to worry about. Stop wasting your time on me."

"Hey," he reached his right hand out, grabbing my left shoulder and gently pulling it towards him, which forced my body to face him, as he knitted his brows and looked at me with serious eyes, "worrying about you is not a waste of time." 

I did not expect that reaction. His words were said with such sincerity that they tugged at my heart strings and I honestly felt like crying, but that was probably from the depression I was currently suffering from. My smile widened, in attempt to push away my sadness, but a single tear still managed to escape and it rolled down my left cheek. Without hesitation, his hand moved from my shoulder to my cheek and he wiped the tear away with his thumb: his index and middle fingers gently caressing my jawline as he did so. This moment brought me back to the first time he touched my cheek - in front of Sophie's apartment when he was admiring my eyes. However, back then, his touch just made me feel nervous and a little violated. But it didn't feel like that this time. This time, it felt nice and welcomed. In fact, as his thumb touched my skin, I felt my tensed body relax a little.

We just stared at each other for a few seconds until we heard the train pull up. Arthur cleared his throat as he pulled his hand away and I gave out a small, nervous laugh. Once the train came to a complete stop, every one waiting for the train crowded through the train doors and found seats. We were the last ones to enter the train and there was only one seat left in this section of the train. Arthur looked at me, stuck out his hand toward the empty seat and bowed his head, offering the seat to me. I thanked him as I sat down and he stood in the aisle in front of me, holding onto the railing above his head. 

He looked down at me, "So, Anon, what happened? Why d-did ya just...disappear? Was it something I did?"

I shook my head at him, "Arthur, no, it had nothing to do with you. Honestly, I was trying to keep you from worrying, but I guess I fucked that up." I bit my lip and fiddled with the zip tie on my backpack as I thought about what I wanted to say. I didn't want to make Arthur worry about me more by telling him about my depression, but I knew I had to get him to understand that he was not at all to blame for my 'disappearance'. "Things just aren't going the way I was expecting. I thought I would have a job by now, but I haven't heard from anyone. It just kind of sucks, ya know? And on top of it, I am waaay late for my counseling appointment today."

"You have a counseling appointment today too?"

"Yeah, technically it started 15 minutes ago," I leaned back in the chair, crossed my arms and my right leg started bouncing with anxiety, "my counselor is going to be pissed with me. I was a few minutes late last week."

Just then, the train stopped again. A few people filed out, one of which had been sitting next to me. Arthur quickly slipped down into the now empty seat. His body was positioned so that he was facing me as he spoke, "Does talking to her help you, at all?"

I drummed my fingers on my arms as I thought for a moment and eventually shrugged my shoulders, "I don't know. I guess not really. Sometimes I feel like she's not really listening."

"That is exactly how I feel," he pulled out a notepad from his pocket that was creased vertically in the middle from being folded up constantly, "She makes me write in this and we talk about some of the things in it. Sometimes I feel like we talk about the same things every week. As if she doesn't remember anything I tell her, even though she is always writing down notes. It feels pointless sometimes." He aligned himself with his seat and sighed.

I pulled my backpack into my lap, "She makes me keep a journal as well." I started feeling around different pockets to locate my notepad, but I didn't feel it. My eyes widened with worry and I pulled the bag open all of the way so I could actually look inside. I fumbled around all of the pockets that the notepad could fit into, "Shit, shit, shit. Goddamn it, I forgot it at the apartment." I let out a loud groan of frustration, closed the backpack and dropped it down onto the floor. "Now I am late and don't have my journal. She is definitely going to be pissed." 

The rest of the way to the counseling office was plagued with silence. I was stressing about what the counselor was going to say and didn't feel like talking. I think Arthur picked up on this, because he didn't even try to talk to me. He just stayed beside me in silence. Once we made it to the counseling office and checked in with the receptionist, Arthur and I sat down together. 

A minute after we sat down, the counselor came out to the lobby, "Lenora, come on back to my office."

I rolled my eyes when she called me by my birth name, but I wouldn't try to correct her anymore. If she didn't get it by now that I hate being called that, she never would. As I stood up, I looked over at Arthur and he gave me this confused look. As I followed the counselor, I wondered why he looked at me that way.

I followed the counselor into her office and sat down in my usual spot. She only made her way to the side of her desk before turning on her heels to face me and standing there with one hand on her hip, "Lenora, this is the second week in a row you have been late and more than half of your appointment time has already passed."

I looked at her and nervously twiddled my fingers, "I'm sorry. I know we talked last week about me feeling kind of depressed because I haven't found a job. I still haven't found a job and my depression is getting worse every day. I feel stuck."

She sighed and made her way to her chair. Once she was seated, she flipped open my file, grabbed her pen and wrote something down. She wrote for about 30 seconds before she said anything, "The receptionist said that you came in with Mr. Fleck today." I confirmed that this statement was true and she wrote something else in her notes. I wasn't sure why it was important enough to write down. She stopped writing and looked up at me, "You never mentioned Mr. Fleck before. How do you know him?"

I could have sworn that I talked about Arthur with her before. We definitely didn't have any significant conversations about him, but I am pretty sure I causally mentioned him before, "He is my friend's neighbor."

"So, he is just a neighbor that you walk with to counseling?"

I adjusted myself in my seat. For some reason, it suddenly felt like I was being interrogated. "I mean, I consider him a friend. We don't hang out a lot or anything, but we talk to each other. I have also helped him with his mother on occasion. Whenever he is super slammed at work, I will go over and check on her. I have a key to their apartment." At least, that is what happened before my depression set in. I haven't been to Arthur's apartment in a couple of weeks.

She wrote down some more notes, "Okay, can I see your journal?" I moved my left elbow onto the arm of the chair I was sitting in and rubbed my fingers on my left temple as I avoided eye contact with her. I knew that she was eventually going to ask about my journal, but a small part of me still tried to hold out hope that she wouldn't. "Lenora, please tell me you have your journal."

"I-I forgot it."

She pressed her lips into a hard line and stared at me for an uncomfortable amount of time. When she was finally ready to say something, she gently tossed her pen onto her desk and folded her hands onto her lap, her fingers laced together neatly, "Lenora, your probation officer told me to call him if you were late again. I was going to ignore it, but now you tell me you don't have your journal, which I specifically told you that we would need for your appointment every week. You are not cooperating with the treatment plan I have in place with you, which is part of your probation requirement; I cannot ignore this." I tried to interject, but she waved her hands at me, "I don't want to hear it, Lenora. I will have to report this to your probation officer. We will end the appointment now so I can take care of this before my next appointment." 

Part of me wanted to defend myself, but the weight of my depression just made it impossible. Even if I did have the strength to try and defend myself, she wouldn't listen. She never listened. I stood up out of the chair and started walking away. When I got to the door, she spoke again, "By the way, you should rethink your friendship with Mr. Fleck."

I stayed at the door, but I looked back at her, "Why?"

"I can't say anything specifically, due to confidentiality, but just take my advice and rethink your friendship with him."

I took a few steps towards her, "I never asked for your advice and I never will. You may think you know Arthur, because you are his counselor, but you don't know anything about him. Him and I kind of met by weird chances of coincidence, but he has only ever been kind to me. He is a sweet guy that works hard to take care of his mother and does a good job of it, even though his circumstances aren't that great. He is one of those people that will get beat down by the world, but then turn right around and be there if you need him."

She placed her thumb and index finger under her chin, examining me, "Do you," she paused, "have feelings for Arthur?" I instinctively said 'no' and then looked over my shoulder, as if I was nervous to see Arthur standing behind me, witnessing my answer. He wasn't in the room though, he was waiting in the lobby. The counselor stood up, which brought my attention back to her, "Lenora, I really think..."

Before she could say anything else, I pointed my finger at her and shouted, "You are a shitty counselor! This will be the last time you see me because I am not coming back!"

"You have to attend counseling because of your probation."

"I'll ask my probation officer about getting a new counselor, fuck you!" I stormed out of her office, through the hall, and out to the lobby. As I walked up to Arthur, he stood up from his chair. I could tell he was going to ask me what was going on, but I cut him off, "Arthur, let's go."

"B-but, my appointment..." he seemed to be nervous from my demanding tone.

I made sure to soften my voice, "Arthur, you said yourself that talking to her seems pointless. So, why even do it? Why waste your time talking to her?" I stuck out my hand towards his hand, "Both of us are wasting our time with her. So, let's just go." His eyes darted from my eyes to my hand a few times, almost like he was just waiting for something to reveal that he was being punked. 

Then, I heard a voice come from behind me, "Arthur, you have any appointment with me, you can't leave."

Arthur looked past me for a moment, but it didn't take long for his eyes to come back and connect with mine. Then, he gave me that devious smile that I haven't seen in while. I smiled as I felt his warm hand wrap around mine and we made our way out of the office together, hand in hand.


	8. Pogo's

Arthur and I walked out onto the streets of Gotham. It was in the later part of the afternoon, so the sun was still shining, but it was definitely starting to lose its strength. I didn't really know where we were walking to, we were just walking. I looked over at Arthur as we walked and I couldn't help but feel annoyed by what the counselor said to me. Rethink my friendship with Arthur? Why would I ever want to do that?

Then I started to think about what the counselor asked me, about having feelings for Arthur. I told her that I didn't because you don't have to have feelings for someone to think nice things about them. Yes, Arthur is kind, a good caretaker, and selfless. But that doesn't mean I have to 'have feelings' for him. I mean, there was definitely an age gap between us, so would it even work anyways? I was never one that was attracted to older guys. I pretty much only dated guys my age. But then again, I haven't dated many guys. I started my relationship with Todd in early high school and he was very jealous and controlling during our relationship. So, I never had many chances to date anyone else. However, now that Todd was at Blackgate and I was out on probation, this is the first time in a long time that I wasn't under Todd's thumb. So maybe I would finally get the chance to date around now. However, that meant I would actually need to leave Sophie's apartment instead of being a depressed, shut-in.

Arthur eventually caught me staring, so I looked away. He kept his eyes on me for a bit before speaking, "What happened back there?"

"Honestly, I would rather not talk about all that right now."

He was about to speak, but then stopped himself by quickly snapping his mouth shut, clicking his teeth together. It was silent for a minute. "So," he drew out the 'o' sound, "where are we going?"

"I don't know," I looked around trying to think of something, but I really didn't have a plan, "I just had to get out of there, really. We could go anywhere." 

I started swinging my arm, which caused Arthur's arm to start swinging as well. It wasn't until that moment that I realized that we were still holding hands even though the counseling office was a few blocks back by now. I withdrew my hand from his and I could see the disappointment in his eyes, but I ignored it. 

"Sorry, didn't mean to kidnap your hand," I let out a nervous giggle.

"You didn't... I mean, it's fine." He smiled and took my hand back into his.

I bit my lip, now feeling a little nervous about the hand holding, but I didn't fight it. It wasn't that I didn't want to hold Arthur's hand; it had just been a long time since I held hands with anyone. Todd and I held hands sometimes, but it wasn't often. He didn't want to come off as 'soft'. 

"So, should we just go back to the apartments?"

"Well, I actually just thought of something we can do!" He was so happy with his idea that he did a little skip in his steps. It was kind of adorable.

"Okay, lead the way, sir!"

He let go of my hand only so he could lock his arm with mine as he picked up his walking pace a bit, "This way, madame!"

We ended up walking a pretty far distance to the place that Arthur was taking us, but he joked around most of the way, which made time go by pretty fast. Before I knew it, he stopped on the sidewalk and pointed up to a sign that said "Pogo's Comedy Club". Then he looked at me to gauge my reaction.

"We are going to see a comedy show?" He nodded his head. "Cool idea, Arthur. It has been a long time since I've been to one. Let's go in!"

On our way in, we were stopped by a big guy demanding $5 cover charge from each of us. Arthur was nice enough to pay mine, but it made me feel bad. Walking in, a wall of smoke hit us; the place was crowded. He took my hand again and began to lead me towards the tables. We snaked around the clustered tables, looking for one we could sit at. I didn't think we were going to find one, but we eventually did. The table we sat at was to the right of the stage and was almost to the back wall of the room. We were pretty far from the stage, but it didn't really matter. Arthur took out his pack of cigarettes and got one out for both of us. We sat there and enjoyed our cigarettes until the host comedian came out to start the show. 

Almost as soon as the show started, Arthur stuck his cigarette in his mouth, got out his journal and a pen, placed the journal on the table, and opened it up to a place where the left page was scribbled with writing and the right page was completely blank. I tried to avoid looking down at his journal because I didn't want him to think I was being nosey, but I was curious as to why he had his journal out at the comedy club.

He was completely focused on the host as he grabbed his cigarette between his fingers, took a drag, removed the cigarette, blew out the smoke, and put the cigarette back in his mouth. I'm not exactly sure why I liked watching him smoke his cigarettes, but I did. Maybe it was because of the movements of his fingers and mouth and the way he gently handled the cigarette. I wasn't sure, I couldn't really explain it. I have stared at this poor guy too many times today, I thought to myself as I turned my attention to the host. I didn't think the host was that funny, but soon he finally introduced the first comedian of the night.

There were three comedians scheduled for the show. The first one was a middle-aged woman and she had some funny stuff. The second one was a middle-aged man that had a darker sense of humor, but his stuff was pretty hilarious. The last guy was a younger guy, around my age, and I didn't really connect with his humor much. Maybe it was just because I didn't like the vibe that he gave off - he just seemed like a really sleazy guy. 

The one thing that was consistent during the show was Arthur's scribbling and loud, off-timing laughs. The whole room seemed to glance our way every time Arthur laughed and he was completely oblivious of it. However, there was one point where the sleazy comedian decided to comment on Arthur's laugh. 

The comedian looked in our direction and said, "Hey man, with a laugh like that, you definitely belong in Arkham Asylum. I can give you a ride after the show. I gotta meet my crazy ex for some sweet conjugal action." 

He gave a couple of pelvic thrusts, as the crowd laughed at his stupid joke, and then moved on to his next joke. There were still a few people staring at Arthur, whispering and quietly laughing amongst themselves.

I placed my hand on Arthur's arm and gently shook his arm, "Hey, what a douche. He isn't even funny. You wanna go ahead and bail?"

Arthur leaned his head towards mine and whispered, as if he was really worried about interrupting the jackass' show, "It's fine. It was just a joke." Once he said that, he went right back to scribbling in his journal. However, for the rest of the show, I noticed that Arthur stifled his laughter.

It wasn't too much longer until the show was over. We quickly made our way out of the building and found ourselves in the nighttime streets of Gotham. The sidewalks were lit up by the lamp posts, but it was still just as busy as it was during the day. Gotham was one of those cities that never really slept. We turned in the direction that would get us back to the apartments and started walking.

Arthur stuck his hands in his pockets and looked at me. "Did you enjoy the show?" he asked, with a big grin on his face.

"Yeah! It was fun!"

He nodded, looking so proud of himself, "Good!"

"Well, I mean, it was fun. Until that last guy came on. He wasn't very funny."

Arthur pouted his lips, "Don't let that one guy ruin the whole night."

I slightly raised up my hands in surrender, "I'm not, I'm not." I looked at him and caught a glimpse of his journal that was folded in his back pocket and I decided I had to ask, "So, Arthur, why were you writing in your journal while we were in there?"

"I was taking notes," he said very matter-of-factly. I raised an eyebrow at him and he continued, "My dream is to be a stand-up comedian. So, I also use my journal as a joke book. I write down jokes. Or I go to Pogo's and I'll write down notes of what other comedians do or how they say things so I can try and figure out the best way to set up my jokes."

"A stand-up comedian, huh?"

"Well, my mother has always told me that I was put here to spread joy and laughter to the world." He had such a sweet, boy-ish charm to his voice when he talked about his mother. "Being a comedian is the best way to do that."

"When are you going to actually sign up to be on stage?"

He jumbled around for an answer, "well, I am... I just... I want to come up with some more material first."

"Okay, well," I playfully struck his arm with my elbow, "you better invite me to your show when you finally do."

He looked at me sweetly, "Don't worry, you'll be the first person to hear about it."

Pogo's wasn't too far from our apartment building. We entered the building and Arthur headed straight for his mailbox and I sat down on the stairs to wait for him. For some reason his mother was always bugging him about the mail, so he had to check the mailbox all the time. He put the key into the keyhole, turned it until there was a click, pulled the mailbox open and put the key back in his pocket. It only took him a second to slam the mailbox closed. No mail.

As he made his way to me, I stood up, "Do you mind if we take the elevator? My legs are kind of tired from all of the walking we did today." It was the most walking I had done in a couple of weeks, so my legs were definitely out of shape.

"If you don't mind running the risk of getting stuck," he joked as he turned around to head towards the elevator.

I followed behind him, "Hey, if you are scared, you can take the stairs and I'll take the elevator by myself."

He stepped onto the elevator, pressed the button for our floor and faked a laugh, "No, I would hate for you to get stuck all by yourself."

I positioned myself on the elevator so that I was next to him and shuddered, "Actually, now that I think about it, that would be terrifying."

"Look who's scared now," he poked me on the shoulder with his slender, index finger, "Anon, that's who. "

The elevator doors took a good minute to close. Once the elevator jerked itself to a start, it started moving up and let out a horrible squeal. Then it rocked for a few seconds like there was a small earthquake and then stopped completely. I started to regret my decision to take this stupid elevator. I looked down at my feet as I tapped them in rhythm to a song that was in my head.

We stood there in silence, waiting for the elevator to do something, until Arthur spoke up, "Anon, why did the counselor call you Lenora?"

My head jerked up to look at him. He wasn't looking at me. He was just looking at the elevator buttons, with a serious expression on his face. This question came out of nowhere and it was crazy that we had been joking around just moments before, but now he seemed so serious.

I hesitated to actually answer his question. I honestly did not want to talk about it because it always led my mind into a dark path of horrible memories, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings either, "Lenora is my actual name, like, the one my parents gave me. I just go by Anon. I mean, I prefer to go by Anon. I actually hate the name Lenora."

He looked at me with a raised eyebrow, "You hate it? Why? I think it is beautiful."

I rubbed my fingers across my mouth to try and wipe away the tension that was building in my face, "It makes me think of my parents. I mean, I don't really remember my mom, she died when I was little. Like, little-little. But my dad...he is..." I stopped because I really didn't know what words I wanted to use to describe him. All of the horrible words I knew, and I knew a lot, just didn't quite do him justice.

During my silence, the elevator jerked back to a start and continued its way up to our floor.

Arthur nervously scratched at the back of his head, "I'm sorry..." He moved his hand from his head to his throat as he cleared his throat a couple of times. Oh god, is he about to have one of his laughing fits?

"I-it's okay, Arthur," I could barely get the words out because I was trying my best not to turn into a blubbering mess right then and there. You will not cry, you will not cry, I internally repeated to myself as I stiffly stood there, not looking at Arthur. 

He started choking back his giggles that were slipping out as he turned his body away from me. His back was towards me and he placed his hands on the wall of the elevator to keep himself in a stand position. He was able to keep his giggles from growing into a full laugh, but he was definitely in pain doing so. I could tell by the small groans of pain that escaped between his giggles. I felt the uncontrollable urge to comfort him, just as I did a couple of months ago. So, I moved towards him, wrapped my arms around his stomach and leaned my body against his back completely. I squeezed him just a tad, just to say, 'hey, I'm here', and then made sure to loosen my grip to make sure I didn't interfere with the minimal amount of breathing that he was able to do. I felt him rest one of his hands on top of mine and we just stayed there until the giggles stopped.

As the elevator came to a slow stop, he turned his body around in my arms and looked down at me. He lifted his right hand and brushed away some of my hair that had fallen into my face, "Anon... I am so sorry."

The elevator door opened up, revealing a couple of people waiting in the hall. My face turned red with embarrassment as I pulled away from Arthur. I took his hand and pulled him out of the elevator, past the people and down the hall. I only stopped once we got to Arthur's apartment door. 

I turned and looked at him, "Arthur, don't apologize. I know you can't help with the laughing. I wasn't upset with that..."

He interrupted me, "You're just upset because of something I asked you. Just because I was being nosy. God, I-I really fucked up a nice night."

I was momentarily shocked by his cussing because I couldn't recall him ever cussing before, "You didn't fuck anything up. I did. I am the emotional mess with a fucked up past. Look, maybe one day I will be able to tell you what happened, but right now all you really need to know is that I fucking hate being called Lenora. So, just don't do that and we will be just fine." 

He wasn't really looking at me, he was looking more at my left shoulder, so I moved my body so that my face was directly in front of his eyes. His eyes flicked up at me, so I knew he was looking directly into my eyes. 

I smiled at him to let him know that I was okay, "Arthur, I really did have a fun night with you. We can do it again sometime, right?"

"Of course we can," he gave me a weak smile.

"Good," I fixed the collar of his white shirt that he messed up when he was grabbing at his throat, "okay, Arthur, I am going to get home. You say hi to your mom for me."

I started walking past him, but he grabbed my arm, causing me to stop. "Let me walk you home," he said quietly as he let go of my arm.

I shook my head and let out a small laugh, "I am literally just a few doors down."

"I guess that means I will walk a few doors down with you."

So we walked down the hall together, just a few doors away. When we made it to my door, I turned to Arthur. I looked at him while I thought about what I wanted to say. At first, I wanted to make a joke, but I felt like I probably shouldn't because of the emotionally straining moment we just had. It wasn't a time to joke, so I decided to be very sincere. 

"Arthur, thank you for being a gentleman and walking me home. You go get some rest now, okay? Don't you have work in the morning?"

"Yeah, I have a thing pretty early tomorrow morning," he said with a yawn. "Do you have any plans?"

Seeing him yawn made me yawn, even though I really shouldn't be tired because of that long, unplanned nap I had earlier. 

"I'm sure I'll be hearing from my probation officer about what happened with the counselor today," I huffed in annoyance at the thought of it, "well, I'll see ya sometime tomorrow, okay?" 

I quietly unlocked the door, opened it and walked through into the apartment. Arthur whispered a quiet 'goodnight' to me as I slowly closed the door. I locked the door once I heard him walk away.


	9. Lenora Blake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️There is a section in this chapter that involves the topics of domestic violence and abuse. The start and end of this section will be labeled. The chapter has been written so that you don't necessarily have to read that section if you don't want to.⚠️

***  
Anon's POV:  
***

I woke up to the sound of Sophie's phone ringing and slowly sat up on the couch, rubbing the sleepiness from my eyes. In addition to the ringing, I heard Sophie talking to her daughter in the bathroom. She seemed a little flustered, which meant she was probably running late. 

I yelled out, "Do you want me to answer the phone?" I heard her say 'yes' so I quickly got up from the couch and made my way over to the phone that was hanging on the wall between the living room and the kitchen. "Hello?" My voice was more gruff than I wanted it to be.

"Hello, is Anon there?" I immediately recognized the voice, it was my probation officer - Hal. I knew I was going to hear from him today, but I didn't think it would be this early. I told him that it was me and he went right on to what he called about, "You know why I'm calling, come by my office at 10am."

"O-okay, I'll be there."

"Do not, I repeat, do not be late." He hung up the phone.

I hung up the phone as Sophie came rushing into the kitchen to grab the lunch boxes she prepared for her daughter and herself, "Who was it?"

"It was my probation officer," she shot me a look of concern, "some stuff happened yesterday and we just have to get it resolved."

Sophie was now throwing on her coat, "Well, I hope it goes okay. We can talk about it later tonight." I said a quiet thank you as Sophie took her daughter's hand and left the apartment.

I stood there for a moment as the apartment fell into silence and my thoughts began to race. What exactly was Hal going to do about what happened yesterday? Would he determine that I wasn't cooperating and advise the judge to send me to prison after all? Would I survive at Blackgate? I noticed that the pace of my breathing was beginning to increase, so I walked over to my backpack, found my medication and quickly swallowed down a few pills. As I did that, I caught a whiff of stale cigarettes and just a tad of B.O.. I would definitely need to take a shower before I left.

I went into the bathroom and opened the towel closet; Sophie cleaned out one of the shelves so that I could store my clothes and other personal items there. I didn't have much, so I didn't need lot of space. I collected a clean bra, pair of underwear, socks and the blouse/skirt combo that I got from Sophie for my job searching. I usually just wore pants and a shirt to see Hal, but I thought I would actually try to impress him today since I was most likely in deep shit with him.

I quickly took a shower, got dressed, brushed my teeth, put my hair in a high ponytail and got my backpack ready to go. I decided to go ahead and leave even though it meant I would be super early.

*  
*

It was around 9:30am as I entered the probation office. I checked in with the receptionist and sat down in the waiting area. The local news station was playing on the TV. I wasn't a big fan of watching the news, but I couldn't change the channel and had nothing else to do. I chewed on my fingernails absentmindedly as I watched the news reporter talk about the on-going sanitary issues. 

Eventually the news anchor was back on screen and started talking about Thomas Wayne. He was the king of the rich here in Gotham. There really wasn't anything in Gotham that wasn't marked by the fingerprints of his big business: Wayne Enterprises. As I looked at him on the screen, I started to imagine what it was like to be that powerful and have that much money. Honestly, it was hard to even imagine it. That one man could literally save or destroy Gotham if he wanted to. 

At around 9:55am, Hal finally called me back to his office. He was a short, somewhat heavy set guy with a mustache and balding head. He had the small limp when he walked. Apparently, he used to work at Blackgate, but got hurt pretty bad during one of the riots that happened there. After he recovered from that, he made the switch to be a probation officer instead.

We walked into his small crowded office and took our respective seats. He immediately started searching for something on his desk, most likely my file. He was a decently nice guy, but he was not organized. It always seemed to take him a few minutes to locate files or paperwork during our meetings. I looked around his messy room and saw his many cabinets that had drawers that were left open here and there. His desk was piled with files, papers, pens, and candy wrappers. No wonder he couldn't ever find anything.

Once he found what he was looking for, he looked at me, "So, your counselor is upset with you."

I folded my arms across my chest, "Well, I am pretty upset with her too. I don't want to go back to see her."

He scoffed, "She mentioned something about that."

I unfolded my right arm and held out my hand, in the air in front of me with my palm facing up, as I leaned my body forward a little, "I'm willing to go see anyone else. I just don't want to see her." I waved my hand that was in the air away from me, as if I was pushing the counselor away from the conversation.

"I'll see what we can do about that. Now she mentioned that you were upset because you still haven't found a job."

"Yes and it was-is making me depressed. That is why I have been late to my appointments recently."

"You still off the drugs from your last drug test you took last week?" I told him that I was and he moved his body so that he was facing his desk phone. "I am going to go ahead and schedule another one today, right after our meeting, so you need to head straight there." 

Before I could say anything, he pressed down on a button on his phone and started talking to someone, "Bring my guest to my office, please." Before the person on the other end could say anything, he released the button and stood up from his chair. He pointed a finger at me, "I made a call yesterday and this is going to be a great opportunity. Hardly anyone in your position gets an opportunity like this, so do yourself a favor and don't mess it up."

I didn't have time to respond when the receptionist opened Hal's office door to allow an older woman to walk in. She was a middle-aged woman that was probably somewhere in her fifties. It was kind of hard to tell because even though she did look a little on the older side, she was quite beautiful. She was dressed in obviously expensive business attire and had on even more expensive looking jewelry. Her short, light-blonde hair was styled neatly and she walked with an amazing amount of confidence. She was like a rich business woman from some Hollywood movie. 

She walked over to Hal's desk, shook his hand, then sat down in the chair next to me and sat her purse on the ground. Hal sat down after she did. 

She turned her body towards me and stuck out her hand, "Hello, Anon, my name is Martha Wayne. I am so happy to meet with you today."

My head slightly snapped back and my brows knitted together. My eyes flickered over to the Hal and then back at Martha. I relaxed my brows as I took Martha's hand in mine and shook it. 

As our hands parted, Hal finally decided to explain what was going on, "You see, Anon, Mrs. Wayne is the one that sponsored your stay at the rehab."

Martha quickly interjected, "Please, call me Martha. No need for formalities here." She smiled at both of us.

Hal continued, "After Mrs--Martha decided to sponsor you, she told me to call if you needed anything and she would do all that she could to help. When I talked to your counselor yesterday, I thought that it would be a good time to take her up on that offer."

I looked at Martha in disbelief, "You were the one that sponsored me?"

She was still smiling, "Yes dear, and after speaking with Hal yesterday, I wanted to come to offer you a job at Wayne Enterprises."

My jaw dropped, "What?" She repeated herself, even though she didn't really have to. I heard what she said, but I wasn't willing to believe it. "Why would you give me a job? Why did you sponsor me?" I scoffed, "I am absolutely nobody to you."

Martha looked at me seriously as she grabbed one of my hands in both of her hands, "Actually, Anon, I knew your mother." I raised my eyebrow at her and she continued, "She started working for me when you were just a small thing. She was my assistant, but she really did above and beyond her job title. She helped me so much during that time. She was so smart. I just knew she was going to go places..."

I withdrew my hand from her, because I was starting to worry about where this conversation was going. 

She folded her hands neatly in her lap and continued, "I was volunteering some of my time with the drug court program a few months back and I saw 'Lenora Blake' on some of the court files and I instantly remembered you and your mother, Norah Blake. At that moment, I just knew I had to help you however I could because...," she paused and her smile slowly faded, "I always felt like I let Norah down."

"Let her down? How?" This question slipped past my lips before I even really realized what I was asking, but I immediately regretting asking it.

XXXXXX  
⚠️Start of topics about domestic violence and abuse⚠️  
XXXXXX

"Well, around the time you turned three, or maybe four, years old, she started coming in late to work. At first it was just a few minutes, but it eventually got to where it was an hour or two late. I never made a big deal of it, but I really should have paid attention to how her personality changed. Before, we would talk about life or just random things all of the time. But once she started coming in late, she hardly talked. When she did, she was very short and to the point. Then suddenly, one day she just didn't show up to work at all. I called her at home to check on her and your father, Lenny, answered. It was the first time I ever had any contact with him and he said that your mother just up and left without a word. It was shocking." 

She dug into her fancy black purse and pulled out a tissue paper and dabbed her watering eyes. "It wasn't until years later that they discovered her body and it eventually came to light that he killed her. I heard that he had been abusing her for years, but it got very bad towards the end. After hearing that, I just felt like the most out of touch person on the planet. I had no idea, not an inkling, that something like that was going on in her life."

I looked away from Martha because I could feel the tears building up in my eyes, "Did you ever hear about what he did to me?" My eyes ached from trying to contain the tears and my mouth hurt from trying to keep it from frowning.

Martha's eyes flicked to Hal and then back to me as she slightly shook her head, "No. I only heard that you were placed with a relative after his arrest."

I closed my eyes tightly and slammed closed fists on my knees, "He abused me, in every way possible. Physically, emotionally, sexually," at this point I could no longer hold the tears back. 

The tears rolled down my cheek and fell down, staining my skirt. I moved my hands up to my eyes and wiped away the tears, but they were just replaced by more tears. This was the first time I actually said those words out loud to someone. Before that, everyone I talked to had a 'file' about me, so there was no reason for me to say it. I could never bring myself to say it. I always hoped that I could contain the horrible memories in the dark recesses of my mind and they would eventually disappear. But, no matter what I did, they always seemed to bubble up and leak out. Now that I finally did say it out loud, it was like a dam inside me opened up and everything was starting to spill out. I felt compelled to tell her everything. 

"As long as I can remember, he did nothing but hurt me. After he met my bitch of a step-mother, it just got worse. They went in on the abuse together and they would even let others abuse me. For YEARS this went on until they arrested him for my mother's murder. I was probably 8 or 9 when that happened." At that point, my crying was turning into sobs and I couldn't get the words out anymore. I just sat there sobbing.

I wanted to tell her about how the 'relative' I was placed with wasn't much of an improvement. The physical and sexual abuse stopped, but I was still emotional abused every day. After years of suffering there, Todd and I ran away and lived on the streets because it was better than our home lives. However, I just couldn't say anymore. I was becoming emotionally drained.

XXXXX  
⚠️End of topics about domestic violence and abuse⚠️  
XXXXX

Martha stood up, moved next to where I was sitting, bent her body down, and wrapped her body around mine. She rubbed her hand on top of my head as she hummed, comforting me like I was her own hurt child. We stayed that way for a while, long enough for me to calm my sobbing. When I was finally calm, Martha went back to her seat and grabbed a tissue out of her purse for me. 

As I reached for the tissue, I placed my free hand over half of my face to try and hide my embarrassment, "I'm so sorry Martha, I just... I never talk about that. With anyone."

She shook her head at me, "Do not apologize. I am sorry that those things happened to you and I know I cannot make up for any if it, but I can help you with this. You need a job and I have a job to give you. Will you please accept it?"

I sat there, drying my eyes, still in disbelief that all of this was happening. I was sitting next to Martha Wayne, wife of the most powerful man in Gotham, and she was offering me a job. Not only was she offering me a job, but she knew my mother years ago. I didn't know anyone that knew my mother, besides my father of course. I would actually be able to find out more about my mother, if Martha would be willing to share her memories of her. 

"Yes, of course I do. I need this job. I promise, I'll do my best."

She patted my knee, "If you are anything like your mother, you will do amazingly." She stood up, took my hands and pulled me up to a standing position as well, "Come by Wayne Tower tomorrow at 8am, I will be in the lobby waiting for you so we can get you all set up, okay? Do you know where Wayne Tower is?"

I let out a weak laugh, "The huge tower in the middle of Gotham, yes I know where it is."

She squeezed my hands gently and let out a small laugh. She then turned to Hal, who stood up, and she gave him another hand shake, "Thank you, Hal, for setting this up." After that, she left.

I looked at Hal, "So, that really just happened, right? I'm not having some kind of crazy dream am I?"

Hal sat down in his chair and started messing with some paperwork that he had on his desk, "It really happened. So, take it and run."

"Thank you so much, Hal."

"It's just my job, Anon. Now, make sure you go take that drug test."

As I left Hal's office, all I could think about was telling Arthur the good news.


	10. Aberration

***  
Anon's POV:  
***

I knocked on the door and stood there, waiting for him to answer.

Earlier that day, after I left the probation office, I went to take my drug test - which I passed- and then went back to Sophie's apartment. I ended up taking a nap because I was emotionally exhausted from the conversation that I had with Martha Wayne. 

After I woke up, I was bubbling with positive energy. It felt almost like I was on some sort of high, but it didn't take any drugs for me to get there. I cleaned Sophie's apartment and washed my clothes for work. I still couldn't believe that 'work' meant Wayne Tower and not some shitty diner. When I finished cleaning pretty much every square inch of the apartment, I spent some time daydreaming about what job position I would be assigned with and what it would be like. 

Before I knew it, it was the early evening and I decided to go see Arthur. I was sure that he had to be home and I just couldn't wait any longer to tell him about what happened.

I tapped my feet, trying to be patient, but it had been a couple minutes since I knocked and he still didn't answer. Sure, I still technically had a copy of their apartment key, but I didn't want to be rude and just waltz on in. I knocked again. 

Finally, I heard a small voice coming from behind the door that I just barely heard, " Who is it?" I could tell it was Penny. Maybe Arthur isn't home? I decided to go ahead and use the key to avoid Penny trying to struggle her way to the door.

I cracked the door open just enough to stick my head in, "Penny? Penny, it's me, Anon. Is Arthur home?"

I could hear her a little better now, "No dear, he is working a little late tonight, but he should be home soon. Come in, make yourself comfortable."

Now that she officially invited me in, I opened the door further so I could walk into the room, closed the door behind me, locked it, and made my way to the couch. Penny was sitting in her favorite chair, watching some movie and she was completely absorbed. So, we sat there in silence. 

After a few minutes I reached over and patted the arm of her chair to get her attention, "Have you eaten dinner yet?" She answered 'no', which is what I expected, "Okay, well, let me go ahead and make you something while I wait for Arthur."

"Aren't you a sweet thing," she said, still staring at the TV. I made my way to the kitchen and prepared one of her favorite frozen dinners. As I placed the dinner on a tray table and positioned it in front of her, she looked up at me, "Arthur needs to snatch you up before you find someone else. You would be the perfect wife for him."

I sat back down on the couch and gave her a playful grin, "You are so right, Penny." Her mouth pulled into a smile and then she moved her attention back to the TV.

It wasn't uncommon for Penny to say random, off-the-wall things like this and it usually embarrassed Arthur. So, I just picked up the habit of always agreeing with her, no matter what crazy thing she was saying, just to embarrass him further. 

With this being the first time I have seen Penny in a few weeks, her declining health was suddenly very obvious to me. She seemed even more fragile than the first time I met her, and she looked pretty fragile then. I thought about how hard it must be for Arthur - worrying about her and, at the same time, being the only provider. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad if he could actually get more help for her, but that would cost money. Money that Arthur didn't have.

The movie eventually ended and Penny turned the TV to a different station. We probably sat there watching TV for about an hour before I heard keys jingling at the locked apartment door. There seemed to be a struggle with the lock for a few seconds, I had the same issue with Sophie's lock sometimes, so I quickly ran over to the door to unlock and open it.

Arthur's face lit up as soon as he saw me, "Oh, I didn't---Hello, Anon." He stuck his keys back in his pocket and I moved to the side to allow him room to walk into the apartment. "Hello, Mother," he said, looking at his mom, as he walked in. 

As soon as Penny saw him, she shouted her usual question about the mailbox. Arthur sighed in frustration, "Yes, Mother, I checked. There was no mail." Penny grumbled something and Arthur looked at me, a bit annoyed with what just happened, "She is happy to see me tonight, isn't she?"

I let out a small laugh, "Well, I'm happy to see you."

He blushed as he took off his jacket and threw it on the back of one of the kitchen table chairs, "R-really? Why is that?" He then took off his sweater, leaving him in just his white collared shirt.

"Because you are my friend, Arthur. Duh." I watched him for a second while he unbuttoned a couple of the top buttons on his shirt which revealed some of his chest, "and I have some really amazing news!"

Arthur was about to say something, but then Penny yelled out, "Oh Happy, Murray is coming on!"

Arthur looked at the TV excitedly and then back at me with a huge smile, "Do you watch Murray Franklin's show?"

"No, I haven't seen it before."

"Do you want to watch it with us? I mean, after you tell me the amazing news."

I could tell he was excited about the show and I didn't want him to miss any of it because of me. "No, it's fine. Let's go ahead and watch the show first. Then we can talk about it."

"Are you sure?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. 

I assured him that I was sure and he automatically took my hand and led me over to the couch. As we walked over, he moved his body fluidly, dancing around to the show's intro music that was playing and snapping the fingers, of his free hand, to the beat. Once we made it to the couch, he let go of my hand and I sat down, but he didn't. He stood in place and kept dancing. It seemed to come to him so naturally. I was always too stiff when I tried to dance, not that I really tried to dance all that often because I was afraid of embarrassing myself. 

Once they introduced Murray Franklin and he came onto the screen, Arthur started copying everything that he did. They must of watched this show a lot because Arthur had all of Murray's mannerisms memorized. Penny smiled and laughed at her son as he continued this until the music stopped and Murray started talking.

Arthur sat down and leaned back into the seat of the couch. His left arm rested on the arm of the couch and his right arm was spread out on top if the back of the couch. From where I was sitting, the fingers of Arthur's right hand were almost touching my left shoulder.

Arthur and Penny didn't move their eyes away from the TV while the Murray show was on. During the few commercial breaks, Penny often closed her eyes and rocked in her chair and Arthur would answer my questions about his day at work. However, as soon as Murray came back on, their eyes were glued to the TV again. Well, except Penny, she was starting to lose the battle against 'The Sandman' towards the end of the show. 

I wasn't as invested. It wasn't that I didn't like the show or didn't think it was funny, but my eyes kept wandering over to Arthur. There were times where he let out a laugh, not his painful laugh or whatever laugh he was doing at Pogo's, but a genuine laugh. And it was adorable. I also looked at his fingertips that were almost touching my shoulder and I felt like moving over just a few inches so that they actually would touch me. Or, I also thought about scooting over to the next cushion on the couch, right next to him, so I could lean into him and rest my head on his shoulder. I played both of these scenarios in my head several times, but I didn't have the guts to follow through with either. Part of me wondered why I was even thinking about these things.

Suddenly the outro music of the show began to play. Arthur looked at me and playfully tapped me on my shoulder, sending small shivers down my spine that quickly pulled me from my thoughts, "So, what did you think? Murray is funny, isn't he?"

"Yeah, he is funny. I'll have to start watching it." I bit my lip, feeling a bit embarrassed that I actually spent most of the show looking at Arthur. At least it seemed like he didn't notice.

Arthur lightly scratched the under part of his chin. "I-if you want, you can watch it with me--us. Mother and I always watch it."

I smiled, "If it means I get to hang out with you, that sounds like a plan."

His mouth pulled into a huge smile and he quickly looked over at his mom, almost as if to hide his face from me. She was asleep in her chair. 

"Well," he looked back at me, "let me get Mother to bed and then you can tell me about what happened." As Arthur went over to his mom and started picking her up out of the chair, I asked him if he needed any help. "No, no. You sit there and relax. I'll be right back."

I watched him carry her away to her bedroom. I wasn't sure how skinny Arthur had the strength to carry her. Sure, Penny was a pretty small woman, so she couldn't weigh too much, but still. Sometimes I worried about Arthur because he never seemed to eat, at least, I rarely saw him eat. He was so busy working and taking care of his mother, that he probably hardly thought about himself. Arthur really needed someone to care for him too. He was such a sweet guy, he deserved that much.

I heard the door to Penny's room close and Arthur made his way to his jacket before he returned to the couch. He had his pack of cigarettes and lighter in hand. He sat down on the couch, leaned his back against the arm of the couch and crisscrossed his legs on the couch cushion so that he was facing me completely. He held out a cigarette towards me as if to ask if I wanted it. I shook my head because I felt bad for always bumming them off of him. So, he pulled it back, lit it for himself, set the pack and lighter on the coffee table, and moved the ashtray closer to him. 

He held the cigarette in his mouth as he spoke, "Okay, I'm all ears." He playfully brought his hands up to the back of his ears and forced them to wiggle. Then he rested his right arm on the top of the back of the couch and his left hand took hold of his cigarette.

I decided to mirror his position on the couch so that I was facing him as well, "So, you know how I told you that I would most likely have to see my probation officer today?" He nodded his head. "Well, I did, but you'll never guess who showed up." He gave a few very off-the-wall guesses, but I eventually jumped in with the answer, "It was Martha Wayne!"

"Martha Wayne," he slowly repeated as his eyes jumped around from side to side as if he was looking for the answer inside his mind.

"Martha WAYNE. Like, the wife of Thomas Wayne." He gave me a surprised face. "Crazy, right? But what is crazier is that she is the one that sponsored my stay at rehab and today she offered me a job at Wayne Enterprises! You hear that? I have a job!" 

Before he could say anything, I went on and told him everything that happened and everything that was said - except for the things I said about what my father did. I couldn't delve into that again right now. Once I finished my story, I waited for a response from him.

He sat there for a moment, his brows knitted together in thought, and then made a single clicking noise with his tongue, "So, you are going to work for Thomas Wayne?

"Yeah, I mean, I probably won't work directly for him, but I am going to work at the Wayne Tower."

He was quiet for another minute as he puffed on his cigarette and tapped the ashes into the ashtray. "Are you sure you want to work for him?"

My shoulders dropped as my excitement was suddenly deflated, "Why not?"

Arthur shrugged his shoulders, "He is part of Gotham's rich. They act like they care, but they really don't. Everything they do has an ulterior motive or is just to make themselves feel better. Like, you said so yourself, Martha said she felt bad about what happened to your mother. So, this job she is giving you is just to repair her conscience, not help you."

At first, I didn't know how to respond. I had waited all day to tell Arthur about this because I knew he was going to be happy for me. Well, I thought he would be, but he wasn't. And for some reason, it really hurt.

After I remained silent, he spoke again, "I thought you had the same views about people like Thomas Wayne."

I rolled my eyes and let out a huff, "It isn't about them, Arthur. It's about me. I have been struggling to find a job and I finally got one. And I just thought you would be happy for me." I stood up from the couch, "I gotta go, I have to be up early for my job tomorrow morning. Not that you care."

As I turned on my heels and walked towards the door, I heard Arthur stamp his cigarette out on the ashtray, get up from the couch and trail after me, "Wait, Anon... I-I.."

I ignored him all of the way to the door and as I was unlocking the door, he grabbed my wrist and pulled it towards him and I felt a small sting in my wrist, "Ow, Arthur, stop." 

He quickly let go of my wrist and I looked at him with knitted brows for a few seconds before I went back to unlocking the door. As I successfully unlocked the door and opened it, I heard Arthur clearing his throat and it made me hesitate, but I kept my back towards him. He was surely about to have a laughing fit. Should I stay here and calm him or just leave?

"Anon... I just think... It's a mistake...," he somehow managed to sputter between stifled giggles and sharp inhaling breaths.

My lips pressed into a hard line as I walked out into the hall and slammed his apartment door shut. Surely that would wake up Penny, along with everyone else on this floor, but I didn't care. I made my way to Sophie's apartment as Arthur's horribly, painful laugh filled the background.

***  
Arthur's POV:  
***

In the midst of my uncontrollable laughter, all I could think about was what happened with Anon. I only said what I said because I wanted to protect her. Why didn't she see that? She knows how people like Thomas Wayne are; they are greedy and their greed is why people like us are suffering. But now she was happy to work for him?

My thoughts were interrupted by my lack of oxygen and I struggled to calm myself. As I sat down on the floor and leaned my back against the door, I heard Mother yelling out questions about what was going on, but I couldn't answer her. My eyes began to water and I wasn't sure if it was because of the pain in my lungs or because of the way Anon left.

_My body eventually calmed and I sat there for a while, but I couldn't say exactly how long. When suddenly, my attention was caught by a figure that walked into the room. It was just my mother. She must have decided to come see what was going on since I never answered her, "Happy, what happened?"_

_I wiped at my watery eyes, "I said some things and they upset Anon. She left."_

_She sat down on the floor in front of me with easy movements that she hadn't possessed in a long time, "Happy, smile and put on a happy face for her."_

_"It's probably too late for that, Mother. She probably doesn't want anything to do with me now. Especially now that she has a job at Wayne Tower. She will be surrounded by Gotham's rich. Why would she waste her time with me anymore?"_

_She took my hand and forced it open, with my palm facing up and she placed one of her hands on top of it and I felt something small and cold fall from her hand to mine. She kept her hand on top of mine while she spoke, "Someone special gave this to me years and years ago. I haven't worn it for a while now and it's going to waste in my dusty jewelry box. I don't need it anymore."_

_She moved her hand and it revealed a simple silver necklace with a small, pear-cut diamond. My bottom jaw dropped, "Who gave this to you?"_

_She patted my cheek gently and smiled at me before she got back up into a standing position and walked back to her bedroom._

I sat there in silence as I moved my hand slightly in different directions so that the diamond caught the surrounding lights and shimmered.


	11. Feelings

***  
Anon's POV:  
***

I woke up the next morning very early. If you could actually call it "waking up"; I barely slept last night. I just couldn't shut off my brain. Part of me was excited for the day to come, but the other part of me was anxious. 

_What if I screwed it up? What if I disappointed Martha?_

My thoughts also occasionally wandered to Arthur as well. After thinking about our conversation a few times, I began to see that I overreacted. Arthur wasn't wrong. I did feel the same way as him when it came to Gotham's rich. They were greedy and selfish because even though they had the resources to help the more unfortunate citizens, they didn't. Now, it didn't mean this was true for all of them. There were a few that really did try to help and did make some good changes in Gotham, but these few people couldn't counteract all of the selfish actions of the others. So, could Thomas Wayne do more? Yes, he could. 

However, I needed this job and I was going to take it no matter what. With this job, I would be able to pay Sophie back, move into my own place, and finally have a normal life. Maybe I could even help fight for change in Gotham, but I had to get myself on steady ground before I could even think about doing that. Arthur would just have to understand that, but I knew I needed to go over there and apologize for how I left him last night.

So, I got up and started getting ready to give myself plenty of time to get everything done and get to Wayne Tower a little early. I quickly ate some cereal, took my medicine, showered, dressed in the only professional blouse and skirt that I had, fixed my hair in a high ponytail, and put on some makeup.

I was slipping on my shoes in the living room when Sophie emerged from her room, "Wow, look at you, Miss. Earlybird." She stretched her arms as she made her way to the refrigerator to get some orange juice.

"It is my first day, gotta get there early. I also have to go by Arthur's."

"Going to apologize?" When I came home last night, I told her what happened with Arthur. She was the one that really got me thinking about how I reacted.

I nodded my head and I walked over towards the door. Before I got to the door, I stopped so that I was standing directly in her view, "Do I look like someone that works at Wayne Tower?"

Sophie smirked, "Sorry, girl, not with those clothes." We both laughed. "But hey, you can buy some Wayne Tower-worthy clothes once you get that first paycheck. I hear even their receptionists make bank over there."

I fiddled with the small collar that was on my blouse, "Well, I still have no idea what position they are going to give me." I paused, "I am going to give myself a few weeks to prove my worth to them and then I am going to ask about you getting a job there as well."

Sophie smiled, "That would be great. Thank you." We then said our goodbyes so that I could head out and she could start getting ready for her day.

I unlocked the door and opened it. As I opened it, a tall figure was standing right outside the door and my heart jumped into my throat from the sudden fear that took over me, "Arthur! What in the hell are you doing? You almost gave me a heart attack!" I rested my arm on the door frame and leaned my body against it as my other hand was held up to my chest. My heart was beating wildly.

Arthur's eyes were filled with regret and his mouth curved into a frown, "I'm sorry, Anon, I didn't mean to scare you. I was just about to knock. I was just coming over to..."

I interrupted him, "Wait, wait. Before you say anything, I have something to say." My body was now back to a normal standing position. I pulled back some of loose hair, that was tickling my face, and tucked it behind my ear, "I was actually heading to your apartment just now."

Arthur watched me as I closed the apartment door and then position myself in front of him, "Why?"

I grabbed his left hand with my right hand and looked down at our hands as I spoke, "I'm sorry for the way I reacted last night. I overreacted and shouldn't have been that bent out of shape about the things you were saying. I know that you care about me an--Well, it was just wrong of me to be that way. I'm also sorry for ditching you when I knew you were about to have one of your fits. Do you..." 

Before I could finish my question, I felt the curled index finger of Arthur's right hand come up under the tip of my chin and gently push up, forcing my head to tilt up so that I was looking at his face. His thumb gently rubbed across my chin as he smile sweetly. I was expecting him to say something, but he didn't. He just stood there, with his hand on my chin, staring into my eyes. How could someone be so awkward and sweet at the same time? 

I finally squeezed his hand to try and get some kind of response from him, "Arthur, is everything okay?"

He lightly shook his head as if he was waking himself from a dream, "Let's just forget about last night. I came over here to give this to you, for your first day at work." He released his hand from my chin and reached into his pocket, "stick out your hands." 

I released my hand from his and obeyed his command. When he removed his hand from his pocket, he kept it balled up in a fist. He moved his closed fist above my hands and then slowly opened it so that the item that was in his hand fell down onto mine. I stared at the item and it took me a minute to register what it was because it was definitely the last thing I was expecting to get from Arthur.

I looked up at him, perplexed, "Arthur, what is this?"

He gave a small genuine laugh, "It's a necklace, silly."

I scoffed, "I mean, yeah I know it is a necklace, but what is this for? Where did you get it?" I picked the necklace up and hung it from one of my index fingers so that the small, pear-cut diamond was front and center of my eyesight, "I'm no expert, but this looks like a legit diamond." As the necklace slightly swung in the air, I saw that 'XO' was engraved on the back of the diamond setting.

Arthur put his hands in his pockets, "It is my mother's necklace. She has had it as long as I can remember. She has always told me that someone special gave it to her a long time ago. It is going to waste in her dusty jewelry box, so I thought you could use it. You can wear it to work or wherever."

I placed the necklace back in the palm of my hand as I shook my head, "No, Arthur, I can't accept this. This is way too much. You don't have to give me something just because you want to make up after a small argument."

Arthur pouted his lips, "This has nothing to do with last night. I just-I want you to have it. Please take it, Anon."

"Arthur, won't your mother miss it?"

He shook his head, "Like I said, it has just been sitting in her dusty jewelry box; she hasn't worn it in years."

"If you really want to get rid of it, you could pawn it or sell it so you could get some extra mon--"

He interrupted, "It's not to sell or pawn, it's for you." His voice was lowered and almost came out as a growl. He saw the surprise on my face from his reaction and he quickly cleared his throat to soften his voice, "Anon, please take it. I-I want you to have it"

He stood there fidgeting as he awaited my next response. I knew I couldn't stand here too much longer because I really needed to get to work and it was obvious that he was not going to budge. So going back and forth about it would only make me late for work.

"Okay, I'll take it," I paused. I never received anything like this before, so I felt a little awkward. How do you thank someone for a beautiful diamond necklace? "Th-thank you, Arthur. It really is a pre--beautiful necklace. Can you help me put it on?"

Arthur gleefully nodded his head and took the necklace from my hand. I turned my body around as he worked on unclasping it. He struggled for a bit, probably because the clasp was way too small for his big hands, but he did eventually got it. He lifted the necklace over my head, brought it down so it was around my neck and pulled the ends together at the nape of my neck so he could work on fastening the necklace together again.

I felt his hands pull away, the necklace now hanging naturally on my neck, and I turned back around to face him, "How does it look on me?"

Arthur lifted his hand to the diamond, which hung directly in the center of my chest. I guess the diamond was twisted so that was facing the wrong way because I felt him pinch and roll the diamond between his thumb and index finger. As he did this, I felt the warm skin of his fingertips touch my chest. A shiver traveled down my back and I found myself hoping it would happen again. Once the diamond was facing how he wanted it, he lightly rubbed the diamond with his thumb. Again, when I felt his touch, there was another shiver and I internally asked him to do it again.

To my dismay, he pulled his hand away, "The diamond was pretty before, but it's beautiful now that you're wearing it."

I felt my face blush at his words. Did he seriously just say that the diamond was beautiful because of me? Wasn't it the other way around? The more I thought about his comment, the more I realized how amazingly sweet it was. A warmness moved through my chest as my heart began to flutter. Why was this man treating me this way and why were his touches beginning to affect me in the way that they were?

The last person to make me feel this way was Todd and, even then, he was never as sweet to me as Arthur has been. Todd never gave me jewelry and told me that I made the jewelry beautiful, but Arthur did. Then again, my relationship with Todd wasn't healthy. It grew from a negative place of codependency and drugs. We both had crappy home lives and, to try and make up for it, we helped each other basically drown in drugs. When I was with Todd, it wasn't Todd that made me happy...it was the drugs. But with Arthur, I had an actual friendship and that is what brought me happiness - no drugs needed. This is what healthy relationships are built from. Maybe I was lying to myself when I told the counselor that I didn't have feelings for Arthur.

I finally pulled myself from my thoughts and smiled at him, "Arthur, you're so sweet. Thank you." 

I took a step towards him so that there was barely any space between us. He looked down at me and some of his hair fell in front of his left eye, so I reached up with my right hand and tucked the hair behind his ear. I rested my right arm on his shoulder as I brought up my left arm, rested it on his other shoulder and locked my hands together at the nape of his neck. I gently pulled his body towards me to embrace him in a hug. I stood up on my tiptoes and rested my head against his collarbone, looking outwards. For a moment, Arthur's arms stayed firmly at his sides, as if he didn't know what to do. Surely he has hugged someone before? His mother at least? I gently squeezed my arms around his neck. Then, finally, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me even closer to him.

Being this close to him, I could smell a mix of cologne with the cigarette smoke and I liked it. I closed my eyes and enjoyed our closeness. I didn't realize until now that my body was starved of this kind of physical touch and the thought of pulling away made my heart sink. As much as I didn't want to leave, I had to.

I pulled away from our hug, his hands stayed on my waist as long as they possibly could until I was out of his reach. "I really have to get to work."

He gave me a face of disappointment, but he slowly forced a small smile, "I-I know."

I ran my hands down my blouse to remove the wrinkles that were created from our hug, "I'll see you tonight." Suddenly, an idea clicked I my head, "How about I come over and make some dinner?" Honestly, I didn't know how to cook much, but Sophie had been helping me learn a few things.

Arthur's smile widened, "I would lo--like that."

"Okay, so it's a date. I'll see you tonight." And with that, I headed off to Wayne Tower.

***  
Arthur's POV:  
***

Anon walked out of sight and my smile twisted with disappointment. I didn't want her to leave. I just wanted her arms around my neck and my arms around her waist again. At least the sweet scent from her hair still clung to my nostrils. I closed my eyes to imagine that she was still there and I could see her there, in my mind.

I took one of her hands in mine and placed the other one on her waist. Music suddenly began to play and we started to dance across the hall. The more we danced and the closer we made it to my apartment door, the weaker the scent became, until it was gone. I opened my eyes and she was gone, all I saw was the door to my apartment. 

_Damn it._

As I entered my apartment, I thought about to night to come. She was going to come over to make dinner. She said 'it's a date', so did she mean like an actual date-date? There was a chance that she did, wasn't there? I saw her, in the corner of my eye, looking at me a few times last night when we were watching the Murray show. Then today, she held my hand again and she hugged me. God, her hug made the nerves in my body come alive as they sent their microscopic shocks of electricity to each other, up my spine, and into my brain. Sometimes I wondered if I really was alive, but the way she made me feel when she hugged me just proved that I was. I needed that again.

I looked around the apartment and never really noticed how messy and dingy it was. I never really had a reason to notice. It was always just me and my mother. Sure, Anon has seen my apartment before, but now I suddenly had this overwhelming feeling that one thing, even a minuscule thing, could make her see that being involved with me was a mistake. So, I decided to do what I could to tidy up the apartment as much as I could before I headed to work myself.


	12. First Day

***  
Anon's POV:  
***

I stood in front of Wayne Tower and looked up as far as I could until it felt like I was going to fall backwards. This has to be one of the tallest buildings in Gotham, if not the tallest. I looked back down at the glass entrance doors and took a deep breath. I can do this. I stood up straight and started walking towards the entrance, but I could feel my anxiety rising with each step. The confident steps I started out with turned sheepish and I almost felt like turning back and going home. I probably would have if I hadn't been crowded around by a lot of other people that were also entering Wayne Tower.

Once I made it into the building, I stopped where I was and looked around for Martha; she said she would be waiting in the lobby for me. I scanned the lobby for about 30 seconds before I saw her. She waved and started walking up to me. She looked just as professional and beautiful as she did yesterday. 

Once she was close enough to me, she gave me a quick hug, "Anon, dear, you are early! That is just great!" Before I could say anything, she took a few steps towards some elevators that weren't too far off and waved her hand for me to follow her, "I have a meeting soon, so let's go ahead and get your paperwork done with Thomas and then get you settled in."

We did a little bit of small talk as we rode the elevator up to Thomas' office. It was nice to actually ride in an elevator that didn't shake or jolt to a stop. This elevator also traveled pretty fast, so we got up to the top in no time. If it had been anything like the elevator at the apartments, we would have been standing there for hours.

Once we got out of the elevator, we walked out into an open area. On the other side of this open area was a huge reception desk, which we walked up to. Once we got to the desk, I looked right and left of the desk. To the right, there were several rooms that were separated by glass panels instead of walls. There were various people sitting at various desks. All of them were on the phone or writing something down. I even saw one room were there were several people sitting down and talking, probably having some important meeting. To the left, there was just a wall with a huge double doors that most likely lead to Thomas' office.

The receptionist that sat at the desk was just as professional and beautiful as Martha, but she seemed to be around my age, maybe just a few years older. She had shoulder-length, black hair with soft curls and her brown eyes had caramel spots that lit up as she stood up to greeted Martha, "Hello, Mrs. Wayne. Is this Lenora?" She looked at me and smiled sweetly. 

Martha nodded her head, "Yes, but please call her Anon. It is her nickname that she prefers. Anon, this is Elizabeth, she is Thomas' personal receptionist and she also supervises all of the receptionists here in Wayne Tower. So, she will be the one you actually report to." 

I gave Elizabeth a friendly greeting as I internally thanked Martha for being so thoughtful about my name. I assumed that they would make me go by my real name since this was such a serious place of business.

"Welcome aboard, Anon. Mr. Wayne is waiting for you. Do you need me to show her the way, Mrs. Wayne?"

"No, I need to talk to Thomas about something, so I will take Anon back there myself," Martha turned her head to me, "let's go on in."

We headed to the left side of the desk and entered the double doors. As I expected, this lead us into Thomas' huge office. The right wall was made into a huge bookshelf that was completely filled with books. There was a big rectangle table stationed in the right side of the room, probably where they held meetings in his office if he wanted. The left wall was covered with paintings and other decor. He had a few lounge chairs and a sofa located on that side of the room, probably so he could relax when he found the time. Of course, opposite of the room from where we stood, Thomas was sitting at his huge desk. The wall behind him was made up completely of windows and you could see all of Gotham behind him.

He heard us, looked up from his work and smiled, "Darling!"

Martha put her hand on my back and gently pushed me forward as she walked towards her husband, "Hello, my love. This is Anon, the one I was telling you about. The one I offered the job to." He looked at her like he had no idea what she was talking about. "The paperwork says Lenora, but she goes by Anon."

Thomas looked down at the paperwork that he had been working on and then looked at me, "Oh, I see. Yes, the name threw me," he stood up and stuck out his hand, "Anon, my name is Thomas Wayne. I am pleased to meet you."

I took his hand and shook it, "Likewise, Mr. Wayne. Thank you for the job." I really had no idea what else to say, his presence was kind of intimidating.

"Martha said it was very important to her that we make this work, so we will," he flipped the paperwork over on the desk so that I could look at it and he handed me a pen, "there are several places that are highlighted. Please sign those." As I flipped to each page, he explained what they were for and why I was signing them. Once I signed everything, he gathered the paperwork and put it in a manila folder. "So, we will be setting you up as a receptionist for this new department we just put together. They---"

Martha interrupted as she gently took the folder from him, "Actually, Thomas, I wanted to talk to you about her placement. I do have faith in Anon's ability to learn quickly, but she doesn't yet have much experience with being a receptionist. To correct that, I thought she could shadow Elizabeth this week, just to get the hang of it. I'm sure she will get it down quickly and then she can start in her actual placement next week."

Thomas sat down, "Whatever you think is best," his phone started ringing and he placed his hand on the phone, "I'll see you around, Anon." He picked up the phone and started talking to whoever was on the other line.

I followed Martha back to Elizabeth's desk and Martha handed the manila folder to her, "Elizabeth, please get all of this filed so we can get Anon on the payroll. Oh, and Anon will shadow you for this week just to get her feet wet. Then next week, we will send her to the actual department she will be working in. Is that okay for you?"

Elizabeth was organizing the paperwork from the folder, "Of course, Mrs. Wayne, sounds like a great idea to me."

Martha turned to me as she reached for something in her purse, "Okay, so just come up here and check in with Elizabeth every morning for the rest of the week." She finally pulled out her wallet and pulled some money out, "Pay day won't be until 2 weeks from Friday, so here is something so you can get a few extra outfits and whatever else you need until then." She held out $300.

My bottom jaw dropped, "Martha, no, I can't take your money. You have already done so much for me."

Martha gently took my hand and placed the money inside of it, "I won't take 'no' for an answer." She withdrew her hand and gathered her wallet and purse, "I need to get to that meeting. Elizabeth will show you the ropes and should be able to answer any and all questions you have. If not, she will get with me at some point and we can make sure we get everything answered for you. I want this to work, so as long as you put forth the effort we will help in anyway we can." She said her goodbyes to us and rushed off to whatever meeting she had.

Elizabeth pulled up a chair behind her's so I could sit with her and she could show me everything that she did as a receptionist on a day-to-day basis.

*  
*

Later that day, around 2pm, Elizabeth and I were busy with work. We had already taken our lunch breaks and she was still showing me things and answering my questions.

At one point she got a call from the front desk that was stationed in the lobby on the 1st floor, "Oh, really? Okay, let me ask Anon. Hold, please," she put the phone on hold and turned to me, "apparently there is a guy down in the lobby asking for you. His name is Arthur Fleck." At first, I gave her a look of confusion. She looked at me with concern, "Should I tell her that you don't know him?"

My body slightly jumped up as I responded, "Oh no, don't say that. I do know him. He is my friend. I just-I wasn't expecting him to be here." I looked around nervously, "Is it okay if I go down to talk to him really quick. It will just be one minute." However, I automatically felt like I made a mistake by asking her this. Here I was, in the second half of my first day, already asking for an unsanctioned break.

Even though I was expecting a negative response from Elizabeth, she just smile, "Of course you can, but don't be too long."

I assured her again that it would be quick and I rushed to the elevator and traveled down to the 1st floor. Once I exited the elevator, I saw Arthur sitting in a chair close to the receptionist desk. He stood up, smiling, as soon as he saw me and we both walked forward, meeting each other half way. He quickly wrapped me in a hug before I could say anything to him. I wasn't exactly expecting the hug, but I gently hugged him back. 

The hug was quick and once we pulled away from each other, I spoke, "Arthur, what's up? Why are you here? Is everything okay?"

He ran one of his hands through his brown hair, brushing it back, "I was just heading in to work---I just wanted to see how your day was going so far."

I shook my head in playful disbelief, "Arthur, Ha Ha's isn't anywhere near here. Why would you do that?"

He gave me a shy smile and shrugged his shoulders, "I just couldn't wai---" he cleared his throat, but didn't finish his thought.

"Well, I am happy you came by, Arthur, but I have to get back to work. I'll see you tonight."

"For our," he seemed to struggle with letting the last word escape from his mouth, "date?"

"Date?" I bit my lip to try and keep a surprised and confused look from taking over my face.

His eyes quickly broke contact with mine, "Y-yeah. You said, 'it's a date'." He nervously rubbed his left arm with his right hand, "Did I--I mean, if you you didn't... I'm sorry." His shoulders slumped over the more he struggled with what he was trying to say. I could tell he was embarrassed and I knew what typically happened when he felt embarrassed.

I quickly cupped his face in my hands and forced him to look at me, "You're right. I'm sorry, I just forgot that I said that, but you're right. I'll see you tonight, for our date, okay?" I pulled my hands away from him and smiled. 

I honestly did forget, for a moment, that I worded it that way. And now I just jumped in and confirmed that it was a date. A part of me, in the back of my mind, was worried. I mean, there was definitely something going on between Arthur and me, it was getting hard to deny it. However, I was still worried about how it would work out. It was obvious that both of us were still working through certain things. Would a relationship be a good thing for us to try at this point? 

His embarrassment melted away into happiness and he nodded his head. I took a few steps back, "Okay, I really have to get back to work. Bye, Arthur."

"See you later, Anon." He waved as I turned around and headed back to the elevator.


	13. Our Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 💟A little bit of fluff.💟

***  
Anon's POV:  
***

I set all of my bags on the kitchen table and huffed from the exhaustion of having to carry them so far. After I got off work, I went and bought myself some new "Wayne Tower-worthy" clothing and groceries. I separated the groceries, some were to replace Sophie's food that I had been eating and the rest were for dinner at Arthur's tonight. I decided on spaghetti because it was the easiest thing to make out of the very few things I knew how to make. I put the groceries where they needed to go and then decided to get cleaned up and changed for tonight.

Since I did tell Arthur it was a date, I decided to actually dress up. I bought a simple, but pretty, dark green dress. Nothing too crazy. I touched up my make-up, let my hair down out of the ponytail, and sprayed on some perfume. Once I was done getting ready, I studied myself in the mirror for a while. I was seriously about to go on a date. With Arthur. My cheeks turned red and I felt butterflies in my stomach as I gently touched the necklace that he gave me. 

_This is crazy. How is tonight going to go? How is this going to affect our friendship? I needed to stop thinking so much and just go ahead and go over there._

As I walked out of the bathroom, Sophie and her daughter walked into the apartment. Sophie looked me up and down with surprise, "Anon, you look pretty. Did you already meet someone at work today?"

I gave her an awkward laugh as I gathered the groceries I needed for tonight, "No, actually, I'm cooking dinner. Over at Arthur's."

She raised an eyebrow at me, "Oh, really? Is it a date or..." I nodded my head and waited for her to say something else, which took a minute, "You will have to tell me how that goes." 

I flinched at the way she said it, like she expected it to go bad. I almost asked her why she said that, but I decided to just tell her goodnight as I gathered my things and then headed over to Arthur's.

I knocked on his door and ran my hands down the skirt of my dress. It didn't take long for Arthur to open the door. He was wearing dark blue pants and his usual white, collared shirt. He had the sleeves rolled up to right below his elbow. His hair was brushed back neatly and I could actually smell his cologne over the smoke. 

"Hello," he looked me up and down, "Anon, you loo--you... Is that a new dress?"

"Yes, I bought it especially for tonight. I brought stuff to make spaghetti, I hope that is okay." I smiled and held up the bags I had in my hands.

He jerked his body forward and took the bags from me, "Let me get those for you." 

He moved to the side so I could walk in and I automatically made my way to the kitchen. I started looking around the cabinets, to find the pots and pans I needed to start the spaghetti, and Arthur started taking the groceries out of the bags and setting them on the kitchen counter.

"Is your mom going to join us for dinner?"

I saw him, in the corner of my eye, look at his mother's room and then go back to his task at hand, "She is already in bed asleep. She was having a bad day today."

"Oh, I see. Well, hopefully tomorrow will be a good day for her."

When I finally started cooking, I tried to get Arthur to sit down and relax since I was the one that offered to make dinner, but he was adamant about helping. So we worked as a team. He actually seemed to be pretty comfortable in the kitchen, even though I never really saw him cook all that much.

Once dinner was ready, we placed all of the food on the kitchen table and sat down. Arthur was, of course, a gentleman and pulled a chair out for me and pushed it in a bit as I sat down. Then he took the seat directly across from me and we started eating.

For a while, we ate silently until Arthur finally broke the silence, "So, how was your first day at Wayne Tower?" 

It was a serious question, but I noticed the very slight feeling of distaste he had when he mentioned Wayne Tower. He gave me a huge smile, probably trying to compensate for his negative feelings about my job.

"It was good. Martha introduced me to this woman named Elizabeth, who is actually my supervisor. She is really nice." I paused for a few seconds, "And I met Thomas Wayne." I noticed Arthur roll his shoulders after my last sentence.

He went on to ask me other questions, like what I was going to be doing at Wayne Tower, more specifics about my first day, and what I did after work. I tried to talk about him and his day, but he always ended up changing the subject back to me. Soon, I realized that I was doing most of the talking and he was just listening to me while he twirled his fork in the spaghetti. 

"Arthur, are you eating? It looks like your just playing with your food," I playfully scolded him.

"I'm eating," he took a bite and shot me a playful smile "see? Yummy." He put his fork down, "I am getting full though."

I shook my head at him, "Oh, Arthur."

He leaned in towards me, supporting himself with his elbows on the table and his hands under his chin, as I continued to eat, "So, what do you want to do after you eat?"

I clinked my fork against the plate a couple times as I thought about it and looked at the clock, "Well, I can't stay up too late."

He nodded his head, "Okay, well, do you just want to watch some TV?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "Sure, that sounds good," I took one more bite, "okay, I'm done."

He stood up and gathered our plates, "Go ahead and find something to watch. I'll put all of this up."

I thanked him as I made my way to the couch, sitting at the end so I could rest my left arm on the arm of the couch. I grabbed the remote and started clicking through the channels. In between searching for something to watch, I scanned the apartment. It looked a little bit more tidy than it normally was. I smiled at the thought of Arthur cleaning the apartment for tonight; he was really trying his best to put on a good impression for tonight. Though, he really didn't need to do all of that.

As I settled on a channel, Arthur came over to the couch and was looking down at me. He seemed conflicted on actually taking a seat or not. I smiled at him and patted the cushion of the couch, right next to where I was sitting. He gave me a shy smile and took his seat next to me. At first, his left arm was placed at his side, between us. I felt his arm twitch a couple of times, but he eventually raised his arm up and rested it on the couch behind my shoulders.

I kept my eyes on the TV, but my mind was thinking about what I should do or say next. Should I just sit here and watch TV until I'm ready to go home? Should I try to spark some kind of meaningful conversation with Arthur? Was he expecting certain things to happen during this date? I was completely lost on what to do.

Apparently, I didn't need to worry about what to do next because I felt Arthur turn his head towards me as he ran his fingertips against my left arm, which tickled, "You know, earlier, when I asked you about the dress? I didn't really want to ask about the dress. I wanted to say something else."

I looked at him with curiosity, "What did you want to say?"

His left leg began to bounce with anxiety, so I placed my hand on his knee to try and calm him, "I wanted to say that...you're beautiful." I looked away from him because I was embarrassed by his words. I kept my gaze averted from him until I felt him place his hand on top of my hand that was still on his knee, "I'm sorry, s-should I have not said that?"

"Don't apologize, silly. That was a very sweet thing to say. I just don't take compliments very well."

"Why?"

"Because," I looked at the TV, "I just never got a lot of compliments growing up and I don't feel worthy of them when I get them now. They just feel so foreign to me."

Arthur lifted his hand from mine, took my chin in his thumb and index finger, and gently turned my head so I was facing him again. I felt his other hand press onto my left arm, causing my body to move a little closer to him. 

He looked into my eyes, "I guess I'll just have to give you compliments every day so they won't be so foreign to you." He let go of my chin and placed his hand back where it had been before; his face was so serious, "Anon, you are beautiful."

I felt the butterflies invade my stomach again. My eyes scanned his face as I studied his features more so than I ever did before. He had beautiful bluish-green eyes that were so calming. Yes, his face was creased from stress and worry, but it didn't take away from the fact that he was handsome. Maybe someone could help him not be so stressed and not so worried all the time. Maybe that person was me? 

Then my eyes focused on his lips. I played a scenario in my head as I turned my hand, that was on his knee, so that our hands were palm to palm and I laced my fingers with his. For a moment, we just sat there, until I couldn't help it anymore; I had to play out the scenario. I slowly leaned towards him and kissed him on the lips. It was just a small, simple kiss that lasted for only a second, but it was a kiss. 

I pulled back to check his reaction; he looked surprised by what just happened. He pulled his body away from mine so that his hand was no longer entwined with mine and his arm was no longer around my shoulders. At first, I thought I upset him and I tensed up; I could feel my heartbeat in my ears.

"Did you mean to do that?" His voice was in disbelief.

My body relaxed a little and I let out a giggle, "Yes, silly."

His surprised look turned into relief. His mouth parted, as if to say something, but nothing came out. I could see he was struggling with his thoughts. He eventually let out a small sigh of frustration, "There is so much I want to say," a giggle slipped from throat, "but I..." He cleared his throat.

I turned my body completely towards him on the couch, "Maybe, instead of using words, just show me."

He turned towards me completely as well, but he looked around nervously, avoiding my gaze. His fingers fiddled with a piece of fabric that was torn on the couch cushion. Finally, with a shy voice he asked, "Can I...kiss you again?"

My heart skipped a beat at his question and I nodded my head in response. He finally met his gaze with mine, placed his right hand on my left jawline, gently pulled me towards him and presses his lips onto mine. His kiss was a little deeper than mine and I felt myself melt into him. I wrapped my arms around the nape of his neck, pulling him even closer. He dropped his hand from my face and placed both of his hands on my waist. We started the pattern of back and forth, our kisses getting a little deeper each time. 

For a few minutes, the sounds of the TV were drowned out by the sounds of our lips moving against each other. At one point, I felt his smile against my lips as he pressed his fingertips firmly onto my waist. He was just as physically starved as I was. It was evident that both of us really did need this. It didn't take too long before I started kissing him roughly and he worked on matching my intensity. I could hear his deep breaths between our kisses and it excited me even more.

I had an urge to push things further; I wanted to slip my tongue into our kiss and taste him. But as soon as I felt that urge, I pulled away. Arthur's shoulder slumped over and his eyes nervously flicked from me to the floor. 

He was about to say something, but I jumped in before he could, "I'm sorry, Arthur, we should stop. Nothing was wrong with what just happened, but I don't want to push this," I motioned my hands between the two of us, "too fast. I don't want to ruin it. I hope you understand."

He took one of my hands in his and rubbed his thumb across the top of it, "I-I understand." I could tell he was disappointed, but he was being sweet and going along with my wish. "But please don't leave just yet. Can we just watch TV together for a bit?"

I smiled at him to hide my embarrassment, "Of course we can."

We adjusted ourselves back to our original sitting positions, except this time I leaned into Arthur, resting my head on his shoulder, and he rested his head on top of mine.


	14. The Gun

***  
Anon's POV  
***

I walked into Wayne Tower feeling some of the same anxiety that I felt during my first day. Today was my first day on my own as the receptionist of the department I had been assigned to, but thankfully I did have some confidence from shadowing Elizabeth last week to combat some of my anxiety this time around. Most of my anxiety probably stemmed from the fact that I would finally be meeting the people I would be working with every day from here on out.

When I walked into the lobby, Elizabeth was waiting for me, "Hello, Anon! Are you ready to see the department you will be working for?!" 

I gave her my best excited tone and told her that I was, as I gave her a thumbs up. We walked to the elevators and, as we entered one, she pressed the '32' button and the elevator started its journey up. She told me exactly what the department was created for and what the guys, that worked in the department, typically did day-to-day.

When we made it to the correct floor, we walked down a few hallways, passing by many different doors. We finally made it to a door that Elizabeth opened, which lead to a huge room. Around the room, there were additional doors that lead to different offices for several different departments. There was a desk in front of each door for the receptionists for each department. All of the desks were filled by women that were typing on typewriters or talking their phones. The place hummed with different noises, like a busy beehive. 

Elizabeth led me to one bare desk that only had a typewriter and a phone and stuck her hand out towards it, "This is your desk." 

She moved over to the door and knocked. We heard a loud, 'come in', and she opened the door. We both walked in and I looked around. The room wasn't huge, but there were three desks placed along the walls in the room. There was a man sitting at each desk and all three stopped what they were doing, turned towards us, and stared.

Elizabeth smiled, "Gentlemen, this is Anon, your new receptionist." She looked at me as she pointed at the men individually, "Anon, this is Johnny, Andrew and Nicholas."

All three were dressed dashingly; they did work for Wayne Enterprises, so it was basically a requirement. Nicholas had short, dirty-blonde hair. Andrew had a little more weight to him than the others and had dark, curly hair. Johnny had his dark hair slicked back.

"Hello, I am happy to meet you guys. I am excited to help this department."

Nicholas smirked, "Yeah, well, you will mostly be helping Johnny and Andrew. I got my shit together."

Andrew playfully threw a paperclip at Nicholas, "Oh, shut the fuck up."

Elizabeth playfully scolded them, "Okay, guys, not a great first impression for your new receptionist."

I giggled and made a comment, mainly towards Elizabeth, "It's fine, I have been around much worse." 

I noticed that Johnny, the one that hadn't spoken up yet, was just staring at me. I shifted my body to try and avoid his stare, without being obvious about it.

Elizabeth laughed at my comment, "Well, I will let you all get acquainted. You fellows be nice to Anon and Anon, if you need anything, feel free to call me."

"Aw, Beth, leaving so soon? Why don't ya hang out down here with us for a bit?" Nicholas' voice was almost begging. Elizabeth just shook her head, while she gave him a smile, and then left the room.

I awkwardly stood there as the three men turned back to their work. They didn't seem very interested to get acquainted. After a moment, I decided to ask, "Is there anything you guys need right now?"

Johnny pointed a finger up in the air, "Yeah, sweets, I'll take a coffee. Black." 

My lips pressed into a hard line. _Sweets?_ He didn't even look at me. They sounded like the guys Sophie worked with. I was starting to wonder how it was going to be, working for these guys if they were going to act like this, but I quickly pushed the thought aside. _Be positive._

I took a deep breath, "Okay, sir, I'll get that right to you."

***  
Arthur's POV:  
***

I held my hand tightly onto the dumpster as I stomped on a random bag of garbage in the alleyway right next to Ha Ha's. I stomped and stomped until I felt a pain jolt up in my leg, making me fall to the ground. I grabbed my leg and attempted to rub the pain away, as if that really helped.

I was frustrated because Hoyt was blaming me, once again, for a business sign going missing. I tried explaining that the same kids, that attacked me last time, stole my sign again. But this time, I didn't try to chase after them to get the sign back. I wasn't going to allow myself to be attacked again over some stupid sign. However, Hoyt wasn't listening to me. He seemed to think that I was getting some kind of satisfaction by taking the signs home and not returning them. Why would he think that? I was a good employee that did my job and hardly ever missed work. I wondered if it had to do with the fact that my coworkers were always telling Hoyt behind my back that I was 'weird' and 'different'.

I was about to head home, but I remembered that I was still wearing my clown outfit and I left my regular clothes in my locker. So, with a limp in my step, I headed back into Ha Ha's.

As I walked to my locker, I tried to avoid eye contact with Randall, but that didn't stop him from coming up to me, "Heard Hoyt yelling at you, Arthur. What's up?" He made it sound like he actually cared.

"Kids stole my sign again, but Hoyt doesn't believe me."

Randall made a clicking noise with his tongue, "Oh, Arthur. You can't let those little shits take advantage of you. I mean, they are only kids," his voice was so condescending, "and you have a little girl you play with now, right? What happens if you have to protect her from an actual man? What are you going to do, Arthur? I ask this only because I do truly care."

I looked away and rolled my eyes. I just wanted him to stop talking. After a minute of silence, he held a brown paper sack near my head and I turned towards it, "What is it?"

He jiggled the sack, "It's a ham sandwich. Just take it."

My brows knitted together as I took the sack from him and looked inside. When I saw what it was, my eyes widened with surprise and I quickly looked over my shoulder. When I saw no one else was paying attention to us, I whispered, "Randall, we aren't supposed to have a gun with us on the job."

Randall chuckled at my concern, "Sshhh, they won't know unless you tell them. You gotta do something to protect yourself...and your little dolly too."

I thought about what he was saying, even though it was erking me that he kept using pet names for Anon, "Even if I did want this, I don't have the money to pay you for it."

"Let's just say you owe me. Man, what would you do without me, Arthur?" He laughed as he walked off, most likely to get ready for a job.

I looked around the room one more time before I put the brown sack into my bag with my clothes and then hurried out.

***  
Anon's POV:  
***

I knocked on Arthur's door after getting back to the apartment complex after work. 

This had become a part of our normal schedule ever since our date last week. I came in from work and automatically went to Arthur's apartment. Sometimes he would already be home and sometimes he wasn't. If he wasn't home, I took care of Penny while I waited for him. Once he did come home we would eat dinner, I was determined to get him to gain some weight, and then watch TV or play some card games. However, we always ended the nights the same way - a make-out session on the couch. It was funny to me how much of a teenager he acted about it; he was always chomping at the bit to get to it once his mother went to bed.

He didn't answer the door, so I went ahead and let myself in. I saw Penny was asleep in her chair, with some eaten food on a tray table in front of her. I looked around to see if Arthur happened to be inside, but I didn't see him. Penny must have been feeling well enough today to get her own dinner. I stood there for a moment, deciding on what to do. I looked at the clock and yawned; I really was feeling tired from my day. The guys had me running around doing a lot of things and I was still trying to get use to everything, so I was mentally worn. 

I decided to go ahead and head home to Sophie's apartment and relax. I was sure he would come looking for me whenever he did get home.

*  
*

**BANG!!!!!**

I jerked myself up from the couch. _What the fuck was that?_

Sophie came running into the living room and flipped on the lights, "What was that?"

I shook my head, "I have no idea." Then, suddenly, my mind rushed to Arthur, "Shit, I hope Arthur is okay. I'm going to go check on him."

Sophie followed me to the door, "Are you sure you should do that? We don't know what that was or where it came from. You could be walking right into the middle of it."

Her concerns were useless because I wasn't listening to her. I cracked the apartment door open and peaked outside in the hall. Everything was still. I left Sophie's apartment, quietly ran over to Arthur's apartment and knocked hard on the door. As I waited, I heard the TV from behind the door. It was turned up so high that I could make out what was being said. I knocked hard again and, after a moment, the volume of the TV was finally turned down and I heard footsteps head towards the door.

Arthur opened the door wide and he seemed fine, besides a few nervous jitters. He had a cigarette in his mouth and was only wearing some baggy pajama pants. This was the first time I had seen him completely shirtless; while he was skinny, I was still excited to see so much skin. I wanted to put my hands on his warm chest, but I resisted. I was still freaked out by the loud noise.

"Anon, what's up? Come on in." He seemed a little too casual for what just happened. As I walked in, he continued, "I went by Sophie's when I got home and she said you were already asleep.

"Something woke me up. Did you not hear that noise? It sounded like a gun shot," I paced across the floor several times, "I thought something happened to you."

He closed the door and let out a nervous laugh as he took the cigarette from his mouth, holding it gently between his index and middle fingers. He walked over to me, stopped me from pacing and pulled me so that I was standing in front of him. 

"I'm fine, Anon." 

He leaned down and placed a kiss on my lips. He moved his hands to my waist, careful not to touch me with the cigarette, and pulled me a little closer. I knew he wanted me to kiss back, but I was not in the mood.

I pulled away from him, "Seriously, Arthur, what was that noise? It sounded so close. It's freaking me out."

For a split second, I saw his eyes flick over to the coffee table and then back to me, "I don't know, but both of us are okay. Isn't that all that matters? Don't worry about it."

My eyes looked over to the coffee table and something caught my eye. I looked back at Arthur with a raised eyebrow and he looked like he had just been caught. I walked over to the coffee table to get a better look and I saw it - a gun. 

I reached out for it, but then stopped and turned back to Arthur, "Why do you have a gun? Is that what the noise was?"

At first, Arthur didn't say anything. He just stuck his cigarette back in his mouth and puffed on it a few times, obviously thinking about how he was going to address my questions. Finally he walked up to me, grabbed my hands and sat down on the couch, pulling me down with him. 

"Yes, I was messing with the gun and accidentally shot it at the wall over there," he took one of his hands and pointed at the wall before he took the cigarette from his mouth and smothered it into the ashtray.

I looked over where he pointed and saw the small hole in the wall. I looked back at him, "Arthur, why do you have a gun? How did you get it?"

He kept his voice low for some reason, as if someone would hear us, "From Randall, a guy I work with. I got it because I need to be able to protect you. In case anyone..." He didn't finish his thought.

I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close, "That is sweet, but I think the gun is a bit extreme," I paused, "I mean, that scared the shit out of me." 

He wrapped his arms around me, as he whispered an apology, and we held each other for a moment. His skin was just as warm as I imagined it was and it was comforting. As we sat there, I looked at the gun on the coffee table. My eyes slowly scanned the rest of the coffee table and I saw Arthur's journal. It was opened and both pages were covered in messy writing. However, one section caught my eye and I couldn't stop myself from reading it:

_**"I just hope my death makes more cents than my life."** _

I quickly pushed Arthur from me and took his journal in my hand and read it again.

"Anon, what are you..." I stuck the journal in front of his face, before he could finish his question, and pointed at the section of writing. He read it and pushed the journal away from him, "It's a joke, Anon." He seemed annoyed.

I stared at him in disbelief for a second, "I can't accept that. You, all of a sudden, have a gun and 'accidentally' shoot at the wall. You then try to lie about not knowing where the noise came from and, once you are caught, you tell me the gun is to protect me. But then I see this in your journal." I scoffed as I tossed the journal back onto the coffee table. I was trying to mask my fear with anger, "I have dealt with serious depression for basically my whole life. This is not a fucking joke." I began to bounce my leg up and down.

Arthur frowned, "I wrote that before I even met you. So, yeah, maybe that came from dark place before, but I don't feel that way now. Why would I?," he placed his hand on my bouncing knee, "I have you."

I forced my knee to stop bouncing, but it only made me bring my thumb up to my mouth so that I could start chewing on my thumbnail. Even though I pretty much already lost my cool in this situation, I was trying to contain it from getting worse. My emotions were bubbling as memories of Todd, threatening to kill himself, flooded my mind. That was Todd's go-to method when it came to controlling me. The haunting feelings of these memories made my eyes water.

"If you think I'm lying, I'm not," he wiped at his eyes in frustration, "I know I wasn't being straightforward about the gun at first and I'm sorry for that, but I am NOT lying about the reason I got the gun." He looked at me with pleading eyes, hoping that I would listen to his words and believe them.

I let out a shaky sigh, "So, you promise that the gun has nothing to do with what's written in your journal? You promise you're not planning on..."

He gently placed his hands on both sides of my neck and rubbed his thumbs on my jawlines, "I promise. I wouldn't do anything that would take me from you." He was looking into my eyes deeply.

I suddenly realized how much my fear of him being gone was affecting me. I was trying to take this relationship slow, but it was obvious that I was already becoming emotionally invested. Maybe more than I should be at this point. "I'm sorry. All of this just freaked me out," I really didn't know what else to say.

"It's okay," he said with a sigh of relief, "I understand." He pulled me in for a kiss and this time I kissed him back. The taste of nicotine was still on his lips. He pulled away and stared, "You are so beautiful, Anon."

I rolled my eyes at him playfully. I didn't think he was serious about his 'compliment you every day' thing, but he was. He gave me, at least, one compliment a day, but usually it was more. It still felt weird though.

"You are way more handsome, though." He scoffed at me and shook his head. "I guess I'm not the only one that is bad at taking compliments," I teased. He reached for his pack of cigarettes and got one out for both of us. As he lit them, my tone turned serious again, "Arthur, please promise to be honest with me. Always. I want us to be able to tell each other everything and trust each other about anything."

We both took drags from our cigarettes. Once he blew out a cloud of smoke, he answered, "I promise."

"And will you consider getting rid of that gun? I think it'll be more trouble than what it's worth."

Arthur looked at the gun and slowly shook his head, "I'm sorry, Anon, but I'm going to keep it for now."


	15. Boyfriend

As soon as the clock on the wall ticked to 5 o'clock, I let out a huge sigh of relief. The guys were giving me a little more grief than usual, but I made it through the day. To make things even better, it was finally pay day. I got up from my desk and quickly headed to the bathroom to change. I told Arthur last night that we were finally going to go out and do something. While I didn't mind hanging out with him at his apartment, I wanted to change it up a bit.

I walked out of the bathroom with freshly applied make-up and my hair flowing freely. I was wearing a new burgundy dress that was sleeveless, very form-fitting and stopped right above my knees. Both sides were laced up, so you could see some of my skin.

As I walked down the halls to get to the elevators, I saw Andrew, Johnny and Nicholas talking to each other. I felt a bit embarrassed about them seeing me in my outfit, so I slipped on my coat to somewhat cover myself up as I passed them.

"Looks like you have plans tonight. Can we join ya, sweets?" Johnny called out to me. 

Andrew and Nicholas tittered at his comment. I sharply blew air through my nose and smiled, as if to be assumed by his question, but it really just freaked me out. Johnny had a really creepy vibe to him that was hard to ignore.

Before I left Wayne Tower, I made my way to see Elizabeth so I could get my check from her. She was always in a good mood and gave me a sweet smile as she handed the check to me, "So, how are things going? It has been a while since you have called me for help."

I leaned on her desk, "Things have been pretty smooth actually."

"Martha was right. She said you were going to catch on quickly and you did."

I bit my lip and took in a deep breath, "But there is a problem, with the guys, sometimes. They say a lot of," I paused, almost wondering if I should bring up the topic at all, "inappropriate things."

Elizabeth slowly nodded her head and hummed, "That is just part of the job sometimes. Boys will be boys and there isn't much you can do about it. As long as they aren't physically harassing you, it is just best to let their words roll off you like water on a duck's back. Trust me, I have gone through that too."

I leaned in closer to her so I could whisper, my eyes wide with surprise, "Do you mean, like, with Thomas Wayne?"

Elizabeth let out a laugh, "Oh no, no. Thomas has never done anything like that. He is the best man I have ever worked for. But, I have dealt with Johnny, Andrew and Nicholas. And a lot of other guys like them. Just let me know if things get physical, okay?"

I nodded and pushed myself off of her desk, "Okay, thanks." 

I didn't feel like just waiting for it to get physical was the best way to go about it, but whatever. I guess I would just have to go with what she said. I said goodbye to Elizabeth and left Wayne Tower so I could cash my check at a nearby bank.

After all of that was done, I started to make my way to Ha Ha's. Even though he wasn't thrilled about the idea, I told Arthur that I would meet him there instead of at the apartment. I thought this would help us save some time. I gave Sophie my key to Arthur's apartment because she agreed to check in on Penny for us and make her dinner. Sophie didn't seem as skeptical about our relationship as she was when we had our first date, but then again, I didn't see her as much nowadays. I would stay at Arthur's pretty late almost every night and Sophie was usually asleep by the time I came in to go to bed.

As I got on the Subway to get to Ha Ha's, I thought about how great things were going. I had a job, Hal was happy with me, I didn't have to do the methadone treatments anymore, I was still living a sober life, and I was seeing a new counselor. However, my relationship with Arthur was truly the highlight of my life and it was going better than I ever thought it would and our connection was getting stronger every day. During these last couple of weeks, we spent almost all of our time together outside of work. He tried to go with me to my appointments, but he had his own counseling appointments to worry about as well, so sometimes we had to spend additional time apart.

Eventually, I made it to Ha Ha's and I went inside to the big room with the lockers. Just like last time, everyone that was in the room turned and stared at me. However, this time, I saw two different guys. One looked a little familiar, he was very tall and heavyset. The other guy was very, very short.

The very short man smiled sweetly, "Hello, miss. Is there something we can help you with?"

The tall guy curled his lips into a devilish smile, "Do you need a job, little lady? I think you came to the right place," he looked down at the short man, "didn't she, Gary?" Gary rolled his eyes and shook his head at the tall guy.

I ignored the tall guy because I had a feeling I knew what he was talking about; Arthur told me before that Ha Ha's did rent out strippers. "Thanks, Gary, I was just looking for Arthur. Is he back from his job yet?"

The tall guy slammed his palm against his forehead, "Oh, how could I forget!" He then proceeded to tap Gary on the head, "Gary, this is Arthur's little dolly. You've never seen her have ya?"

Gary's face was stricken with surprise, but he quickly returned to a more neutral expression, "It is nice to meet you..."

"Anon," I said flatly. I was not exactly happy that this tall guy was calling me a 'little dolly'.

Gary smiled, "Anon, yes. Well, Arthur hasn't come back yet, but feel free to wait for him here." 

I thanked him as I walked over and sat down at the bench that was in front of Arthur's locker.

Gary and the tall guy said a few more things to each other as the tall guy took a seat at the vanity that was closest to me and started organizing his make-up. Once they were done talking, Gary left the room and the tall guy's attention turned back to me.

"My name is Randall, by the way. You could say I am Arthur's favorite co-worker."

_So this is Randall, the one that gave Arthur the gun._

"Yeah, Arthur has mentioned you before."

Randall let out a chuckle, "Oh, really? Good things I hope," he was applying his make-up as he waited for me to respond, but I didn't. "You know, you and Arthur, your relationship has a special place in my heart."

I turned towards him; his face was completely covered in white face paint, "Why is that?"

Randall started to paint colored shapes around his eyes, "Oh, I give Arthur relationship advice all the time, so I feel kind of like a match-maker or relationship guru or something for you two." He stopped what he was doing, turned towards me, leaned in a bit and whispered in a husky voice, "I even gave him some sexy-time ideas. Has he used any of them yet? Did they work?" He looked at me with anticipation, like I was really going to answer his question.

My cheeks turned red and I shot him an expression of disgust, "You're a pig, Randall." 

I turned myself back around so I didn't have to look at him anymore. He just laughed and went back to putting on his make-up.

Thankfully, I didn't have to sit there too much longer before Arthur showed up. As he entered the room, I stood up and walked towards him. He was in his clown getup and it made me think of the time I saw him in front of Kenny's Music. Back then, he was just a guy, dressed as a clown, entertaining me on the sidewalk. Now, we were in a relationship and I hated to think about my life without him. Weird how things can change so much in a few months.

Once I was close enough to him, I wrapped him in a hug and tried to kiss him, but he moved his head away, "I don't want to get my face paint on you." But I took his face in my hands and pulled him to me so I could plant a kiss on his lips anyways. He didn't resist at all and automatically wrapped his arms around my waist and picked me up off the ground to deepen the kiss.

Almost as soon as we pulled away and Arthur placed my feet back on the ground, Randall yelled out, "Hoyt's already gone home. You two could get some privacy in there. Come on, Arthur, you gotta use some of those moves I talked about."

Arthur looked at me with concern and confusion, "Wha--moves? What did he say to you?"

I shook my head, "Don't mind him. Just hurry up and change so we can get out of here."

Arthur nodded his head in agreement and made his way to the bathroom. It didn't take him too long to come back out in his regular Arthur-clothes, with a clean face. He had a damp paper towel in hand and wiped a couple places around my mouth to clean the face paint that was now on me. Once he was satisfied with that, he clocked out and we left Ha Ha's, with our arms locked together.

Arthur and I decided that we were both hungry, so we made our way to a nearby street in Gotham that was known as "The Food Highway of Gotham". This was a street where countless street food vendors lined up, for several blocks, every night. There were vendors that ranged from Italian, to Chinese, to Indian - you could pretty much find anything that your foodie heart desired. Both of us had been there before, but we never tried the food, so I thought this would be a fun thing to do together. We spent a good chunk of time just deciding on which place we were going to try. We finally decided on some gyros at a Greek vendor, ordered those and sat at one of the small tables that were set up by the vendor.

The temperature outside was comfortable, so I decided to take off my jacket and placed it on the back of the chair in was sitting in. Arthur sat down on the other side of the table and his gaze was completely fixated on me, but I pretended like I didn't notice.

After enjoying my food for a minute, I reached over and tapped Arthur on his shoulder. "Have you tried the food yet? It is good," I used a sing-songy voice.

He completely ignored my question, "Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?"

I pursed my lips and acted like I had to think about it. "No, never. You never have," I teased.

He smiled and shook his head, "Well, then, I am doing a terrible job as your..." He didn't finish his sentence.

I raised an eyebrow, "As my..."

He took on a more serious face, "Would you consider me your boyfriend?"

I placed one of my hands on top of his, "I do consider you my boyfriend, silly. We are in an exclusive relationship and I," I paused, "really, really like you, Arthur Fleck."

His smile returned, "I really, really like you too." He laced his fingers with mine, "So, I can refer to you as my girlfriend, then?" I nodded my head at him as I let out a small giggle. He stared at our hands for moment, but then shot his head back up at me, "Oh, I almost forgot to tell you!"

His sudden excitement made me jump a bit, "Almost forgot to tell me what?"

He shook my hand gently with excitement, "I went by Pogo's today and signed up. I'm going to be part of one of their open mic shows." He had the biggest smile on his face that I had ever seen.

I threw myself across the small table and wrapped him in a hug, "That is great! You have been practicing a lot lately, you are definitely ready!" Some of his stuff was a little dark, but there were plenty of dark comedians out there. So, why couldn't he do it too? I pulled away from him, "You are going to tell the one about the man with insomnia, right? I love that one!"

"Yes, I'll do it especially for you." Suddenly, his smile was replaced by a very serious face, "My girlfriend will be there, right?" I saw his lips twitch, trying to keep from smiling.

I pinched his wrist playfully, "Of course she will be."

We continued to talk about his upcoming show at Pogo's as we finished eating. After we finished, we walked around some more to find a place to get dessert, which brought us to this busy diner that apparently had the best milkshakes. Arthur wasn't too interested, but I went ahead and stuck two straws in the milkshake I ordered, just in case he changed his mind. We took a seat in one of the booths in the diner, but this time, Arthur sat next to me and we held hands underneath the table.

"So, I didn't ask you about work yet today. How was it?" He asked me about work everyday, but I could still tell it wasn't getting any easier for him to talk about it.

"It was fine. I mean, the guys are still being a little difficult to deal with. I talked to Elizabeth about it, but she basically just said 'boys will be boys'. So, I don't know."

He frowned, "You say that everyday, that they are difficult. What exactly do you mean by that?"

I parted my lips to speak, but nothing came out. I knew that Arthur wouldn't be happy with what I had to say, but I didn't want to lie to him either.

Before I could say anything, someone jumped into the booth on the other side of the table we were sitting at, "Oh my gosh, Anon! Where have you been, you bitch!" 

Arthur and I both jumped at the sudden interruption and then looked over at the person that caused it. She was a short, skin-and-bones girl with jet black hair that had random spots of faded pink hair. 

She didn't really give me a chance to respond before she continued, "Bitch, do not act like you don't know me."

Arthur's hand squeezed my hand tightly, but he was looking at the stranger with furrowed brows, "W-who are you?"

Sadly, I knew exactly who she was. Her name was Samantha and she was Todd's sister. _Fuck._

"Sam, wow, it's you. It's been a while. " Honestly, seeing her was not something I wanted, but I was trying to be cordial.

She loudly chewed on her gum, which she always did, "Yeah, you know rehab. So fucking pointless. So, who is the old dude?" She pointed directly at Arthur.

I frowned at her, "Sam, shut up." I looked at Arthur and smiled, "This is my boyfriend, Arthur." I looked back at her to wait for her reaction. I knew she was going to say something stupid.

She stared at us for a moment and then let out loud laugh, "For fucking real? Man, Todd will shit himself when I tell him."

I automatically tensed up, "Is he out of Blackgate?"

She smiled, "No, but I visit him every week. He will not be happy when I tell him that your stepping out on him."

Arthur shifted in his seat as small sounds escaped his throat. I squeezed his hand tighter and rubbed his shoulder with my free hand, trying to calm him because I knew what was coming. It didn't help. His suffocating laugh slowly started to take over his body and I just sat there, rubbing his shoulder, waiting for it to pass.

As he struggled to breathe through his laughs, Sam looked at me with a perplexed expression, "What the fuck is so funny? Where did you fucking find this guy? Arkham Asylum?"

My eyes shot at her like daggers, "He has a condition, Sam. You should understand that. You have, like, every fucking personality disorder listed in the DSM!"

Sam sat back in the booth, crossed her arms and studied me for a minute before she spoke again, "Man, you are fucking sober, aren't you. I can tell because you are a fucking boring bitch when you're sober. Come on, let's ditch this old ass creep and get high. I'm dating this guy right now and h--"

"Fuck off, Sam."

She rolled her eyes, "Whatever. Look, whenever you decide you want to jump off the fucking wagon -because we know you fucking will- I live at the Fairview apartment complex, #22B. Just, do not bring the weird psych patient with you."

My blood was boiling at this point. Once I realized that Arthur was finally able to calm his laughing, I scooted closer to him, "Come on Arthur, let's go." 

He got out of the booth and helped me out of it. We started to walk away when she yelled something else. I wasn't even sure what she said, I didn't care. 

I turned around and pointed at her, "You and Todd better leave me alone. I want nothing else to do with either of you. I'm not 'stepping out' on him because I am 100% done with him. So how about you tell him that."

She scoffed at me, but didn't say anything else as Arthur and I continued our way out of the diner. We decided it would be best to make our way back to the apartment.


	16. Together *mature*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️This is a smut chapter. So, if that stuff makes you uncomfortable, you really don't have to read it. Nothing important for the story will happen here!⚠️

We made it back to Arthur's apartment. I had been able to calm myself down during our walk from the diner to the apartment, but I could tell Arthur was still a bit thrown off by what happened.

Penny asked us questions about our night out during the commercials of her show and Arthur barely said anything, he kind of just stared off, smoking like a train. Once her show was over, Arthur helped her get to bed. Once we were finally alone, we sat next to each other on the couch, me leaning in the crook of his shoulder, as we both puffed on cigarettes. I could tell he wasn't watching the TV though. He was just there, stewing in his thoughts.

We sat there in silence for a while, until I couldn't take it anymore, "Hey, you. What are you thinking about?"

He parted his lips from his cigarette and held it inches from his mouth, "Oh, just about what that girl said. What was her name again? And how do you know her? I know she mentioned Todd."

I have told Arthur about Todd and my crazy fucked up relationship with him, but I never told him about Sam. There was no reason to. She was basically just Todd's annoying sister that was always around, but I acted cool with her because she always got amazing hook ups when it came to drugs. Mainly because she would sleep with any drug dealer she laid her eyes on. So, I gave him a little background information about her to satisfy his questions.

He shook his head as he looked at me with sad eyes, "She was horrible to you." 

I turned towards him and ran my free hand through his hair, brushing some stray hairs back. Sam had said worse things about him, but he was worried about how she treated me. 

Then, he looked down at the floor "And she laughed at us. Do you think other people laugh about us? Hm, I'm sure Randall does."

I put my cigarette out in the ashtray, "So, what if they do? Fuck 'em. Especially Randall. We are happy and that is all that matters."

He flicked the ashes of his cigarette into the ashtray and adjusted himself on the couch, "I don't know. Maybe you would be happier with someone else." 

He softly pressed his lips around his cigarette and took a drag from it. Here I was, admiring how he smoked, yet again.

I sighed in frustration. Not at Arthur, at Samantha. Of course she just randomly had to come in and mess with Arthur's confidence in our relationship. She always did shit like that though. She loved to stir the pot. 

I pulled the cigarette out of Arthur's mouth, placed it in the ashtray and made him look at me, "Arthur, don't say that."

He wiped his hands down his face, like he was trying to wipe the thought away, "I'm sorry, but it is something I think about sometimes. When your not around and all my negative thoughts are," he swirled a finger around his head, "floating around."

"I get that. You know I do, but..." I pressed my lips into a hard line and thought about what I could say to make him see past those negative thoughts. But what could I say? What could I do?

What could I do?

I got up from the couch and stood in front of Arthur, looking down at him. He started to push himself up, but I stopped him by bending down slightly, placing my hands on his shoulders and pushing him back onto the couch as I settled both of my knees on each side of his hips. Since my dress was so form-fitting, I had to pull up the skirt of my dress up to my hips so that I could sit down on his lap completely. Arthur's body stayed completely still as I did all of this, except for the up and down movements of his chest as he breathed. His eyes flicked from my eyes to my body several times. As I straddled him, I placed my hands on the base of his head, tangling my fingers in his hair, and planted my lips on his. He kissed me back as his placed his hands on my hips.

We quickly moved into some heavier-than-normal-for-us kissing, but I didn't just want to kiss. That's as far as we ever went, which I loved, but I wanted more. I licked his bottom lip and I could sense that he opened his eyes with surprise of my action before he licked me back. I moved my tongue against his lips again, but this time, used enough force to push past his lips and my tongue explored his mouth. I could taste the nicotine, along with a taste that I could only be explained as Arthur's unique taste. Suddenly, I felt his tongue push against mine, probably hoping to do the same. So I let him, I relaxed my tongue and it was his turn to explore my mouth. We went back and forth with open mouth kisses as Arthur put his hands on the small of my back and pulled my body closer to him, causing his pants to rub between my legs, against my thin panties, and I let out a small moan against his lips. I felt a twitch in his pants, right underneath my core, and I rubbed against him to feel his reaction again.

He let out a small moan as he broke from our kissing. He started a trail of kisses from my lips, to my cheek, to my jawline and then down to my neck. He stayed at my neck for a moment, placing wet kisses there randomly and I could feel his warm breath against my neck between each kiss. It was all sending small jolts of pleasure down my neck and through my spine. He then moved a little further down, kissing my collarbone and then my sternum. He couldn't go any further because of my dress, so he pulled away and looked up at me.

I released his hair, reached back, grabbed his hands from my back, and made his fingers hook onto the skirt of my dress. I removed my hands, "You can take my dress off if you want to."

He nodded at me as he stared and he slowly started to pull my dress up. I lifted up my arms so that he could completely pull the dress off of my body. He tossed it on the ground, but his eyes never left me. I was now just in my black strapless bra and black lace panties. He reached up with one hand and fixed my necklace that must have tangled up when be pulled off my dress. Once he did that, he slowly ran both of his hands down the sides of my body, starting from the band of my bra to my hips, as he continued to admire my body. The nerve endings in my skin were going crazy as he touched me. I reached back, unclasp my bra, slowly removed it, and dropped it on the floor behind me. He stared at my bare chest, long enough to make me feel a little self-conscious.

I giggled to try and hide the small embarrassment I was feeling, "Don't just stare, silly. Do something." I grabbed his hands again and placed them on my breasts.

He started to knead my breasts and rub his thumb across my nipples occasionally. I gave him small, approving moans to let him know that I was enjoying his touch. He did this for a bit until he leaned forward and continued his kisses where they had left off before; he started at my sternum and then kissed my breasts in a random pattern. I placed my hands back at the base of his head as I enjoyed his kisses.

Suddenly, I felt him take one of my nipples in his mouth and his tongue flicked against it. I quickly let out a moan and I felt him twitch beneath me again. He spent a little more time licking and gently sucking on my nipple before he moved to the other one to give it the same attention. I felt myself become wet with excitement and I wanted more. I could tell he did to; his hard member was now pushing against my core through his pants. I started to rub myself against his clothed erection, causing him to moan against my nipple. As I felt the vibrations of his moan and his hard member between my legs, I curled my fingers around locks of his hair, scratching his skin gently, and pulled his hair in a downward direction. This caused him to release his mouth from my nipple and look up at me. 

"Ya know, it isn't fair that I'm the only one that's naked right now." 

He let out a small laugh, unbuttoned his shirt and threw it off. Then I kissed him on the lips and slowly made my way down to his jawline and neck. As I did this, I reached down to his pants and worked on undoing his belt and pants. Once I was able to do that, I slowly slid my body from his lap to his knees, rubbing myself against him.

I put my weight back on my feet and pushed myself from the couch into a standing position while he lifted his butt of the couch so that he could pull down his pants and boxers. His hard member was finally unclothed and ready to go. After he kicked off his pants and boxers, he sat himself on the edge of the couch, placed his hands on my hips and pulled my body closer to him. His face was at my stomach and he started placing kisses there randomly. I ran my hands through his hair. Then I felt him move down to kiss on my hips and his fingers where playing with the waistband of my panties. I hummed in pleasure because the kisses on my hips were really turning me on. Before long, his fingers hooked onto my underwear and he slowly pulled down. I felt my underwear fall down to my feet and I stepped out of them, one foot at a time.

He kept kissing me, but did something I really wasn't expecting. He took his right thumb and started rubbing it against my clit, setting off all of the sensitive nerves. His middle finger also played around at my entrance that was now even more wet than before. 

"Mmm, Arthur, that feels so good." 

Suddenly, he slipped his middle finger inside of me, causing my breath to hitch. I let out a loud moan as I felt his finger press against my walls and my knees buckle a little bit at the sudden jolt of pleasure. 

Arthur's free hand gripped my hip as he looked up at me with a sly smile, "Keep standing up, love." He keep his eyes up at me as I looked down at him. 

_Aw, did he just call me 'love'?_

My thought was quickly interrupted by him pumping his finger in and out of me at a quickening pace, "Ah, oh-oh." 

I wrapped some of his brown hair in my hands and pulled slightly. What he was doing felt amazing. He kept up the pace for a bit and I couldn't help up arch my back from the pleasure I was feeling. 

"A-Arthur...I want you."

As soon as he heard that, he pulled his hand away, quickly took one of my hands and gently pulled me with him as he moved himself back into the couch. I was straddling his lap once again, but this time there was no clothing between us. I felt his erection press against my wet folds. It was driving me crazy being this close to him. 

He cupped my face in his hands and looked into my eyes, "I want you too, love."

I placed my left hand on his shoulder for support, took his cock in my right hand, aligned it with my opening, and slid myself onto him, slowly so that I could adjust to his size. I was plenty wet from when he fingered me, so he went in smoothly. He filled me up completely, my wall hugged around him tightly. He placed his hands on my hips and laid his head against the back of the couch as he let out a moan.

"Mmm, does that feel good?"

He rubbed his hands on my hips, "Fuck, you feel amazing."

I started to rock myself back up and down his shaft. First I moved slowly so we could both enjoy every little sensation. Arthur pushed and pulled my hips along with the motions.

"Do you want me to go faster?"

"Y-yes, love, please," he breathed out between moans.

I started rocking against him faster, but he wasn't satisfied with the pace. He put his hands under my thighs and lifted my lower half just enough so he could start bucking himself into me. He did this in careful, measured movements at first; using quite a bit of force each time and it made me yelp with pleasure each time.

Soon, he was thrusting up into me at a quick pace and I felt a pressure building inside me, "Oh, A-Arrhur, I'm close." This encouraged him to thrust faster and harder.

Both of us were on edge. He muttered quiet curses under his breath as I leaned against his shoulders for support, the pleasure was getting to be too much. Until finally I felt the huge wave of relief, shudders traveling up my spine as my walls clenched around him. He kept thrusting, but only a few more times before he came as well. He let out a guttural moan as he released into me, moving his hip in small, careful thrusts until he was done.

I slowly pulled myself off of him, but still straddled him as I kissed him on the lips. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me back. After we ended our kiss, I moved to the side to sit back on the couch and reached down on the floor to reach my clothing.

He watched me as I put on my bra and panties, "You're not leaving are you?"

"Well, I mean, I am tired. Aren't you?"

He slipped on his boxers and then pulled me down on the couch with him. We squeezed ourselves on the couch, his back pressed against the back of the couch as far as he could as he spooned me. 

"Please don't leave." 

He pulled the blanket that was folded on the back of the couch, laid it across us for warmth and wrapped his arm around me.

I didn't fight it. It was a bit of a squeeze, but I really didn't want to leave him either. And we both soon drifted into sleep.


	17. Next Step

***  
Anon's POV:  
***

I woke up to a gentle shake on my arm. I opened my eyes and Arthur was standing over me, "I'm sorry to wake you, but Mom is about to make her way in here. I though y--"

I looked down at myself and saw I was still just in my bra and panties. I quickly sat up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes, "Yeah, you're right. I better go."

I stood up to get dressed, but Arthur placed his hands on my waist and pulled me towards him, "You don't have to go. I just woke you so you could get dressed."

I shook my head at him, "No, I don't want your mom to see me, first thing in the morning, in the same clothes I was wearing last night."

He let out a small laugh, "Doubt she would even notice it."

I kissed him on the cheek, "I'm just going to go to Sophie's, take a shower, change and then I'll come back. Okay?"

He pretended to pout for a moment, but then he smile, "Okay." He removed his hands from me so I could fetch my dress and put it on.

I slipped on my jacket as I quietly made my way out his apartment and walked towards Sophie's. I didn't even think to look at what time it was, so I wasn't sure to expect Sophie to be up or not. I bit my lip as I unlocked the apartment door and opened it. I peaked inside and Sophie was sitting on the couch with her daughter watching TV, but the sound of the door opening made her look towards the door. Her face flashed with worry before she realized it was me. She whispered something to her daughter as she got up and walked towards me as I entered the apartment and closed the door.

"Well, well. Where were you?" She was now standing in front of me and she leaned herself against the wall, waiting for me to spill the beans.

"I, uh, well... I stayed at Arthur's last night."

She looked me up and down, "I see. So, you two really are getting serious. Aren't you?"

I gave her a confused look because I honestly was. I wasn't sure what she was trying to get at. Was she happy about it? Did she still think it was odd? I just wasn't sure. 

"Yeah, we are. Is there a problem with that?"

I walked past her to get to the kitchen to get something to drink. I inspected the fridge as she answered.

"I don't know. I just wouldn't picture Arthur as a guy you would date," she sighed in frustration, "God, I don't want to make you mad at me or anything. I mean, Arthur is a sweet enough guy, but I just don't really see this working out. Ya know, long term."

I was sipping on orange juice by the time she finished. I leaned myself against the counter, thinking about what she said. Why were all of these people doubting Arthur and my relationship with him. First the counselor, then Sam (not a big surprise there though), and now Sophie. I finally decided to drop the conversation completely. I pulled out an envelope that was in my jacket pocket, opened it and took out the money I received from cashing my check yesterday - minus what I spent to pay for food last night. 

I counted out a decent chunk of it and held it out towards Sophie, "Here, I know this doesn't pay you back completely for everything you have done for me, but I need the rest to get me until next pay day. I'll get you some more then."

Sophie shook her head, "I keep telling you that I'm not expecting you to pay me back."

I placed the cash on the kitchen counter, "But I am anyways. I might go searching for my own apartment today. Maybe I can find something."

"Then you should keep the money."

I ignored her as I put my glass in the sink and walked past her and went to the bathroom. I quickly showered, groomed and got dressed, in simple blue jeans and a cream colored t-shirt, so that I could get back over to Arthur's. I wouldn't say I was mad at Sophie, but I definitely wanted to avoid any further conversations with her about my relationship with Arthur.

As I got my bag together, I mentally made the official decision that I was going to search for my own apartment today. I was tired of this awful building and sleeping on Sophie's couch. I pulled my hair into a ponytail as I made my way down the hall to Arthur's apartment. Once I got there, I didn't even worry about knocking - I walked right in.

As I closed the door behind me, Penny turned her attention to me. She was sitting in her chair, like usual. She smiled, "Good morning, dear."

"Good morning," I said as I walked into the living room. 

I sat my bag on the couch, but I didn't sit down. I heard the shower in the bathroom running, so I had to assume that's where Arthur was. 

"Did Arthur get you breakfast yet?"

She shook her head as she looked at the TV, "No, but I'm not hungry. I don't feel that great this morning."

I walked into the kitchen, "Maybe you should at least try to eat. What about Arthur, did he eat?"

She didn't answer. I wasn't sure if it was because she didn't know or because she didn't hear me. So, I was just going to assume that he didn't. I started making some oatmeal and toast for all three of us.

I hummed a song as I moved around the kitchen that was now so familiar to me. I was very focused on the oatmeal, which I was cooking on the stove, when I felt a body push up against my back and hands caress my hips. 

He rested his chin on my shoulder and his damp hair stuck to the side of my face, "You're back."

"I told you I would be."

"What are you doing?" He tilted his head so he could kiss my neck.

It sent chills down my spine because my thoughts flashed back to last night. I smiled and bit my lip at the thoughts. _Focus._

"Making oatmeal. You and your mom need to eat. One day, both of you are going to blow away in the wind."

He shook his head against my neck, "You are always so worried about me eating. It's like you want to fatten me up so you can eat me. You cannibal." He quietly ticked out a sound of laughter. 

I turned my body around to face him and gently pushed him away, "Damn it, you figured out my plan!" 

We both let out small giggles. He was shirtless, just wearing his dark blue pants, and I could see just the very top of the waistband of his boxers.

I finished the oatmeal and toast and made a bowl for all three of us. Arthur got his mother situated with her food, though she ignored it, and then we both sat down on the couch and started eating.

"So, what do you want to do today? I don't have a job lined up today."

"That's actually great news because I want to go looking at apartments today. So, you can come with me." Arthur chewed on a piece of toast as he looked at me with an arched eyebrow. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I pointed my spoon at him.

He placed his bowl on the table and turned towards me, "Look for an apartment? Why? Why not stay with Sophie?"

I shook my head, "No, I can't stay there much longer. I never wanted to be a burden for her, but I had to accept her help. There was no other option for me, but now I have this job. Now I can get own place. Be my own functioning adult."

"Well, just stay with me then. I mean, why not? We are a couple. Couples live together."

I held my bowl in one hand and placed my free hand on his knee, "I know, I would love to do that, but... While I didn't mind sharing the couch with you last night, we can't do that every night. I need to sleep on an actual bed." With his apartment being a small, 1 bedroom apartment, it wouldn't work.

I saw his eyes dart around, trying to think of a solution. "I sure will miss you being right down the hall though."

I let out a sigh, "I know, I will too, but I'll find somewhere close, okay?" I took my hand back so I could pick up my spoon and finish eating.

I felt bad. When I decided on looking for an apartment today, I didn't really think about Arthur's feelings about it or how it would change things for us. However, it wouldn't be that big of a change. We could still be together after work, I would just have to walk a little further to get home. No big deal.

After we, mostly me, finished eating, Arthur got his mother situated, threw on a white collared shirt and brown sweater, and we left. We basically just started walking around the neighborhood, looking for apartment complexes and walking into each one to see if they had apartments available. The first couple complexes we walked into were, surprisingly, worse than our apartments.

One that we came acrossed seemed familiar for some reason. "Arthur, does Fairview seem familiar to you? It feels familiar to me for some reason."

He frowned, "Yeah, that's where Sam is staying. That's the name she said at least."

"Ohh," I quickened my pace as we passed the complex, Arthur did as well to keep up. I did not want to run into her today.

We came across other apartments complexes, but they didn't have any open rooms. By the time we found one that was decent and had an open room, we were quite a ways from our apartments. The complex was called Baron Park Apartments, I assumed because it was across the street from a small park. I started to walk up the stairs to the front entrance, but Arthur didn't follow. 

I turned back to him, "Come on, you." 

He shifted nervously and, for a second, I didn't think he was going to come, but he eventually did. Once he caught up to me, I took his hand in mine and we walked in together.

We walked into a small lobby area and there were two doors on the wall across from us and some stairs and an elevator to the right. The door directly in front of us said "mail room" and the other one that was to the left of that door said "management office". There was a piece of paper taped to the door that listed the hours that the office was attended. Thankfully, we came at a good time, so I knocked on the door. We heard someone yell for us to come in, so we did.

We were greeted by a middle-aged man sitting at a desk. He had short faded-red hair and red stubble all over his chin. He stood up, but stayed behind his desk, "Hello, I'm Ryan, how can I help you today?" I told him why we were there. "I see, well I have one room that became available yesterday. Let's go up and take a look at it." He grabbed some keys from his desk and we followed him out of the room.

I looked at Arthur and shook his hand with excitement as we followed Ryan into the elevator. He pressed the 12 button and it started its way up. The elevator was such a smooth ride compared to the one at our apartments and we made it the 12th floor in no time. We followed Ryan out if the elevator and down the hallway to a door 12F. Ryan unlocked the door and flung it opening, letting us enter before him.

As soon as we walked in, we were in the living room and could look into the kitchen from there. The walls in the living room were painted a light tan color and the kitchen was painted a light teal. Very simple, but nice. Arthur and I walked towards the kitchen, but before we got there, we came across a small hallway on the right. I turned to enter the hallway and there were three doors. The one on the right lead to a bedroom, the one on the left was for a bathroom, and the door at the end of the hallway was for a second bedroom. I made my way back to the living room and saw Arthur in the kitchen, looking through the cabinets.

Ryan cleared his throat, "You probably saw already, but this is a 2 bedroom - 1 bathroom apartment. Recently repainted. Kitchen is fully furnished. It will be $700 a month plus utilities."

I looked around as I tried to do the math in my head. I really didn't need a two bedroom apartment... Unless.

I walked up to Arthur, "Hey, I just thought. What if you moved in with me. You and your mom, of course."

He smiled, but sounded like he was in disbelief, "Really? You think we could?"

I nodded my head, "Yeah, both of us are working. I think we totally could. Come on, let's do it."

He caressed my cheek with his thumb, "If you want to, I'm up for it."

I let out a little squeal, I was way too happy, and kissed him on the lips. 

I left Arthur to make my way over to Ryan, "What do I need to do to apply for the room?"

"There is a packet of paperwork you'll have to fill out and you'll have to pay a down payment and the remaining rent for the month from when you plan on moving in. Let's go back downstairs and get that paperwork together."

We followed him back down to his office and he gave us all of the paperwork we needed. He told us to go ahead and take the paperwork with us, because it was a lot, and bring it back once it was completed. He said he would put the apartment on hold for a few days to give us some time, but he could only do that for so long. We thanked him and left.

Arthur and I talked about what we would have to do to get moved into the apartment as we made our way back to Arthur's apartment. I was pretty excited to tell Penny, but when we made it back to the apartment, Penny wasn't in her chair.

Arthur went into her room and came back into the living room, "She is sleeping. I guess she really isn't feeling good today." He sounded a bit worried.

I sat down at the kitchen table and started laying out all of the paperwork on the table, "Yeah, she said something this morning about not feeling good. I hope she gets to feeling better soon."

Arthur sat down at the table next to me and we started working on the paperwork.


	18. I Love You

***  
Arthur's POV:  
***

I laid on my back on the couch, my head supported by my thin pillow that was propped up on the arm of the couch, as I watched some show that was on the TV. I had never seen the show before and I wasn't actually enjoying it, but Anon slept on top of me; her head on my chest, her body resting on my abdomen, and her legs sandwiched between mine. She must have drifted off to sleep during the movie that we were watching a little earlier and I didn't dare disturb her because then she would insist on leaving so we wouldn't have to share the couch. She would say that we would get better sleep that way, but that wasn't true. Not for me. I slept better when she was close to me, even if that meant being squished on a small couch. I ignored the small pain in my neck from it being stuck at a slight angle for at least a couple hours now.

I looked down at her, though I could really only see the top of her head from this angle, as I carefully ran my right hand through her blonde hair and moved it down to her side, rubbing her with my fingers gently. I felt her body rise and fall as she breathed at a slow rhythm. I focused my attention on her breathing until my eyelids became heavy and I started to drift off.

"Happy!"

My eyes opened at the sound of my mother's voice. I turned my head to look at the TV and found that the show I had been watching was still on, so I couldn't have been asleep long. 

_What does she want?_

I let out a frustrated sigh. Part of me wanted to close my eyes and pretend I didn't hear her, but the other part of me knew she needed me. Mom had been feeling bad all day.

I moved my hand from Anon's side to her shoulder, "Hey love, I'm so sorry, but Mom needs something." 

I felt awful waking her up, she was sleeping so peacefully. She mumbled something as she slowly pushed herself off my chest into a sitting position.

She stretched her arms and yawned as she sat in between my legs, then she looked at me, "Did I fall asleep on you? I'm sorry, that must have been uncomfortable."

I sat myself up and took her face in my hands, "I was cuddling with you, nothing is more comfortable than that."

She smiled at me, but shook her head in disbelief. I smiled back and pecked her on the lips with a kiss before I got up from the couch to make my way to my mother's room. I heard her call out for me a second time. I walked into her room, closing the door behind me. 

It was dark, but I saw that she out of her bed, standing by her dresser, and digging around in her jewelry box. "Mom, what are you doing out of bed?"

"I woke up with a terrible headache, Happy," she didn't even look at me, she just kept digging in her jewelry box.

I sighed, "Well, at least get back in bed, Mom. I will get you some medicine."

Before I could open the bedroom door to leave, she sighed in frustration, "Oh, where is it. Where could it be. I know it's here. It's always here."

I peered at her, "Mom, what are you looking for?"

I could tell she was on the verge of crying, "My necklace. Oh, it's gone."

I rolled my eyes, walked over to her, and looked at the jewelry box, "You have several necklaces in there. Are you sure one is missing?" All of her necklaces were cheap, so I didn't see why she would be so bothered.

She smacked at my arm with the back of one of her hands, "My special one. It's missing."

I raised an eyebrow at her, "Are you talking about the diamond necklace?" She nodded her head as she started to sob. "You gave that to me. You said you didn't need it anymore."

She pushed against me. She wasn't strong enough to actually move me, but I took a few steps back anyways. She shook her head and looked at me with angry eyes, tears rolling down her cheeks, "Why would I ever give it to you!? It's special to me!" I was shocked that she was actually yelling.

I held out a hand towards her, "Mom, come on now. Let's get you back to bed. Th--"

Then she started yelling more, but she wasn't yelling anything coherent. I took one step towards her and she quickly picked up her jewelry box and threw it at me. Her aim was way off, so it missed me completely.

"Mom! Wh--" suddenly she collapsed, hitting her head on the edge of her bed. I threw myself onto my knees on the floor next to her and examined her, "Mom...mom." I pulled her head onto my lap, her eyes were closed and she was not responding.

The door creaked open behind me. "Is everything okay?" I could barely hear Anon's tired voice because my thoughts were screaming.

"Anon, call an ambulance, now!"

*  
*

I sat in a chair, slumped over with my left elbow on my knee and my face buried in my left hand, bouncing my right leg nervously as I stared at the doors they took my mom through to wheel her into surgery. The doctors quickly determined that she had a stroke from a clot in her brain, so they had to go in to remove it. I was worried about what was going to happen to her. However, I was also very confused about the episode she had before she collapsed.

I didn't understand why she was freaking out the necklace or why she didn't remember giving it to me. She did give it to me. It was the night that Anon became upset with me and left. She had to remember that. I sat there, stewing in my thoughts, trying to see if I could pick up on something I missed. Before I knew it, I felt Anon sit down in the seat next to me. She took my right hand in her free one and sipped from her fresh coffee. I looked down at our hands and rubbed my thump against her skin. Her skin was always so soft and warm.

"I'm sorry about this," I gently flung my left hand in the air, referring to us being stuck in this dingy hospital waiting room at such an ungodly hour.

She held her coffee in her lap and frowned at me, "Don't apologize. I care about your mother to, ya know? And, really, I am glad she has you to take care of her. And now she has me too." She replaced her frown with a small smile.

I looked at her seriously, "But does it ever frustrate you that your boyfriend has a mother that is so dependent on him?"

She sat there for a moment before she decided on her response, "No. Actually, seeing the way you are with her, it's so sweet. And I've heard that, if you want to know what kind of husband a guy will be, you can get a pretty good idea by the way he treats his mother."

I was surprised at her words, but I tried to maintain a neutral face. Did she really just say that? Has she been trying to decide if I'm husband material? The thought made me break my neutral face with a smile.

She smiled back, "What? What are you smiling about?"

As I opened my mouth to respond, the doctor walked up to us. I jerked myself into a standing position and greeted him. He told me that the surgery was a success, but they put her in a medically induced coma to see if that would help her recover due to her already poor health. He ended up taking us to the room they placed her as he talked about some medical stuff that completely went over my head. As soon as I saw her, I quickly made my way to the side of her bed and took her hand in mine. 

"She feels cold," I looked back at the doctor, "can we get her another blanket or turn up the heat in here?"

The doctor nodded his head as he wrote something on his clipboard, "I'll let the nurse know. Now, I'm just going to give you both a few minutes with her, but it would be best for the both of you to go ahead and go home to get some rest. She is stable and there is nothing to do now, but give her some time to heal."

He started to turn to leave, but then I called out for him to stop, "Doctor, she was acting strange before she collapsed. Like, she didn't remember things and she was kind of talking nonsense. Is that...normal?"

"Symptoms can differ from person to person, but confusion and behavioral changes can be symptoms of a stroke. So, yes." I thanked him and he hesitated a moment, probably to see if I had any other questions, and then left the room.

I looked back at my mother as Anon hugged me from behind, her arms wrapped around my waist and I felt her chest moved up and down, against my back, as she breathed. It was kind of scary seeing my mom with all the tubes and wires connected to her. Seeing her like this, made me feel like a failed her.

*  
*

***  
Anon's POV  
***

Arthur and I were back at Arthur's apartment. We stayed at the hospital for a while after Penny's surgery, but then they asked us to leave and come back later. I wanted to help Arthur keep his mind off what was going on with his mother, but I was so exhausted, I could barely think. Plus, he seemed to be stuck in his thoughts since we left the hospital.

We were changing the bedding on his mother's bed when he finally spoke, "I'm supposed to perform at Pogo's in a few days, but I probably shouldn't. Not with mom being in the hospital."

"Well, I understand you are worried about your mom, but the doctor said she would just be sleeping for at least a week or two. Plus, your mom wouldn't want you to cancel. She would tell you to put on a happy face and make those people laugh."

He looked at me with tired eyes, but he did pull his lips into a smile, "You're right, that's exactly what she would tell me."

I fluffed the last pillow and placed it on the bed, "Well, I'm going to head on to Sophie's now and get some sleep."

Arthur crawled into the bed, "You don't have to leave," he patted the empty side of the bed, "stay, please."

I smiled at him as I joined him in the bed, cuddling my body against him so that my back was against him. He spooned me and snuggled his face into my neck, placing a few kisses on my skin.

It was silent for a few minutes and I thought he fell asleep, so I started to drop off to sleep myself, until he spoke up softly, "I lied to you the other day."

Of course, my thoughts automatically went to something really bad and I felt nervous, "A-about what?"

"Well," he kind of hesitated, "when I said that I 'really, really like you', that wasn't true. I love you." His last three words were spoken so softly, I almost couldn't hear him.

I turned my body around so I was facing him, "You said you love me?"

"Yes, I love you." He was struggling to keep eye contact with me.

I stared into his beautiful eyes for a moment, wondering how I was so lucky to meet this sweet man. What did I do to deserve him? Karma must have gotten me confused with someone else because I truly didn't deserve him. I noticed that I was being silent for too long, which was probably causing him to mentally freak out, so I quickly pressed my lips against his. He kissed me back and I felt him smile against my lips. I ran my hand through his hair, tangling my fingers in his brown locks.

After a minute of kissing, I pulled away, "I love you too, Arthur." I cuddled myself against his chest and he held onto me tightly as we drifted off to sleep.


	19. Damage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️This chapter will have a section that does involve a rape scene. It won't be in crazy detail or anything, but I will also mark when that section starts and ends so you can totally skip it if you want.⚠️

I hung up my work phone for what felt like the hundredth time today. Today was busy. Very busy. To make things worse, the guys had been out of the office for three hours. They left for lunch, but should have been back two hours ago. My desk was covered with messages I had for them. 

_When are they going to be back?_

Then, as if they heard me, all three of them walked into the main room. Well, not walked, more like staggered. 

_Are they drunk?_

Just then, Andrew almost tripped on a phone wire and all three busted out laughing like hyenas. 

_Yep, fucking drunk._

I stood up from my desk and started organizing all of the messages I had, making three piles. Everyone in the room watched as they staggered their way to their room. For some reason, I felt incredibly embarrassed, as if their actions reflected on me. 

Johnny was the last one to make it to the door and when he got there, he looked at me and motioned his hand from me to the room, "Come on sweets, it looks like you have some things for us." His eyes flicked from my face to the messages in my hands and he smiled.

I walked into the room and he closed the door behind as he entered. All three sat down in their desks and turned to look at me. I proceeded to hand each of them their stack of messages. 

"Do you gentleman need anything else? Maybe some water?"

Andrew mindlessly threw his stack of messages on his desk, which just made them fly in different directions. This made Nicholas laugh.

Johnny looked at me with his creepy smile, "During our lunch break, me and the guys were talking and we realized something. We don't really talk to you about stuff that doesn't have to do with work."

I shrugged slightly, "Yeah, that's true, but you guys are so busy. So, I understand." 

I gave him a fake smile. I honestly didn't mind the lack of conversation I had with them, at this point, because they usually had to pepper in some inappropriate comments.

Johnny adjusted himself in his chair and took on a more serious face, "Well, we are going to fix that. Right now. Why don't you sit down?" He motioned to an extra chair that was by Nicholas' desk.

I shook my head, "I really shouldn't. It has been so busy today, the phone ha--"

Andrew interrupted, "Fuck the phone." His words sounded more aggressive than they needed to be.

I let out a small sigh and sat down in the chair, "So, what do you want to talk about?"

Johnny leaned his body forward a bit in his chair, "Well, there are some days you leave all gussied up. You got a boyfriend or something?"

Wow, straight to it. I thought he was going to ask me if I lived in Gotham my whole life or who my parents were. But no, he just wants to find out if I'm available or not. 

"Yes, I do. His name is Arthur."

Nicholas scoffed as he raised his hands at Johnny, "See, told ya, man. You owe me a beer." Andrew laughed.

Johnny's lips pressed into a hard line as he leaned back in his chair, "So, what does Arthur do? Like his job?"

I hesitated for a moment. I knew no matter how I answered this, they were going to be assholes about it. But I wasn't going to lie about it either because then it would make it seem like a was ashamed of or embarrassed by Arthur, which I wasn't. 

"He works as a clown-for-hire right now, but he is working on becoming a stand up comedian."

I was going to go on and tell them that Arthur had his show at Pogo's later tonight, but Johnny shot me a look of disbelief and interrupted, "So, wait, you are literally dating a clown?" 

It was silent for a split second before all three started laughing obnoxiously loud. They were literally slapping their knees. Andrew almost fell out his chair, he was so tickled by what had been said.

I stood up, not wanting to listen to their stupid laughing, and started to leave. However, before I opened the door, I felt someone grab my arm and pull me back. When I turned around, Johnny was basically in my face, just inches away. I could smell the strong smell of alcohol on his breath. He squeezed my arm so tightly that it almost hurt. 

"Poor Anon. Surely there is no way that clown is fucking you properly. I could help you with that," his hand ran down my arm to my hand, grabbed it and started moving it towards his crotch.

He said something else, but my mind was focused on stopping this before it went any further. I jerked my hand away from his grasp, quickly opened the door and ran out. I heard him stumble and fall behind me. It was a good thing he was drunk, he wouldn't be able to chase after me in the condition he was in. I heard several people gasp in surprise as I ran out of the room.

I headed straight to Elizabeth's desk to let her know what was going on. She told me to tell her when it got physical, so surely she could do something to actually help me with Johnny actions. All three of them really. Andrew and Nicholas were laughing right along as Johnny did what he did. They were no better.

However, when I got to her desk, she was gone. I looked to the right and didn't see anyone in their offices. I looked to the left and saw that Thomas' office doors were wide open. I looked around one more time and, again seeing absolutely no one in sight, decided to walk towards his office doors. Once I was under the huge door frame, I saw Thomas sitting at his desk, his head down as he focused on some paperwork, and I felt a sudden twinge of nervousness. 

_I'm I even allowed to talk to him? Should I just wait for Elizabeth?_

I started to turn away when he looked up from his desk and noticed me, "Anon, what are you doing up here? Surely the boys need you." Though his voice was stern, he flashed a smile at me.

_Too late, he already acknowledged me. I might as well go ahead and ask him where Elizabeth is._

I walked into his office and stopped just a few feet from his desk, "I needed to tell Elizabeth something. It is kind of important. When will she be back?"

Thomas sat back in his chair and looked at me, "Oh, she had to leave for the rest of the day. Her father is in the hospital. Maybe I can help you?"

I shifted my stance. I really didn't want to have to tell him that his workers were creeps. "Well, there are some issues going on between me and the guys. It has been going on basically since I started here, but it definitely reached a new level to--"

Thomas held up a hand to stop me from talking further. He looked at me seriously as he slowly stood up, walked past me to his office doors and closed them gently. However, after he closed them, I heard a slight click, like the click of a lock, and it made my hair stand up on the back of my neck. I froze. Surely I didn't really just hear that. My thoughts raced as he made his way back to his desk. 

He stood in front of his desk now, facing me, and leaned himself against the desk, almost like he was sitting on the edge of it, "This sounds serious, so I just want to make sure we won't be interrupted."

This did not feel right. "W-well, the guys have been very inappropriate since I started working for them. It was only verbal at first, but today it almost crossed into physical. Physical harassment, well, sexual harassment." I closed my eyes. I probably sounded like such an idiot to him.

"Okay, well, just go ahead and tell me what happened," his voice was calm. 

I opened my eyes, took a deep breath, and went into better detail of what happened as he listened. Once I was finished with my story, he folded his hands together and placed them on his lap. 

"Anon, I know about your past. You are a drug addict that has been arrested several times. How can I believe that you are telling the truth? Or that you aren't high right now and completely imagining that things are happening, when they really aren't?"

I was completely shocked by his response, "I'm not lying and I'm not high. I've been sober for months now. I promise."

"Okay," he stood up completely on his feet again and took a few steps towards me so that he was only and arm's length away, "so, if I were to believe you, this would have to be reported to HR. That requires a lot of paperwork and a lot of my time. The GCPD will have to investigate and everything. Which will only slow down what I am trying to do here," he motioned his hands around room. He was referring to Wayne Enterprises. "I already risked a lot giving you a job here and then this happens. What have I gained besides such a big inconvenience?"

I was severely confused. First he was trying to say I might be lying or imagining things and then he turns around and seemingly blames me for the hassle that a sexual assault case would be for his business. 

_What a fucking joke._

I had no idea how to respond, so I just stood there in silence. Suddenly, he reached out his right hand to my face and caressed my left cheek with his thumb, right below my eye. A touch that was so familiar because of the number of times Arthur touched me like that. But this wasn't Arthur, so this touch felt very wrong. 

"You are quite a beautiful girl, Anon. I don't blame Johnny for being interested in you." 

Shivers of fear and disgust shot through me. Was Thomas Wayne coming on to me? I physically shook my head in disbelief at my internal thought, "I'm going to go back to work now, Mr. Wayne. I'll just talk to Elizabeth later. Maybe she can talk to Mrs. Wayne. That way you don't have to be bothered. I'm sorry for interrupting your work."

I took a step back, but then he quickly grabbed onto my arms and jerked me closer to him, "Don't leave just yet, Anon," I gasped at his sudden roughness. He held onto me tightly as he shot me a look of curiosity, "Why do you go by Anon, anyways? Lenora is such a beautiful name. Is it okay if I call you Lenora?"

I tried to pull away, "You can call me whatever you like, but please let me go. Please."

"I will. Once we are finished with our meeting."

**⚠️Start of scene⚠️**

Thomas swung me around and pinned me against his desk so that my stomach was on the desk. He pulled my arms behind my back and took both of my wrists in one hand, holding them as tightly as he could.

"W-what ar--" I heard the jiggling of a belt buckle coming undone, "Help!" I managed to yell out before he slammed my head against the desk with an amazing amount of power. My vision blurred from the hit.

"I've helped you a lot, Lenora, and now you are asking for more help. Don't worry, I will help you, but I think I deserve a little help from you," he whispered into my ear in a rough voice before he continued to undo his belt and pants.

My head was pounding from being smacked against his desk and I felt myself detach from the situation, a situation that I was all too familiar with. I could almost see what was going on, as if I were an outsider looking in. The evil man pulling down the skirt and underwear of a poor, helpless woman. As he did what he wanted, I closed my eyes and hoped that someone would walk in and save her, but they never did.

A few minutes later, I felt Thomas' weight move away from me and I let myself fall to the ground. As I sat there with my back against the desk, I looked up at Thomas. Not really at him, more like through him.

**⚠️End of scene⚠️**

After he composed himself, he knelt down to my level and looked me in the eyes, "Don't even worry about trying to tell anyone. They will never believe a junkie like you over me." 

He looked down to my chest and stared. For a moment, I wondered if he was going to decide that he wasn't done with me. 

Until he took on a shocked expression, "Where did you get this?" 

He raised his hand and took my diamond necklace in between his index and middle fingers. His touch against my chest made me shudder with disgust. My silence made him angry; he grabbed my chin in his free hand and shook my head. 

"I said, where did you get this?"

"My boyfriend gave it to me."

He looked at me in disbelief and I flinched when he jerked at the necklace, breaking it and pulling it off my neck. I wanted to protest his action, but I couldn't. As much as that necklace meant to me, I couldn't bring myself to do anything about it. My body was shutting down.

He stood up as his gripped the necklace tightly, "Get yourself together and get the fuck out of my office." My stillness was rewarded a kick to my leg, "Hurry up!" I obeyed his commands and left.

As I made my way from Thomas' office to the ground floor lobby, I avoided eye contact with everyone. I held my head down as if they would be able to see what happened if they caught even just a glance of my eyes. Tears were forming in my eyes and I couldn't see anything clearly. I tried so hard to keep the tears from falling, but once I was outside of Wayne Tower, I couldn't hold them back anymore. The hot tears stung my face as I walked, but I wasn't sure where I was walking to. I couldn't think because my mind was being flooded with a mix of the horrible events that just happened and the horrible memories from my past. 

I needed something, anything, that could block them out.


	20. Feigned Success

***  
Arthur's POV:  
***

I paced and occasionally looked out towards the crowd from the side of the stage. From what I could see, every seat in Pogo's was full. I gazed at the people in the crowd that were hardly visible because of the smokey haze in the air. This familiar place, that I had been to so many times, felt so different tonight. Maybe it was the fact that I wasn't sitting at a table as an observer this time. No, this time, I was actually a participant. In a few short minutes, I would take my place on stage and begin my career as a stand up comedian. I would no longer be a nameless nobody in the crowd. This was the moment I had been waiting on for a long time. 

I had been extensively practicing my jokes and punchlines for a few days now. Sometimes I would perform for Anon and sometimes I would perform for my mom in her hospital room. She was still in the medically induced coma, but Anon said that she heard that people in a coma can sometimes still hear what is going on around them. So, I thought I would give my mom a show anyways.

Once Anon entered my thoughts, I slowly scanned the part of the crowd that I could see from where I was to see if I could spot Anon, but I didn't see her. 

_Maybe she is just sitting somewhere that is out of my view._

The crowd broke out into a laughter at the comedian's joke, who was currently on stage. This comedian had the crowd eating out of the palm of his hand and it was a bit nerve-wracking to know that I would have to follow his performance. I shook my head slightly to try and pull myself out of my thoughts. 

_I can't let my thoughts pull me off track._

I started to think about what Anon told me, "If you get nervous, just look at me and only me. Act like you are just performing for me and no one else. You'll be amazing, sweetheart."

A smile formed on my face as I recalled the pet name she started using for me shortly after we confessed our love for each other. _Love._ I mean, I knew I loved her from the moment I saw her, but to actually come to this point where she loved me too - it was all I could ever hope for.

My thoughts were again interrupted by the crowd, but this time they were cheering and clapping. As I turned my eyes to the stage, the comedian walked off as the host came back onto the stage. 

_Holy shit, this is it._

"Alright, now this next comic describes himself as a lifelong Gotham resident who, from a young age, was always told that his purpose in life was to bring laughter and joy into this cold, dark world. Um....okay," the crowd collectively let out small giggles, "Help me welcome Arthur Fleck, y'all."

The crowd lightly clapped as I made my way on stage. The host stood firmly at the microphone and watched me walk towards him. Once I stepped into the spotlight, I stuck out my hand to give him a handshake. He obliged the handshake and then made his way off stage. I turned towards the crowd and I had to squint my eyes from the bright lights as I scanned the crowd in another attempt to locate Anon. My eyes moved from one side of the room to the other a couple of times. 

_Surely she is here. She said she would be._

I tensed my face into a smile as I felt my chest start to burn with the all too familiar feeling. I tried to say hello, but it felt like my words be overtaken by giggles if I did. I let out some small, sharp exhales to try and release the growing pressure, but it didn't help. Small giggles escaped my lips and I tried harder to control them. My eyes begin to nervously flick from table to table. 

_Anon is supposed to be here. I need her here._

But no matter how much I looked or how much I mentally pleaded for her to be there, I didn't see her.

I knew that I couldn't continue my silence much longer or they would probably send the host back to pull me off the stage, so I went for it, "Hello, it's good to be here." 

My words started off strong, but they were quickly overtaken by a laugh. I turned around, so that my back was facing the crowd, and leaned my body forward as I slapped my hand against my mouth to quiet the loud laugh that made it's way from my chest. Once it was over, I took a deep breath and turned back around to try again, but I was shortly taken over by another laugh. I grabbed my hand at my throat, hopelessly trying and failing to stop the small laughs that were slipping through. I even tried fighting through the laugh by trudging through with my first joke, but it was just making it worse. I crossed my arms across my face and I began to feel like I wouldn't be able to overcome this fit.

_Suddenly, a gentle movement caught my attention. My eyes flicked over to it as I wheezed from trying to pull back a laugh. It was Anon. She was wearing the burgundy colored dress that I loved so much - the one she wore the night we made love. That was the reason I picked out the suit that I was wearing for my show tonight; I wanted something that matched that dress. While the suit was more red than burgundy, I was automatically drawn to it when I saw it in the thrift store. I knew I had to have it. It was a silent shout out to my love, but also a way to communicate that we were together._

_She was mine._

_She took a seat at the only open chair in the building, located near the back of the room. But that was okay. She didn't have to sit close to the stage. She was here. That's all that truly mattered. She shot me her beautiful smile and my laughter began to subside. I gave myself a moment to regain my breath and cleared my throat before I finished the joke I had started before._

_The room stayed silent, but I couldn't blame them for not laughing. I was too busy trying to control my fit to deliver the joke properly. I took out my journal and flipped through it to find my next joke. Once I found one that I thought would work, I delivered it, this time with more control and confidence. I no longer had the urge to the laugh and Anon was here to support me. This time, when I hit the punchline, the crowd laughed. I shot Anon a smile and she flashed a thumbs up at me._

_This continued through the rest of my set. I told a joke, the crowd laughed. All the way until my last joke. When I hit the final punchline, I spread out my arms in the air and the crowd broke out into applause. Applause. For me, Arthur Fleck. I took a bow as I took in the attention. My life was going to be different from here on out. I stood up straight again and looked at Anon. I was ready to face any changes that were about to come my way, as long as Anon was with me._

_Anon stood up from her chair and clapped for me. Her beautiful form was obvious to me, even in the dark smokey room, and it was basically beckoning me to go to her, to hold her in my arms. So, I obeyed. I gently stepped down from the stage onto the floor and made my way towards her. I could no longer see the crowd, just her. Once I made it to her, she jumped into my arms and I twirled her around before setting her feet back on the ground._

_As she spoke, the murmurs of the crowd faded to silence, "That was amazing! You did it!" She was looking up at me with admiration glinting in her eyes._

_I pecked her on the lips with a kiss, "I was worried that you weren't going to make it."_

_She frowned, "I know, I'm sorry I was a little late. Thomas Wayne made me stay at work late today, the jerk."_

_I caressed her jawline with the fingers of my right hand while keeping my left arm firmly around her body, "Well, you probably won't have to worry about working there much longer. I think my career is really going to pick up after tonight. Then I can just take care of you."_

_She pulled her frown into a small, devious smile as she grabbed both sides of the collar of my shirt, "Well, how about we hurry home so I can take care of you." She gave me a wink as she slightly pulled on my collar._

_"Mmm, yes please," I whispered into her neck before playfully biting her. She giggled as she started walking towards the doors to exit Pogo's, pulling me along behind her._

_Once we were outside of Pogo's, I quicken my pace so that I was next to her and wrapped my arm around her as we walked down the sidewalk towards the apartment. We had to stop at a crosswalk and I took the time to pull out a couple of cigarettes for us and light them. We both blew out a cloud of smoke at the same time and I watched as both clouds came together, as if they were dancing, until they dissipated into the air high above us._

_The walk light turned green and, as we started walking across the street, she playfully hit me on my arm with her elbow, "So, when are you going to perform again?"_

_When she asked me that question, I realized that I didn't even go talk to Pogo's manager after my set to see when he wanted to book me for another night. "I'll go back and talk to the manager at Pogo's tomorrow. I'm sure they will want me to sign up for another night soon."_

_She scoffed, "Of course they will! Did you see whole room give you a standing ovation?"_

_I took a drag from my cigarette and let out a small laugh, smoke escaping from my lips as I did, "I heard them cheering and clapping, but all I could see was you, love."_

_Anon flicked her cigarette onto the street, hooked her arms with mine and rested her head against my shoulder. I leaned my head over and kissed her on the top of her head. The scent of her that invaded my nose was absolutely intoxicating to me._

_I finished my cigarette just as we were coming up to the apartment complex, so I flicked it away. We made our way into the building and decided to try our luck with the elevator, not that I would mind being stuck in the elevator with her. I pressed the floor number button, stood next to Anon as the door slowly closed, and I took her hand in mine._

_There was a moment of silence between us, which allowed moments from the night to replay in my head. The bright lights. The smiling faces as laughter filled the air. Then I started to think about the future. My name on the marquee. My set being televised. Me as a guest on the Murray Franklin show. Just thinking about it all made me giddy to the point that I just had to move. I turned to Anon, raises our hands that were already locked together, placed my other hand on her waist, and led her into a dance. My gliding steps were interrupted by her hesitated steps, but I didn't mind._

_"Oh geez, Arthur, I don't know how to dance." She let out an embarrassed laugh as she weakly tried to pull away from me._

_I stopped dancing, but gently held onto her so she couldn't pull away. The elevator suddenly jerked to a stop, so I decided to use our trapped state for a dance lesson. I fixed my position so I was right in front of her and looked her in the eyes, "Let me show you how. Now, look down at our feet." She obeyed and I started to show her a few simple steps that we could practice. I counted out each step so she could figure out the rhythm. "Got it?"_

_She looked up at me with a very unsure face, "I-I think so. Maybe."_

_"Okay, let's just try it."_

_I started to lead the dance again. She had to keep her eyes on our feet and even count out loud like a child, but she followed along pretty well. Even when she made a mistake, she quickly got back into the rhythm. At some point, the elevator started working again and it was approaching our floor._

_"See? You got it! Okay, now, when the elevator door opens, we are going to dance to the apartment."_

_She shot her face up at me, "I don't know..."_

_I kissed her on the forehead, "You'll do fine, love."_

_We looked into each others eyes as the elevator dinged to let us know we arrived at the correct floor. The door slowly opened and I lead her into the dance, out of the elevator and down the hall. We went slowly at first so she could fall into the rhythm again. I hummed along as we danced, completely losing myself in the moment. A couple times, she had to break eye contact with me because she had to look down at our feet, but my eyes stayed firmly on her the whole time. Towards the end, she was getting a little more confident and we were able to dance a little faster._

_When we made it to the apartment door, I swung her into a dip, gave her a kiss on the lips and then brought her back up to a standing position, "See? Wasn't that fun?"_

_She giggled as she tucked her hair behind her ears, "Yeah, it was."_

_I pulled away from her, as I fished for my keys ans she locked one of her hands with my free hand as she watched me unlock the door. I carefully kicked it open and allowed her to enter first. She took a few steps in and started sliding off her jacket as I closed and locked the apartment door._

_She barely got her coat off by the time I grabbed it from her hands and gently threw it on the kitchen table. I placed my hands on her shoulders, turned her body around so that she was facing me, cupped her face in my hands, and pressed my lips deeply against hers. She automatically wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me back. We melted into each other and traded open-mouthed kisses until we were almost breathless._

_Suddenly, I felt her teeth latch onto and pull at my bottom lip. This sent a shock of excitement throughout my body and I took a few steps forward, forcing her back up against the wall. Her back made a gentle thump sound when she made contact with the wall. I made sure to press my hip into hers as I returned the favor and bit her bottom lip. She rewarded me with soft moan as she tangled her fingers in my hair and pulled slightly._

_My hands dropped down from her face and traced her form with my hands; starting from her neck, to her chest, to her waist and ending at her hips. I grabbed my hands under her thighs and pulled her up onto me and she quickly wrapped her legs around my waist, as I moved my mouth to her neck to kiss and lick her skin. She whispered in my ear that she wanted me and, of course, I wanted her too. I needed her. So, I pulled her back away from the wall and carried her into the bedroom._


	21. Relapse

***  
Arthur's POV:  
***

***THUMP***

My eyes shot open to the sound of something falling onto the ground, but all I could see was darkness.

_Did Anon fall out of the bed?_

I turned my body over to the nightstand that was to the left of me and turned on the old lamp. The soft light invaded just enough of the darkness to make it possible for me to see my surroundings. I turned back to look at the right side of the bed; it was empty. So, I crawled over the bed and peaked over the edge, looking down at the floor, to see if my initial though was correct. Nothing.

I quickly threw the covers off of my body and got out of the bed. The cold air hit me, causing me to shiver as goosebumps formed on every inch of my skin. I was only wearing boxers, so I located my pajama pants and a plain white shirt and slipped them on, not that they really saved me from the chilly air.

I left the bedroom and walked into the darkness of the living room, feeling around the wall for the light switch, which I eventually found. The light flicked on and my eyes automatically closed at the harsh light. I rubbed at my eyes and slowly forced them back open so I could scan the apartment. She wasn't in the living room, she wasn't in the kitchen, and I didn't hear any noises coming from the bathroom. My eyes found the clock and I saw that it was a little after 3 o'clock in the morning.

_Where is she?_

***THUMP***

I jerked my attention to the door. The sound came from the hallway. I made my way to the door and slowly undid the locks, waiting to see if anything else transpired before I opened the door to the unknown. I thought I could hear small, pained groans from a soft voice. The voice of a woman. This caused my body to take on a sense of urgency and I quickly flung the door open.

There was a woman on the ground, on her hands and knees, trying to get up off the hallway floor. However, she didn't seem very in control of her body. She was wearing clothes that looked very familiar to me and her long, blonde hair was disheveled and hanging down, hiding her face from me.

I kneeled down next to her, but hesitated to touch her, "Ma'am, are you okay? Can I help you up?"

She ignored me and, giving up on trying to stand, moved into a sitting position, her bottom resting on her legs. She ran one of her hands through her hair messily and brushed back most of the hair that was covering her face. I gaped with surprise when I realized this woman was Anon. 

"W-what are you doing out here, love?"

She started at me blankly. Her blue and green eyes were bloodshot and the pupils were highly constricted, which made it look like she didn't have pupils at all. I also noticed that she had a bloody nose.

I stared back at her, completely and utterly confused by the state she was in. We came home from Pogo's, danced, made love, talked, and eventually went to sleep in each other's arms. So why was she out here in the hallway? Why was she in this horrible state? My brain felt like it was overheating, trying to put this confusing puzzle together. I tried to ask her another question, but I only let out a few stuttered words.

I almost didn't notice when she finally started to speak, "I don't...feel..." before she could finish, she leaned her head down and threw up a little bit, the contents spilling onto her chest and lap.

"Shit," I pulled off my shirt and wiped her face, chest and lap with it. 

Once I cleaned her up the best I could, I positioned myself onto my feet and moved next to her so I could pull one of her arms over my shoulders and wrap my free arm around her body. I warned her that I was about to stand her up, but she didn't really respond. I went ahead and slowly stood up, bringing her up with me. She did have her feet on the ground, but I was supporting most of her weight; she would definitely fall back down if I let go of her. I decided to let go of her arm that was over my shoulders and I reached down to the back of her knees and pulled her legs up so that I was carrying her bridal-style. She instinctively wrapped her arms around my neck.

I walked into the apartment, kicked the apartment door closed, and took her into the bathroom. Not knowing what else to do and not sure if she was going to get sick again or not, I placed her down on the floor next to the toilet so that she could use it as support to sit up and use it if she got sick again. I sat myself down in front of her to try and figure out what was going on.

I moved my face close to hers, cupped her face in my hands, and looked her directly in the eyes, "Anon, what happened? I'm really confused."

She pushed my arms away from her, "Ple--don't." She brought her knees up to her chest, hugged onto them tightly, and hid her face in her arms.

I sighed in frustration. It seemed like I wouldn't be getting any answers tonight. I scooted myself to the side of the bathtub so I could lean the right side of my body against it. I rested my right elbow on the tub and covered my face with my hand, closing my eyes for a few moments to try and collect myself.

I jerked when I heard her quickly grab onto the toilet and throw up again. Whatever happened, her stomach was obviously bothering her. I slowly forced myself up to stand. Yes, I was severely confused and frustrated that she wasn't telling me what happened, but obviously something happened that was making her feel sick. I needed to push my confusion and frustration aside for now and just focus on helping her get over...whatever this was.

I turned to the tub, turned the faucet on and placed my fingers of one hand under the stream of water as I adjusted the temperature with my other hand. I got the water to a comfortable, warm temperature and inserted the plug so that the tub would begin to fill up. Whenever my stomach bothered me, a bath always seemed to help. So, I decided to try that. As the tub was filling up, I walked over to Anon and kneeled down beside her.

She was still holding her head above the toilet, so I rubbed her back, "Let's get you in the tub. A warm bath will make you feel better."

I pulled her up into a standing position and helped her get undressed. In reality, she was basically just leaning against me as I struggled to take off her soiled clothes without letting her fall over. It was during this time that I came to the realization that she was wearing her work clothes.

_Why is she wearing her work clothes? She was wearing her burgundy dress earlier._

I shook my head, upset that my list of questions was only growing and there was no way for me to get any answers.

Once I successfully removed all of her clothing, I helped her walk over to the tub and sit down in the water. She returned her knees to her chest and hugged onto her legs as she stared at the water. I soaked a small wash cloth in the water and then lathered a bar of soap with it so that I could wash her body. I hummed a song as I rubbed the wash cloth on her back.

"I'm sorry," her voice was muffled because her mouth was partially covered by her arms.

I didn't stop what I was doing, but I arched my eyebrow at her, "What are you sorry for, love?"

"You we--," her voice broke and then she started crying.

*  
*

***  
Anon's POV:  
***

I woke up to the nauseatingly bright sunlight burning through the curtains of Penny's bedroom and the overwhelming feeling of pain that I had been able to escape whilst asleep. However, now that I was awake, it would be sure to show me no mercy. My head felt like it was going to split open and my stomach churned against itself. I let out a pained groan as I curled myself into a tight ball and pulled the covers over my head to shut out the light. As I laid there, memories began to flash in the darkness.

_Thomas Wayne. Sam. A little baggy of a white substance. Arthur taking care of me._

I could feel the tears flooding my eyes. Usually I would try to fight the tears, but not this time. I was hurting. I was frustrated. I was disappointed. All the progress I've made, gone. Months of running a race only to be thrown back to the starting line in a split second.

_Because of Thomas Wayne._

Suddenly, I felt a small pressure against my shoulder, which then moved down my back, "Anon?"

Hearing Arthur's soft voice was comforting, but part of me was nervous to face him. How was he going to react to what I had to tell him? Or did he already know what happened? I couldn't be sure what I had or hadn't said to him up to this point. A lot of it was a blur. 

I heard him repeat my name again, so I removed the covers from my head and locked eyes with him. He looked like a big ball of stress; his greasy hair was disheveled, he had bags under his eyes, and he was fidgeting. And I knew that he was like this because of me. I was the one causing him stress, which only made me feel worse. I started to push myself into a sitting position so I could sit myself against the headboard. 

Arthur aided me in my movements until I was comfortable, "Do y--What do you need me to do?"

"I really need something for my head and stomach. They are killing me."

Without any delay, he left the bedroom to fetch what I asked for. It didn't even take him a minute to come back into the room with a cup of water and a few pills. As he handed them to me, I thanked him. He sat down on the bed next to me as I swallowed the pills down with a big gulp of water.

He spoke softly while he looked down at his fidgeting hands. "I'm glad your awake. You've been out of it for over 24 hours now. I was really worried about you. You got really bad for a little while. Sophie sai--"

I looked down and traced the edge of the cup with my finger, "Sophie saw me like this?"

Arthur nodded his head, "I'm sorry, but I didn't know what else to do. You didn't want me to call an ambulance. So, I asked Sophie to come over. She said it looked like you overdosed. She understood that you probably didn't want to go to the hospital because your probation officer might find out, so she had her friend, that is a nurse, come over and help."

I pressed my lips into a hard line, "I'm sorry, Arthur. I don't remember much at all, but I'm sure it was scary an---"

He interrupted me with a firm voice, "It was scary. I thought I was going to lose you. On top of that, it was very confusing. I mean, you overdosed? I don't understand what happened at all."

"Can we please talk about it later? I promise we will talk about it, but I just woke up and I feel awful."

He sighed in frustration, "Anon, I haven't gotten any sleep because I can't shut off my thoughts," he paused in attempt to control his slowly heating emotions, "I'm sorry you feel bad, but I need you to tell me now. I just don't understand how we come home from Pogo's, make love, go to sleep and then I find you, overdosed, in the hallway at 3am in the morning."

I shot him a perplexed look, even though he still looking at his hands, "What are you talking about? I didn't go to Pogo's. We didn't make love. "

He shot me a look of disbelief and then his brows furrowed, "Yes. You did. We did," his voice was low and serious.

I slightly cut one of my hands through the air, determined to stop this conversation in its tracks, "Okay, let's just back up for a second. I'll tell you what happened. I'll start from the beginning." 

He nodded his head in agreement and I told him everything that happened. Starting with the guys coming back late from lunch to me ending up in Sam's apartment to get high.

Arthur giggled, "No. You were... I could have sworn." He was trying to put his thoughts together, but his giggles kept interrupting.

I rubbed his back, "I wish that night went the way you thought it did, but it didn't." I paused for a moment, "H-have you been taking your medicine?" 

He shook his head as a laughed forced it's way from his throat. We sat there until his fit finally subsided.

He took a deep breath, "So, you're saying that while I was at Pogo's, imagining you were there -imagining all of the things that happened after that - you were doing heroin with Sam because Thomas Wayne...," his words were dripping with disappointment and he couldn't finish the sentence.

I held my head down to avoid his gaze and tears escaped my eyes, "I know your disappointed in me. I'm sorry."

He gently took my chin in his thumb and index finger, slowly bringing my face towards him so that our eyes met. As I looked into his eyes, he wiped my tears from my left cheek with his right thumb, "I'm not disappointed in you, love. I'm disappointed in me. I didn't protect you."

He still held his hand up to my face, so I placed my left hand in the crook if his elbow, "You couldn't have known that it was going to happen. You can't be with me 24/7. Please don't think about it like that."

He shook his head slightly and shot his eyes toward the ceiling. He was trying his best not to cry in front of me. He then looked back at me, pulled me towards him slightly, and rested his forehead against mine, "I'm sorry, Anon."

I tried to keep any further tears from falling, "No, I'm sorry. You were right. Taking that job was a mistake."

He shook his head, his forehead still resting on mine, "He is going to get what he deserves, Anon."

I pulled myself away, "You're right. He is. I'm going to go to the GCPD. I'm going to report what he did to me."


	22. GCPD

***  
Anon's POV:  
***

Arthur and I stood in front of the GCPD headquarters. Our travel from the apartment was plagued with silence and an uneasy feeling. I was still suffering with headache/nausea, as I tried to fight off the urge to get high again, and Arthur was lost in his head. I honestly couldn't even pick up on what he might be thinking or feeling because his face was blank, emotionless. He was standing beside me, holding my hand, but he also wasn't.

As we walked in, the first thing I noticed was how busy it was. The placed hummed with the chatter of so many people. There were officers sitting at their desks filling out paperwork or talking on their phones, officers escorting people in and out of interrogation rooms, and officers separated in different rooms having meetings. There were also people screaming about their innocence and women crying about their run away children. It was crazier and noisier than Gotham Time Square, which really shouldn't be shocking since Gotham is basically rotted to the core with crime.

I let go of Arthur's hand and walked up to the first officer I saw that was just standing around doing nothing, "Excuse me, sir, I need to report something."

He huffed, "Report what?"

"A...," I hesitated, "rape."

"Oh," he turned his eyes away from me, obviously embarrassed by what I said, "um, yeah, okay. Sit over there on the bench and I'll have someone come get you."

He pointed his finger and my eyes darted in the direction he was pointing. I saw the bench he was speaking of and made my way over to it. Arthur was too busy looking around the building to notice that I had walked away. I sat down on the bench and hugged myself tightly. The medicine that Arthur gave me earlier wasn't really cutting through pain much at all. All I could think about was going back to the apartment, crawling into the bed, and sleeping to escape the pain.

_Getting high would actually take away the pain completely._

I rested my elbows on my knees and buried my face in my hands as I sighed in frustration. Arthur heard this and took a seat next to me on the bench. I could feel him staring at me.

"I'm okay. Just--I can't wait to be back in bed."

He gently placed his hand on my back and traced my spine with his finger, making my back tingle, "You're not okay. I--"

I looked at him, "I know you don't think I should do this, but I'm going to. Thomas shouldn't get away with this."

He furrowed his brows, "I agree, he shouldn't. He...he won't, but I don't think the GCPD will help us."

I waved my hands in the air in frustration, "What else is there for us to do, Arthur?!" My words came out harsh.

He withdrew his hand from my back and looked down at the floor, "I...," he shook his head, "don't know."

I dropped my hands from the air and placed one on his knee, which was starting to bounce nervously, "I'm sorry. I--"

He looked up and interrupted me as if he knew what I was going to say, "Don't apologize, love. I understand." 

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in against his chest. I cuddled against him, closed my eyes, and focused on the rhythm of his heartbeat.

**Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum**

I'm not sure how long we sat there before I felt a tapping on my shoulder. My eyes fluttered open and I saw a man looking down at us, so I quickly stood up. My quick movement made the throbbing in my head more intense.

"Hello, my name is Detective Burke. I was told you wanted to report a rape?" I nodded my head. "Okay, follow me." 

He motioned for me to follow him as he started walking away. I looked down at Arthur, who was still sitting on the bench, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. 

As I pulled away, he gently grabbed my hand, "You want me to come with you?"

"No, please, stay here. I'll be right back," I squeezed his hand before I released it and then started walking away.

"I'll be right here," he called out behind me.

I caught up to the detective and he lead me to an empty interrogation room. He opened the door and motioned for me to go in. I walked into the room, which felt like an icebox, and took a seat in one of the chairs. The chair was completely metal, so I felt like I was sitting on a block of ice.

_Is this how they get people to confess? Do they freeze them out and promise them heat if they cooperate?_

As I hugged myself and rubbed my hands against my arms to generate some kind of heat, I looked around the small room. It was mostly just plain brick walls except for the wall to the right that had a huge mirror.

I wonder if that is a two-way mirror. Then again, why would they have just a plain mirror in an interrogation room? I wonder if someone is behind it, watching us right now.

As I was focused on the mirror, the detective came into the room, closed the door, and took a seat in the chair directly across from me. He scooted his chair closer to the table, which made a horrible screeching sound that echoed in the small room. Then, he laid down a notepad on the table in front of him and pulled out a pen. First he gathered basic information from me, like my name, address, phone number, and such. I gave him Sophie's phone number and address, mainly just from habit. Either way, they would be able to reach me.

After all of that was done, he moved on to the reason we were there, "Okay, please tell me what happened. Start with the name or description of the suspect."

I forced myself to sit up as straight as I could, even though I was still aching everywhere, "His name is Thomas Wayne."

The detective jerked with surprise. If he had been drinking something, he surely would have spit it out, "W-who?"

"Thomas Wayne, like, the owner of Wayne Enterprises."

He arched an eyebrow at me for a moment, "So, you're telling me that Thomas Wayne of Wayne Enterprises raped you," I nodded and he let out a sharp exhale, "Okay, tell me everything."

I took a deep breath and told him everything that happened, in excruciating detail. I didn't want to leave anything out because I wanted to show that I wasn't lying. He asked me different questions and I answered them the best I could. It felt like we were in that room forever before he seemed content with the information he had.

"So, anything else you need to add before we end our conversation?" I shook my head. "Okay, well, I will see what I can find. I'll be in touch with you in a few days." He stood up from his chair.

I looked up at him, still seated, "So, that's it. Now I just wait?"

He walked to the door and opened it, "Yep, I have to conduct an investigation. I'll be in touch with you as soon as I can."

I left the room and started my way back to Arthur, feeling a little unsure of what would happen next. Suddenly, I heard Thomas Wayne's voice.

_"Don't even worry about trying to tell anyone. They will never believe a junkie like you over me."_

As those words traveled through my head, my thoughts started to race and I wondered if the detective could pick up that I was currently coming down from drug use. Of course he could, he is a detective! What if he didn't believe me because of that? I suddenly felt like I was out of breath, even though I was calming walking through the crowd of officers. I brought my hands up to my chest and my heart was beating wildly.

_I can't breathe. The detective didn't believe me. Thomas is going to get away with this. I can't breathe. I'm a fucking drug addict and that's all I'll ever be. Why would any one believe me? My heart is beating way too fast. Arthur deserves better than me. Am I having a heart attack? I can't breathe._

Before I knew it, I was hyperventilating in the middle of the police department and I was silently freaking out inside my mind as my fingers started to tingle and the back of my head felt numb. I heard a few officers ask me if I was okay and I let out a shaky reply, letting them know that I was fine and I pushed myself to walk forward. I fidgeted with a lock of my hair as I aimlessly walked around, unable to focus on looking for Arthur.

Arthur must have spotted me because he suddenly came up to me, seemingly concerned, "Anon, are you okay? What happened? You look pale."

I grabbed his hand, "Let's go home. I need to go home."

He tried to ask me questions as we exited the building, but I couldn't bring myself to answer. I was trying to focus and slow down my breathing. Feeling the chilly, outside air against my face helped, so I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, closed my eyes, and let the cold sting my skin.

_Breathe. Feel the cold air. You're okay. Breathe._

People were obviously frustrated that we were standing still in the middle of the sidewalk because I felt a few of them push against me and Arthur, but I didn't care.

Once I was able to calm myself, I looked at Arthur and noticed that he was trying to suppress some laughter, so I started to rub his shoulder with my free hand to calm him. Geez, what a mess we were together. In the middle of a Gotham sidewalk, me pulling myself out of an anxiety attack that was throwing Arthur into a laughing fit because of his uncertainty of the situation.

Thankfully, he didn't go into a full fit and it didn't take him too long to recover, "What was that just now?"

"I had an anxiety attack. It's been a while since I had one, but I use to have them a lot. I guess what happened with Thomas kind of...," my voice trailed off at the end as I watched Arthur's concerned face tensed with a bit of anger. "Let's just go home. Okay?"

He nodded his head in agreement and we headed back to the apartment.


	23. Burden

***  
Anon's POV:  
***

It had been a few days since I went to the police station to make my report against Thomas Wayne and I hadn't heard anything back yet. During this time, I spent my days battling with withdraw symptoms, terrible urges and anxiety attacks. Arthur and Sophie were basically taking turns babysitting me through the days to help me get through it. 

Arthur had the rough end of the deal, though, because not only was he taking care of me during the day and working, he was also taking care of me at night. He was getting me through my anxiety attacks and fighting to keep me in the apartment when I started to give into my urges. 

He tried to convince me that he was getting enough sleep, but I knew that he wasn't. I hated myself for being such a burden for him and I knew I was being less than pleasant to him when I fought with him about leaving the apartment, but he was still being so supportive in such a sweet way. I could never express how much it meant to me and I could never thank him enough for everything he was doing. He was my hero.

Today, the withdraw symptoms weren't as bad, but the urges still weren't going away. I spent most of the day watching TV with Sophie and GiGi, trying to keep my thoughts in check, but I was getting restless. I wanted to go home and be with Arthur. He left earlier in the day to go to work, but was due to be back soon.

Sophie's voice pulled my attention from the TV, "Hey, Anon, I just wanted to let you know that I can't take anymore days off work. My boss is starting to get pissed. I'm sorry."

I waved my hand at her, "No, don't apologize. It's fine. I understand." I reached out and squeezed her hand, "Thanks for hanging out with me for a couple of days. I really do appreciate it."

She squeezed my hand back, "No problem, girl. I know you'd do the same for me." 

At that moment, the phone rang, so she got up from the couch to answer it. "Hello? Oh, let me see. Hold on." She held her hand over the mouthpiece of the phone and whispered towards me, "It's your probation officer." I gave her a slow, exaggerated head shake to let her know I did not want to speak to him, so she uncovered the mouthpiece and spoke into the phone, "Sorry, she must have left. I'll let her know you called. Okay, I understand." She hung up and sat back down on the couch.

"What did he say?"

"He just said he needed to speak with you. Said it was important."

I tried to rack my brain about what he would need to talk to me about. I didn't have a scheduled appointment with him or a drug test until next week, so it wasn't like I missed anything like that. I did have to see my counselor soon, but even that was still a couple of days away. Now that I was actively thinking about these things, I started to worry about him finding out that I had a relapse and what would happen if he did.

_Blackgate. Being separated from Arthur._

Before I could get too wrapped up in my thoughts, there was knock at the door. I quickly got up from the couch and said my goodbyes to Sophie and GiGi because I knew it was Arthur. When I opened the door, it revealed Arthur in his clown getup. The sight of him made me smile.

There was a squeal behind me, "Momma, it's a clown!" GiGi jumped from the couch, ran up beside me, and looked up at Arthur, "Hi, Mr. Clown. My name is GiGi."

I heard Sophie call out to try and pull GiGi's attention away from Arthur as he kneeled down to GiGi's level, "My name is Carnival. It's nice to meet you, GiGi. Do you wanna be a clown too?" His voice was so chirpy when he spoke to her.

GiGi giggled, "Yes!"

He waved one of his hands around, in front of her face, as he sneaked his other hand in his pocket. She was mesmerized by the hand he was waving around, so he moved his other hand from his pocket to behind her ear. He stopped waving his hand, "What is this behind your ear?!" He pulled his hand from behind her ear and brought it in front of her eyes, revealing a big, red clown nose. She had a big smile on her face as he placed it on her nose, "There, you're a clown now!"

She jumped towards him, wrapping her little arms around his neck, and hugged him tightly. Arthur gave her a small hug back before GiGi pulled away and ran back to her mom to show off her new nose. It was such a sweet little interaction.

Arthur stood back up, took my hand in his, and looked at Sophie, "Thanks for hanging out with Anon today." He looked at me, "Let's go, love."

Sophie said goodbye as she closed the door behind us and we made our way to our apartment. As soon as we entered the apartment, I went to the kitchen to make dinner and Arthur went into the bathroom to take off his face paint and change his clothes.

While I was cleaning out a pan I was going to use, I looked into the living room and saw Penny's empty chair. She was still in the hospital. They kept her on the coma inducing medicine longer than originally planned, but the doctor said he would be taking her off of it soon. Once he did that, we would have to wait and see if she would wake up or not. Of course I was hoping that she would. Not only for her sake, but also for Arthur's. With everything going on, he needed something good to happen.

After a while, Arthur walked into the kitchen, all cleaned up, and started helping me with dinner, "Have you heard from the GCPD?"

I shook my head, "Nope. Did you go by the hospital today?"

"Yeah, I did. They lowered the medicine today and they'll cut it off completely by tonight. So, hopefully she will wake up tomorrow."

I rubbed his back as I passed by him to get into the refrigerator, "She will."

He let out a sigh, "I hope so."

"How was work?"

"It was fine. I actually picked up a job at the children's hospital tomorrow. So, that will be more fun than flinging around a sign for a business."

I smiled at him, "That will be more fun! Those kids will love you. GiGi sure did."

He exhaled a small laugh, "Yeah, it is definitely easier to make kids happy." 

Suddenly the phone rang. Arthur stopped what he was doing to answer it, "Hello? Yes, this is Arthur. Oh. Well, I'm sorry, but some things have come up and we won't be able to take it. Yeah, thank you." He hung up and went back to what he had been doing.

I waited a few minutes to see if he was going to tell me what the call was about, but he didn't.

"Who was that?"

He looked at me through the corners of his eyes, "The guy with the apartment. We were approved."

I frowned and let the room fall into a silence as we finished cooking dinner and setting the table. That phone call was just another reminder that my life had been derailed. We were going to move into a slightly better apartment, so there would be more room for us when Penny came back home. However, that obviously wasn't happening now. 

Part of me wondered if Martha or Elizabeth questioned Thomas about me not showing up at work anymore. Surely they did? I thought they cared about me, but neither one even tried to contact me to see if I was okay. Not that I would know what to say to them if they did.

_'Yeah, I left because good ol' Thomas Wayne, your husband...your boss, raped me.' That would go over well._

Once we were ready to eat, we sat down at the table across from each other and took turns making our plates. As I watched him plate his food, I really took notice of the bags under his beautiful eyes. He was definitely wearing himself out between working, worrying about his mother and now taking care of me. And now, I would have to tell him that hanging out with Sophie was not an option tomorrow.

_God, I am such a burden._

Maybe I needed to just try and have a normal day on my own tomorrow. I could keep myself busy by job searching, because I really did need a job anyways. I let the silence between us continue for a little while so we could eat a bit before I said anything to Arthur about it.

"You mentioned you had a job lined up tomorrow. Sophie has work as well," he shot me a concerned look, "so I think I'll do some job searching tomorrow." I smiled at him, trying to show that I wasn't concerned about it even though I totally was.

He shook his head, "I don't think that's a good idea." I tried to protest, but he quickly shut me down, "No! I'm not leaving you alone!" He was almost yelling at me, but I didn't take it personally. He was exhausted. He lowered his voice, "I'm sorry, but I can't let you risk that right now. I have to protect you."

"You can't protect me 24/7, Arthur. I mean, look at you. You're wearing yourself thin because of me. You can't keep this up."

He grabbed my hand and rubbed his thumb against my skin, "I'll do whatever I need to do to keep you safe."

I pressed my lips into a hard line, debating if I was going to respond or not. I knew he was still blaming himself for what happened, which was absolutely ridiculous, but I couldn't convince him otherwise. So, I flashed him a weak smile and dropped it. We went back to eating and silence dominated the room once again.

There were still times I found myself surprised that I was with someone like Arthur. Someone who legitimately cared about me and wanted the best for me.

After a while, Arthur finally broke the silence, "I have an idea," I looked at him with curiosity, "how about you come with me to the children's hospital?"

I raised an eyebrow at him, "Like, while you work?"

A wide grin occupied his face, "Yeah! You could be," he pursed his lips as he considered his next words, "my clown assistant!"

I huffed out a small laugh, "What? I don't know..." I looked around nervously trying to think of a reason I couldn't do that.

He laughed at my reaction, "Aw, come on! It will be fun! You could dress up and help me with my act," one side of my mouth hitched into a smile, "Think of the girls at the hospital. They would like to see a girl clown, don't ya think?"

I propped my elbow on the table and placed my chin in my hand, as I looked into his eyes that sparked with excitement at his idea. Could I really say no to him? He was doing so much for me. It wouldn't be fair for me to turn him down.

"Okay, let's do it."


	24. Couple of Clowns

***  
Anon's POV:  
***

Arthur and I walked into the big common room at Ha Ha's. Per usual, there were several men lounging in the room, half dressed in their clown getups, either talking about the most recent news story or silently playing cards. Gary was in the room and was the only one that greeted us. I really liked Gary, he was nice.

Arthur showed me where the bathroom was so I could get changed into my clown getup. Part of me still couldn't believe I was going through with this. I locked myself in the bathroom and pulled my thrift store finds out of my purple backpack and took a second look at each item. I had no idea if what I picked out would make me a good looking clown or not, but I liked all of the different colors.

After I changed my clothes, I emerged from the bathroom and made shy steps towards Arthur. I could feel the heat rush to my cheeks as the guys in the room took their turns looking at me. I caught my reflection in mirrors of the vanities as I passed by them. When I got to the vanity that was next to the one that Arthur was at, I took a good look at myself.

I was wearing: A short sleeve yellow dress that had a few layered ruffles at the end that went to right above my knee with a faded flannel blazer that was colored with olive green, orange, pink, blue, red, teal, yellow and purple. I also had on one red knee high sock, one teal knee high sock, brown shoes, and an olive green scarf to complete the look. I went simple with my hair and just pulled it into two high, side pigtails.

I wasn't sure how to feel about my appearance. I guess it was kind of silly looking and that's the point of a clown, right? To be silly?

I turned my attention to Arthur, who was sitting down, shirtless, applying his white face paint and didn't notice that I was standing next too him. I cleared my throat, which caused him to look up into my direction and eye me from head to toe.

Arthur's expression, as he inspected me, was blank. His nothing-but-white face reminded me of a kabuki mask and it gave me an unsettling feeling for some reason. At least until he flashed me a big smile, "You look great! Now you just gotta paint your face." He turned back toward the mirror to apply the rest of his face paint.

I stood there and watched him as he applied the blue triangles above and below his eyes, the red eyebrows, and the red smile. Once he was satisfied with what he did, he got up to get dressed and I slid into his seat at the vanity and looked at the different colored face paints he had. Most of his paints were unused, except for the white, red and blue of course. So, I decided to make use of some of the other colors.

I applied the white face paint and then decided to focus on my eyes first. I painted a purple circle around my left eye that went all the way to my eyebrow, followed the curve of my brow and made it's way around to line my cheekbone. Once the outline for the circle was completed, I colored it in with the purple. For my right eye, I just did a pink triangle under the eye, which I colored in pink, and then painted a small pink dot at tip of the triangle. I was being a perfectionist about it, so it took me a while to do this. I was about to start on my red smile when Arthur came up behind me. He was completely decked out as Carnival.

I looked at him in the mirror, "Hey you."

"Hey love," he sat in the chair at the vanity next to us and scooted it close to me, "Here, let me," he reached for the paint brush I was holding and I handed it to him as I turned my body to face him.

I had already cleaned the brush, so he rubbed the bristles against the red paint and brought the brush to my face as he leaned his body in closer so his face was only inches in front of mine. He started by making gentle strokes against my right cheek to start forming the smile and made very careful movements with the brush as he drew out the whole outline for the smile. The bristles tickled my skin, so I had to work very hard to keep myself still; I didn't want to mess up his work because be seemed to take it very seriously. Every time he pulled the brush away to replenish the paint, he would carefully assess his work. When he started coloring in the smile, he slowly ran the bristles across my lips, almost in a sensual way. Or was I imagining that? 

After what happened with Thomas, I haven't been able to bring myself to show Arthur much physical affection besides hugs, holding hands, and quick kisses on the cheek. I also noticed that Arthur pulled himself back from a lot of physical affection, probably to be considerate of what happened and avoid sending me into an anxiety attack. So for me, this moment, as innocent as it was, felt oddly intimate and exciting.

Arthur pulled his body away as he placed the brush on the vanity, "There, all done."

I placed my hands on his knees and smiled at him, "I love you, Arthur."

He smiled, "I love you too, Bonnie."

I squinted my eyes at him, "Bonnie?"

He let out a small laugh, "Your clown name. We are Bonnie and Carnival!" He took my hands in his and stood up, making me stand up with him, "We can call you Princess Bonnie, if you like, Princess of the Clowns," his voice was raised like he was making an announcement to everyone within earshot. Then, he made a face - as if he just caught himself saying too much, dropped one of my hands and nervously scratched the back of his neck with his now free hand, "I mean, if you even like it."

I giggled, "I love it, but if I'm going to have a fancy title like that, you should too. I think it should be: Carnival, the Clown Prince of Comedy."

He flashed a toothy grin at me, "I love the sound of that. We are going to make a great team, Bonnie." 

Quiet snickering from the room caused me to eye the floor and adjust my stance nervously. Arthur noticed my sudden change of demeanor and hooked one of his arms with mine. 

"Come on, the kids are waiting for us."

I nodded in agreement and we made our way out of Ha Ha's. Just as we made it out onto the street outside of Ha Ha's, a bus was pulling up to the nearby bus stop so we decided to board it.

Having everyone stare at us as we boarded the bus and located a seat reminded me that I was dressed as a clown, out in public, and the feelings of self-consciousness and insecurity started to take over. I was use to people not taking any notice of me, which I liked, so I was very sensitive to the constant stares people were giving me. Every time someone boarded the bus, they would stare until they found a seat. I hated it. 

There was; however, one pair of eyes that I was okay with - a little boy, who was probably 3 years old, that was sitting in front of us with his mom. They boarded the bus a few stops after us and ever since then, he locked his eyes on me and never looked away. He hardly blinked. He was giving me a blank stare, but I couldn't help but smile at him.

Arthur gently nudged me with his elbow, "Make him smile, Princess Bonnie."

"Ummm..." my mind suddenly stalled from being thrown on the spot and I wasn't sure what to do. 

Even though I thought kids were cute, I didn't have a lot of experience with them. However, I had seen parents play peek-a-boo with their kids before, so I decided to just copy what I had seen. 

I covered my face, waited a few seconds, and then revealed my face with a big smile, "peek-a-boo!"

The boy exhaled a tiny laugh as his lips snapped into a smile. So, I did it again to see if he would laugh again, which he did. I did it several more times, but did different silly faces and he ended up in a rolling laugh that disrupted the silence of the bus.

I turned my attention to Arthur because he was laughing, which made his green eyes light up, "Bonnie, you're going to do just fine at the children's hospital," he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to him.

I shook my head at the fact he kept calling me Bonnie and leaned against him as I looked out the window. I watched the people and buildings of Gotham come in and out of my view as the bus sped through the traffic. The bus stopped quite a few times before it pulled up in front of a huge building that was completely painted in a dingy shade of pepto-bismol pink. This was our stop, the children's hospital.

Arthur and I made our way off the bus and towards hospital that stuck out like a sore thumb; a pink building surrounded by all the endless dark, depressing colors that made up most of Gotham City.

When we walked inside the hospital, we were greeted by a smiling receptionist, "Well, hello! Who do we have here?"

Arthur's Carnival persona started to take over, "I'm Carnival and this is Bonnie," he motioned towards me, "from Ha Ha's. Our job is to bring laughter and joy to the children!"

The receptionist told us to wait while she paged the hospital event coordinator that planned things like this for the children at the hospital to do.

As we waited, I looked at the pictures, that hung on the walls, of the children that were successfully cured at the hospital. Some had short backstories that you could read to learn a little bit more about the miracle children. It was nice to see that the hospital saved so many kids, but the negative side of me wondered how many kids weren't so lucky.

I let out a sigh and Arthur grabbed my hand, "What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing," I looked at him, "have you been here for a job before?"

"No, I have been to birthday parties and stuff like that, but I haven't been here."

"Well, these kids definitely deserve some happiness. It is depressing to think that kids are going through this kind of stuff."

Before Arthur could add anything, we heard someone come up behind us, so we turned around to see who it was. It was a older woman that was dressed as a nurse. She looked like she was in her 40's and had a very serious face.

"Hello, my name is Barbara. I'm one of the head nurses and I plan the events for the kids. I only ordered one clown, so why are there two of you? I better have not been charged for two clowns."

Arthur shook his head at her, "No, ma'am, you weren't charged for two of us. Just me, but she had nothing to do today so she just came along."

The nurse looked between the two of us a couple of times and then turned on her heels, "Follow me. We will visit a few rooms today that are chock-full of kids that are ready to see you."

I swallowed a lump in my throat, now feeling nervous all over again about doing this. Arthur eagerly pulled me along behind him as he followed the nurse.


	25. Catharsis

I leaned myself against the wall of a building as I puffed on a cigarette. It was almost evening, but the street lamps hadn't yet switched on. It wouldn't be too much longer before they would though. The street was oddly quiet for Gotham; there weren't any cars zooming by and, besides Arthur and I, there were only a few other people out and about.

Arthur and I were just a few blocks from the hospital; we just left from there after checking on Penny. The doctor had completely taken her off of the coma inducing medicine, but she showed no signs of waking up, causing us to leave in disappointment. And things weren't getting any better. 

Arthur was standing in a telephone booth, a few yards away from me, talking to his boss. Only moments ago, I was standing next to the booth, but when I could hear Arthur's boss yelling, I decided to give Arthur some space because I didn't want to stand over him and make him feel anymore embarrassed than he already was.

When we were entertaining the children at the hospital, Arthur was dancing and singing along to "If You're Happy and You Know It" when his gun fell out of his pant leg and onto the floor. Even though Arthur tried to pick up the gun before anyone saw, it didn't work. The gun did not go unnoticed by the children or the nurses in the room, so they quickly made us leave.

However, it wasn't just his boss that was upset about the gun. Honestly, I was too. When I first found out he had a gun, I asked him to consider getting rid of it. I told him it was more trouble than what it was worth. To my dismay, he told me he was going to keep it, but I held onto hope that he would eventually decide to get rid of it. Obviously not. And now this.

_Why did he bring a gun in a children's hospital?!_

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of something bashing into glass, causing me to automatically toss my cigarette and sprint towards the telephone booth. When I got to the booth, Arthur had his head pressed against the glass, which was shattered.

"Arthur?! Are you okay?"

At first, he didn't answer me, he just stood there and all I could hear was the disconnected tone ringing on the phone. 

After a solid minute, he forcefully hung up the phone and came out of the booth, "He fired me."

He walked past me and started down the sidewalk. I stood there for a few seconds to take in what he said before I turned and trailed after him. I tried shouting out a couple of questions, but my questions were met with silence. I was still walking behind him as he dug through his pocket to pull out a cigarette and his lighter. Due to the uncharacteristically muted quality of the street, I could easily hear the click of the his lighter and the quiet burning of the cigarette. As he placed the lighter back in his pocket, he released a cloud of smoke into the air.

In my haste to catch up with him, I almost tripped over myself, "Arthur, please slow down."

He didn't look at me, but he noticeably slowed his pace which allowed me to eventually catch up to him. Once his face was visible to me, I noticed how absolutely defeated he looked, even with the painted smile on his face. Of course he would be upset, he loved his job. It was his way to bring joy and laughter to the world.

"Arthur, what did he say?"

He pulled the cigarette from his lips, "He said Randall told him that I tried to buy a gun off him a while back."

My eyes darted to the left as I attempted to access my memory, "I thought Randall just gave it to you?"

"He did! He fucking lied to Hoyt."

"Well, just go up there tomorrow and tell him what really happened."

"He won't listen to me." 

Arthur took his free hand and ran it down his face, as if trying to wipe away the tension, starting from his eyes to his chin. When his hand made it down to his chin, he suddenly stopped walking and closed his eyes. I stopped and positioned myself in front of him. 

"I can't do anything right. I didn't protect you from Thomas Wayne. Now I don't have a job. How am I going to take care of you? Of mom? You deserve better than this."

The street lamps flicked on, casting light on his sullen face. 

I cupped his face in my hands, "Look at me," he opened his eyes slowly, "I love you. We will...figure something out." I noticed how unconvincing I sounded when I said those last 3 words.

_Good job, Anon. You're so helpful._

Unable to muster anything more inspiring or supportive, I tugged at his arms gently, "Come on, let's get home. I think it's about to rain."

We continued walking in silence until we made it to the subway. As we waited for the train, Arthur wrapped one of his arms around me, but he stared off into the distance, his head turned away from me so I couldn't see his face. I fiddled with my hair, feeling quite uncomfortable with the silence, until the train finally pulled up.

The car we entered was empty besides one other person - a woman, with long black hair, who was sitting by herself at one end of the car. We sat down at the other end of the car on the opposite side of the woman. She looked at us and quickly hid her eyes away. I wondered what thoughts were going through her head. Was she mocking us? Was she afraid of us? I mean, she was alone in a train car at night with two clowns. Maybe she thought there was a possibility that we were killer clowns.

Now, I had myself convinced that that was what she was thinking and I felt the need to show her that we were harmless, so I took Arthur's hand in mine and rested my head on his shoulder. He reacted by resting his head on mine. Surely if she saw this, she would no longer be threatened, right?

I closed my eyes as the train sped through the subway, making its many required stops. However, at each stop, I didn't hear anyone enter or leave the car. It was crazy how dead it was tonight. Usually, Gotham was noisy with people, no matter the time of day. I almost drifted off to sleep before the train came to a stop and three new voices grabbed my attention. The voices were louder than they needed to be. One in particular was a bit slurred. Drunks. Of course. However, as soon as my eyes laid their sights on the people that entered the car, I found out it was much worse than just any drunks. I knew them - Johnny, Nicholas and Andrew.

_Fuck._

At first, I turned my face away from them to keep them from seeing me. Arthur, disrupted from my sudden movement, asked me what was wrong and it was in that moment that I remembered that I was dressed up as a clown, so it would be unlikely that they would notice me. Especially since they were drunk. So, I returned my head back on Arthur's shoulder and relaxed a little, but I made sure not to make eye contact with them as a precaution.

I heard Andrew attempting to talk to the woman and she was trying to thwart his actions in a polite way. My eyes stole a quick look at the scene and I saw that Andrew was throwing fries at the woman. I sat myself up to look at Arthur and saw that he was watching what was going on as well. Nicholas started to chime in and the woman looked over at me and Arthur uncomfortably, silently asking for assistance. Arthur began to fidget as a chuckle escaped his lips.

"Arthur, it's okay."

But it wasn't. A few hard laughs forced their way from his chest to his mouth and all eyes turned to him. For about 30 seconds, the only sounds were the movements of the train and Arthur's laughter. I held tightly onto Arthur's hand as I kept my head down and looked at the guys through hooded eyes.

Johnny sneered in our direction, "Is something funny, asshole?"

Arthur waved one of his hands slightly at Johnny, to communicate that his laugh had nothing to do with the situation at hand. The woman took this as a chance to leave the uncomfortable situation; she quickly stood up and made her way to the neighboring car.

Andrew threw obscenities at the woman as she walked away because, well, what else is a man to do when he has been dejected? For a split second, the guys were about to go back to whatever pointless conversation they had going on before the interruptions. Until Arthur's laughing started up again.

All three guys looked at us again, perplexed at the clown that wouldn't stop laughing. Suddenly, Johnny pulled his lips into a devious smile and he slowly started moving towards us as he sang "Send in the Clowns" by Frank Sinatra. His singing was horribly pitchy and he was most likely tone deaf. Needless to say, it was a good thing his life wasn't dependent on him singing well. Nicholas and Andrew followed behind, laughing like idiots. Just like they always did.

By the time they surrounded us, Johnny stood directly in front of Arthur and stopped singing, "Looks like we have a couple of clowns. How fucking adorable," Nicholas sat down in the seat next to Arthur and Andrew sat in the seat next to me as Johnny continued, "So, buddy, you wanna tell us what's so fucking funny?"

Nicholas took off Arthur's clown wig and put it on himself, as Arthur fought through a laugh, "I think he'll die from laughing before he tells us."

Andrew fiddled with one of my pigtails, "Maybe Miss Lady Clown can tell us." I swatted his hand away from my pigtail and he laughed.

Arthur struggled to explain between his laughs and fighting to breathe. As he reached for his bag to get his card out, Johnny grabbed the bag away and threw it a few feet away. 

This caused me to yell out, "Stop Johnny! He's laughing because of his condition!"

As soon as I spoke, I regretted it. All three guys looked at me in confusion until recognition flickered in their eyes. 

Johnny pretended to stumble back a few steps in surprise, "Holy shit, Anon. Is that you?"

Arthur looked at me as he grabbed his throat, trying to breathe and his eyes wide with uncertainty, until I saw the revelation hit him of who Johnny was. He looked at Johnny with knitted brows, but unable to act since he was still severely out of breath. All three guys started laughing, occasionally pointing at me or Arthur, and looking at each other in complete enjoyment. I tried to stand up, but Andrew shoved me back down which made me slam against Arthur.

Johnny regained his composure, somewhat, "So, if this is you. This," he pointed at Arthur, "must be Arthur. Your clown of a boyfriend. You didn't reveal that you also did the clown thing though. God, how unattractive. And to think I wanted to fuck you."

Arthur finally spoke, "What did you say?" his voice was low and raspy.

Johnny grabbed Arthur by the shirt and yanked him to a standing position. Arthur pushed him off, but Nicholas quickly grabbed Arthur from behind and restrained his arms so that Johnny could hit him. As Arthur tried to fight off Johnny, I tried to jump up and grab Johnny to pull his attention away, but Andrew grabbed onto the collar of my flannel blazer and tossed me onto the floor. I hit my head on a seat, which stunned me for a moment.

Before I could get up, Andrew cackled as he straddled me, "Don't worry guys, I'll keep Anon busy!"

As I tried to fight Andrew off of me, I heard Johnny land a punch and a big thump on the ground. I craned my neck around Andrew to see what was going on. Arthur was on the ground while Johnny and Nicholas were repeatedly kicking him. Tears began to blur my vision.

_Why is this happening?_

Suddenly, I felt a stinging pain on my cheek from something hitting me and forcing my face to rest on the cold floor of the train car. The metallic taste of blood quickly coated my bottom lip. 

Andrew grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him, "Look at me, Miss Lady Clown. I--"

**BANG!**

Andrew let go of my chin and twisted his body so he could look to what was going on behind him as Johnny's body hit the ground.

**BANG! BANG!**

Nicholas' body slammed against the door and slid down to the ground as Andrew struggled to get off of me and into a standing position. He yelled out in terror as Arthur aimed the gun at him and he stepped on me as he ran towards the neighboring car. As he ran through the door, Arthur fired the gun again, hitting Andrew in the leg.

I quickly sat myself up and looked at the scene before me. Both Johnny and Nicholas were on the floor, dead. Arthur still had the gun pointed in the air, his eyes looking around wildly, obviously trying to assess what he just did. The train was preparing to make a stop, which caused Arthur to make unsteady steps towards me.

He held out his free hand towards me, "Are you okay?"

I nodded my head as I grabbed his hand, my eyes wide and staring at him. My mouth was slightly agape, but I couldn't bring myself to actually speak.

He pulled me up into a standing position, ran his hand through my hair, my ponytails came undone during my struggle with Andrew, and rested it on the back of my head, "Did he hit you?!" It came out as a question, but it was obvious that he already knew the answer.

As the train started coming to a stop, he grabbed my hand and lead me to the door of the train car, picking up his bag on his way. As soon as the door opened, he raised the gun and stepped out to locate Andrew, which wasn't hard to do. He was the only one running, well somewhat running, in the subway and screaming his head off. Blood trailed behind him, seeping from the wound on his leg. Arthur let go of my hand and started speed-walking towards Andrew, with the gun aimed at him. I looked all around to see if anyone was coming up behind us as I slowly trailed behind Arthur.

There was a voice in my head, screaming at Arthur, telling him to stop chasing after Andrew. Actively chasing someone down to shoot them is a lot different from shooting them in self-defense after they have been beating the crap out of you. However, no sounds actually escaped my lips. Was I actually okay with this? Or was I just in shock?

It wasn't until Arthur got close enough to Andrew, who fell and was sadly attempting to climb the stairs, that he shot him multiple times. Andrew stopped screaming and stopped moving. I stood next to Arthur and stared at the lifeless body as Arthur looked around as if he was in a daze.

Both Arthur and I stood there silently for about 30 seconds and then Arthur threw the gun in his bag, "Come on, Anon. We have to go."

He grabbed my hand and started running as fast as he could, which jerked my body behind him. We ran up the stairs and onto the streets of Gotham. We ran for a bit until we came upon a public bathroom. Arthur slammed the door open and I ran in. I leaned against one of the stalls and let my body fall to the ground. Arthur forced the door closed, dropped his bag on the ground, and kept his hands pressed flat against the door. Our heavy breathing was the only sound that kept the silence from invading.

As Arthur calmed his shaky breath, he pushed his body away from the door and crossed one foot over the other. He began to make graceful, purposeful movements with his arms and made meaningful steps around the room. It was like a dance and he was completely involved with it. His body no longer jittered from the adrenaline of what happened just minutes ago. He was calm and collected as he calculated his movements. The dance was cathartic for him, a way to deal with all of his thoughts and feelings that were undoubtedly flowing through him.

The greenish light of the bathroom, his emotionless expression, and the blood smudged on his painted face gave him a very haunting look as he danced. At the end of his dance, he stretched out his arms and looked at himself in the mirror. I sat on the ground, taking in the moment, unable to put my thoughts together. All I could do was look at Arthur's reflection in the mirror and feel that someone else was looking back at me.


	26. Amazing *mature*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️This is another smut only chapter. So, for those that don't like smut...please skip. Again, nothing important will happen in this chapter. So, it will not hurt to skip it.⚠️

Silence took over the bathroom as Arthur placed his hands on the edge of the sink and leaned his weight against it. We were both still in shock and had to give ourselves a few minutes to process everything that just happened. In one moment, we were heading home worrying about what we were going to do about being jobless and, in the next moment, Arthur killed three people. In the subway. There were people walking down the steps to the subway as we were running up them. They saw us and, surely by now, had stumbled upon the murder scene.

_How are we going to get away with this?_

I raised my hand to my heart and felt it beating wildly. Now the issue about being jobless didn't seem like such a horrible thing to deal with. Arthur suddenly turned to me and stared at me for a few seconds before he made a few big steps towards. As he moved closer, I jerked myself to a standing position and pushed myself into the corner of the stall and the wall. I didn't expect to react in fear like that, but I did.

Arthur stopped himself directly in front of me and halfway reached out his hand to touch my cheek, "Anon, you know I'm not going to hurt you."

"I-I know," again, completely unconvincing, "I-I'm just...still in shock."

I forced my body to relax and stepped away from the corner, towards Arthur. It wasn't like I was upset that Johnny, Nicholas and Andrew were dead. They were horrible to me and they were horrible to Arthur. They got exactly what they deserved. However, it was still shocking to know that Arthur was the one that killed them and to have all of that happen in front of me.

He caressed my cheek, "I had to protect you."

I wasn't sure what to say. I understood that his actions did start from a place of wanting to protect me, and that is a grand gesture, but I was still uneasy of the fact that he actually chased Andrew down. I could have never pictured Arthur doing something like that.

Before I had the chance to say anything, he cupped my face in his hands and firmly pressed his lips against mine. I was shocked by this oddly timed romantic gesture, but I didn't want to turn him down so I gave him a gentle kiss back and I could taste the bitterness of our blood and face paint mixed together. I thought this would satisfy him, but it didn't. He dropped his hands down to my hips and pushed me against the wall as he continued to kiss me, the movements of his lips became rough - attacking my mouth as if he was taken over by a sudden lustful hunger. My thoughts were racing.

_He just killed three people, why is he acting like this? Is this normal? This can't be normal._

I gently pushed against him to try and get my back off of the wall, but he wouldn't budge. In fact, he pushed me against the wall even more, placing his knee right between my legs. My core throbbed with excitement from the sudden pressure and a moan slipped from my lips before I could rein in my response to his advancing movements.

I tried saying his name and asking him to stop between the movements of his lips, but it just came out as muffled nonsense. After several attempts of this, he finally pulled away from me, breathless, but then he snaked one of his hands from my hip to my breast and rubbed my nipple with his thumb through the thin dress and bralette that I wore. I bit my lip as I tried to ignore the pleasurable feeling.

"Anon, I want you," he pressed his knee even more against my core as he spoke with a husky voice, "I need you."

Before I could respond, he leaned in again, this time burying his face in my neck. Waves of tingling pleasure shot through me with each sticky kiss and gentle bite he placed upon my neck as his simultaneously kneaded my breast. I kept my hands at my side, unable to bring myself to make any sexual advances on him, but also unable to ignore how much I was enjoying this.

_What am I doing? Why am I just letting this happen. God, it feels so good. He just killed three people. We should stop. We have to get out of here._

A pleasant shudder ran through my body as I felt Arthur's other hand running up under the skirt of my dress, tracing his fingers playfully against my skin, tickling my inner thigh as his hand moved upward. He removed his knee from between my legs and replaced it with his wandering hand. He rubbed the sensitive area between my legs through my panties and I reacted by pressing my thighs together, hindering the movement of his hand.

He pulled back and looked at me, "What's wrong, love? Doesn't it feel good?"

I placed my hands on his chest, "No... I mean, yes it does. It does. But," my eyes scanned the bathroom, "right here, right now?"

A very confident smirk played across red lips as he used his leg to push one of my legs further out, causing my gripped thighs to come apart against my will, but I didn't fight it. Arthur was continuing to show me a side of himself that I had never seen before. Confident and very sexy, oddly enough, even with his painted face.

"If it feels good, just go with it, love. Don't think about anything else. Just think about this..."

Now that the hand between my legs was free to move again, he used his fingers to push aside the fabric of my panties, which was slightly damp from the pooling of my arousal, and he began to rub his fingers gently against my folds. My body reacted, almost instinctively, by moving against the movement of his fingers to increase the friction. Another moan escaped my lips. It didn't take long for his fingers to become slick with my arousal and that was when he slipped his index and middle fingers inside me, all the way to the knuckles. My breath hitched as he curled his fingers inside me and pressed on that sweet spot that made me forget all of the worries that I had. He pulled his fingers out slowly before he slide them back in quickly. He did this a few times, his eyes glued to mine so he could witness me relish in the pleasure he was giving me. Then he started moving his fingers in and out at a steady pace. As he did that, he used his free hand to yank down the collar of my dress and my bralette down, exposing one of my breast. He leaned down and used his wet tongue to tease my nipple.

I dropped my hands from his chest to his pants. His firm member was stretching the fabric of his pants and I rubbed my hands over the outline of it before I worked on undoing his belt and pants. It took me a minute to successfully undo them because the finger-fucking he was giving me was so undeniably pleasurable and I found it hard to focus on my fine motor skills. I finally did though and as soon as I was able to unzip his pants and pulled them down, along with his boxers, just enough to unclothe his erect member.

I started to pump his erect member, my hand moving up and down slowly, causing him to let out a few moans as he sucked on my nipple. Then he started a trail of kisses from my breast to my lips. As he forced his tongue into my mouth, he removed his hand from between my legs which caused me to whimper. It felt so good, I didn't want him to stop. He grabbed onto my wrists, pulled my arms above my head, and adjusted his grip so he could hold both wrists against the wall with one hand. He took his free hand and grabbed onto the base of his cock.

As he gently rubbed the tip of his cock against my folds, he pulled his head back and looked at me, "God, you're so wet."

I moaned between breaths as he teased me, "Just for y--."

And with that, he thrust himself inside me without any warning, giving me absolutely no chance to adjust to his size. I yelped in both pleasure and pain at the unanticipated pressure that I felt inside me.

He moaned as he slowly slid himself out of me. Just as the tip of his cock made it to my entrance, he thrusted himself back into me. I wrapped one of my legs around him to get in a slightly different position and he started moving his hips at a pleasurable pace. I wanted to run my fingers through his hair, but his hand was still restraining both of my mine. We stared into each others eyes as we rocked against each other. His eyes were burning with such an intensity that I had never seen before. Not even during the last time we had sex.

Our stare was broken when noises, from the outside, caused my eyes to flick to the bathroom door. Not just noises. Voices.

My body froze, but Arthur kept bucking up against me, "Shit, Arthur, someone is, uhh, outside. What i-if they come-mmh in?"

He smashed his lips against mine, completely ignoring my concerns. I tried to get my wrists from out of his grasp, but the more I struggled, the tighter his grasp became. I tried to move my face away from his to escape his lips so I could speak, but he tightly gripped my chin with his free hand and held my head in place so he could continue to ravage my mouth with his. I could still hear the voices getting louder, closer. In desperation, to stop our very public love-making before anyone barged in, I bit his bottom lip. Hard. This caused him to jerk his head away from me, release my wrists and cease the gyrating movement of his hips.

"Arthur, someone's going to come in. We need to leave."

He shook his head, obviously a little annoyed with me, "Don't think about that. Just focus on us. On this. Doesn't it feel amazing?"

He was still inside me, so he bucked up against me. I stifled a moan. God, he was being relentless. While it was intriguing and sexy, it was a little annoying as well. I pushed against Arthur's chest as I asked him to stop, but he didn't budge.

He frowned at me, disappointed, "But, love, we aren't done yet." He quickly pulled himself out of me, jerked me around so that my back was against his chest, took a few steps back, keeping my body against his, and then whispered, almost hissing, in my ear, "I want you now," he reached one of his hands down and started rubbing little circles against my clit, "I don't care if someone comes in and see us."

His voice was creamy and smooth and it sent shivers down my spine. He played with my clit until I lost all my will to stop what was happening. He was right. It did feel amazing. I couldn't deny that. Then he moved his hand from my clit to my hip, grabbed my hip, and pushed on my back with his other hand, forcing me to bend down in front of him. I felt his erect member push up against my folds and it was throbbing for more action. Once I was in the position he wanted, he carefully aimed his cock at my opening and thrust himself inside me. This time, he didn't start off slow. He immediately started with a fast, hard pace. And in this position, he was hitting my sweet spot just right and I was completely lost in the moment. I forgot all about the voices outside and all I could think about was Arthur driving himself deep inside me again and again.

I pressed my hands against the wall, arched my back, and moaned, "Oh, god, Arthur. That feels-"

He grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled it, "It feels fucking amazing. You feel amazing."

His thrusting started to get a little erratic. He was on edge and I was getting close as well. I started moving my hips against his to increase the friction. Both of us were a mess of moans and whispered curses until our waves of pleasure shot through us at the same time. He continued to thrust into me carefully as he rode his wave of pleasure until he finally stopped.

He pulled himself out of me. As he fastened his pants and belt, I turned around and leaned my back against the wall. All I could hear was our heavy breathing. Whoever was outside must have left. Thank goodness.

I had to admit, I did not picture tonight going down the way it did, but it was hard to deny that what just happened was crazy sexy - paying no mind that it happened in a bathroom, of all places.

Arthur gave me a devious smile, "I love you."

"I love you too, Arthur."


	27. The Slip

Days after the the incident in the subway, it was all over the news, on the front page of every newspaper, and on the tongues of every Gotham citizen. A man wearing a clown mask was seen running away from the subway where 3 employees of Thomas Wayne were murdered. Everyone was also suspecting that there was a kidnapping involved because the witnesses at the subway saw the man in the clown mask pulling another person along with him as he ran away. It was weird listening to all of the theories of who the murder was and why he did what he did, but I had all the answers and I couldn't say a word about it.

The thing that was most shocking about the situation was that the lower-class citizens were actually taking the murder's side - Arthur's side. They were basically considering the killer clown a hero. Someone to look up to. Someone to follow. Which was starting to affect Arthur's behavior. It wasn't anything drastic, but he definitely seemed a little more sure of himself. I assumed because he felt a little less alone in this big world now that people were obviously feeling the same way he did and they were rallying together to support his actions. He unknowingly started a movement the night he committed those murders, which was proving to be greatly affecting the course of Gotham. It was actually quite amazing when I really stopped and thought about it.

Sadly, all of this also caused Thomas Wayne to decide to run for mayor. Hearing this news filled me with rage. He acted like he was the hero that was going to swoop in and save Gotham. Fuck that. And to make it worse, Thomas Wayne appeared on a talk show one day and said the murderer - Arthur - was a coldblooded coward, but he didn't know that Johnny, Nicholas, and Andrew were attacking us before they were shot dead. No one knew that fact and how would they ever find out about it? They wouldn't. Not unless Arthur and I came forward about it. But we couldn't do that. If we did, both of us would be hauled off to Blackgate. 

_Fuck Johnny, Nicholas, and Andrew. Fuck Thomas Wayne. Fuck everyone like them._

I laid on the bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking about these things when I suddenly heard Arthur call out for me. I got out of the bed and went into the living room where Arthur was. He was sitting on the couch, on the edge of his seat, with his eyes glued to the TV. I didn't even ask him what he wanted, I simply joined him in looking at the TV and was shocked to see that Arthur was on the screen. I saw the Pogo's sign behind him, so I knew it was from the night he performed at Pogo's. The show I regretfully missed.

**_"No I won't, Ma, I'm gonna be a comedian."_ **

Arthur let out an excited laugh and shot a glance at me. I missed the first part of the joke, so I didn't get the punchline, but before I could say anything, Murray was back on the screen.

**_"You shoulda listened to your mother."_ **

I saw Arthur's smile immediately dissappear from his face. Murray went on to ask for another clip to be played, only to make fun of Arthur again, before moving onto the main part of the show. I went over to the TV and switched it off.

My back was facing Arthur and I could hear him reach for something on the coffee table. The flick of his lighter revealed that he was lighting up a cigarette. I made my way over to the couch and sat down next to Arthur. He was now puffing on his cigarette furiously as he leaned against the back of the couch, running his hands through his hair, and nervously bouncing his legs up and down.

I placed one of my hands on his left knee, "Don't think about what Murray said, Arthur, he doesn't know what he's talking about."

Arthur took the cigarette out of his mouth and peered at me through the corners of his eyes, "How would you know? You weren't there either."

His words stung and caught me completely off guard, "Arthur... that's not fair. I was ju-"

He let out a sigh as he grabbed my hands and pulled my body towards him, "Come here, love."

I knew what he wanted - I straddled his lap and ran my hands through his hair. Ever since the incident in the subway, he was a little more confident in himself, but he was definitely a lot more needy in regards to our physical closeness. He wanted me with him at almost all times and he wanted me to be close to him. It was almost like he was afraid of me suddenly realizing the severity of the subway incident or becoming fearful that he would hurt me and I would leave him. So, he had to keep me close and keep me distracted so that wouldn't happen.

But leaving him was the furthest thing from my mind. He was still my sweet Arthur, that hadn't changed. Maybe he was a little more controlling then he was before, in regards to him wanting me to stay close to him all the time, but I guess I couldn't blame him. What happened in the subway was traumatizing; no one could go through something like that and not change a little bit. In fact, I honestly felt better staying next to Arthur - even more so than before the incident in the subway. So, I really didn't mind staying close to him all the time.

He placed his hands on my hips, "I'm sorry. You're right. That wasn't fair. I just... I can't believe that Murray..." He couldn't finish his thought and I didn't want him to.

I cupped his face in my hands and kissed him on the lips to pull his thoughts away from stupid Murray. He wasn't that funny anyways, I never really thought he was. I only watched the show because Arthur loved it, but we definitely wouldn't watch it anymore. He returned my kiss and I knew that we were going to move on into a full on make out session, but we were interrupted by the ringing of the phone. 

I pulled away to get up and answer the phone, but Arthur held onto my hips tightly, "Just let it ring."

"What if it is the GCPD finally calling with an update?"

He sighed in frustration, but removed his hands and placed his cigarette back in his mouth. I quickly jumped up from his lap and ran to the phone because it already rang a few times.

"Hello? This is his girlfriend. Oh, yes. Really? That is great! He will be so happy. Yes. We will be there as soon as possible. Thanks!"

Arthur turned around on the couch so he could look at me, "Who was that?"

I smiled at him, "Your mom is awake!"

*  
*

****A couple of hours later, at the hospital****

I watched as Arthur lovingly held onto his mother's hand as he quietly spoke to her about the things that happened while she was in the coma. Obviously, he didn't tell her everything, but he told her what he could. After he updated her on everything, she asked him something, but I couldn't make out what she said. She could really only speak in a few whispered words. Arthur had to move his ear close to her mouth so he could hear her, so there was no way I was going to hear her. Whatever she said though, did not make Arthur happy.

"Ma, why are you already on me about that. Worrying about that stupid thing is what got you in this hospital bed."

I touched his shoulder, "What is it?"

Arthur looked at me and shook his head, "She is asking about her special necklace. The one I gave you. She seems to have forgotten that she gave it to me to do what I wanted with it."

He turned his attention back to Penny and my stomach twisted on itself as memories of the necklace flashed in my head. After Thomas did what he did, he saw my necklace, the one Arthur gave me, and ripped it off of my neck. I had completely forgotten about that until this very moment. So much had happened after the situation with Thomas, I didn't even think about the necklace and, obviously, Arthur didn't even notice it was missing.

As Arthur quietly and calmly argued with Penny, her heart rate began to increase. She was obviously becoming upset by their conversation, so without thinking I gave Arthur's shoulder a gentle shake, which caused him to stop talking and look at me again.

I looked at his mom, "Penny, Arthur did give me the necklace. It was beautiful and I was taking good care of it, but," I paused and I could sense that Arthur was staring at me with concern, "Thomas Wayne saw it. He saw it and he took it from me. I have no idea why. I'm sorry, Penny. I'm so sorry."

My heart was suddenly heavy. Sure, I didn't know exactly how important the necklace was to her, but now that I did, I felt like complete shit. If I had taken better care of it, I could have given it back to her. I felt Arthur grab my hand and lace his fingers with mine as a couple of tears ran down my cheeks.

Penny was quiet for about a minute and then she gave us a weak smile, "Thomas...will...to me." Arthur and I shot a glance at each other before Arthur asked her to repeat what she said. Penny weakly cleared her throat, "He'll bring it back."

Arthur attempted to guess what she meant, "Thomas will bring it back? Bring what back? The necklace?" Penny nodded her head. Arthur shook his head, "Why would he do that, Ma?"

She closed her eyes and smiled, like she was accessing a pleasant memory from her past, "It was a gift. He loved me."

"He loved you? Mom, you were in a relationship with Thomas Wayne?"

Penny's eyes were still closed, but her smile slowly twisted into a frown, "Shhh, it's a secret. They can't know."

Arthur edged closer to his mother, "Can't know what, Ma?"

Penny seemed to be struggling to stay awake at this point. The doctor said that she wouldn't have much energy and probably wouldn't be awake for long. What an inconvenient time for this to be true. I was dying to know this secret, so I'm sure it was making Arthur feel even crazier.

"Thomas......... Thomas."

Arthur placed his hand on his mother's shoulder and started shaking her gently, trying to keep her awake so she could say more, but it didn't keep her from falling asleep. It was when Arthur gripped onto her shoulder, hard enough to turn his knuckles white, that I jumped in to stop him.

"Arthur, let go of her shoulder! You're going to hurt her!" I pulled at his arm until he finally let go.

He snapped his head in my direction, disbelief was written all over his face, "Did you hear what she said? Please tell me she didn't say what I thought she said."

I shrugged my shoulders, "She just repeated Thomas' name. So what?"

Arthur jerked his arm from the grasp of my hands as he stood up and looked down at me, "She said more than that. She said 'your father'."

He stormed out of the hospital room, leaving me there in a momentary shock.

_Your father? Thomas? Why would she say that?_

I quickly ran after Arthur, but I wasn't able to get a word out until we were outside, "Are you sure she said that?"

He stopped and turned towards me, "Yes, I'm sure she did. She said 'Thomas. Your father, Thomas'. Fuck, I feel sick." He placed his hands over his face in frustration, "If he is my father..."

_If Thomas Wayne was really his father..._

I felt like I was going to be sick, "Maybe she is just confused. She did just wake up from being in a coma for quite a while."

Arthur dropped his hands from his face and started digging through his pockets, most likely for his cigarettes and lighter, "There is a letter at the house that I never got around to mailing off for her. I'm going to go read it, maybe it will give me some answers."

"Okay, good plan. Let's go."

Arthur shook his hand at me, "No, I'm going alone. I need to be alone right now. This shit is really fucking me up. Stay here."

"I'm coming with you," I tried to grab his hand, but he pulled it away before I could.

With furrowed brows and a clenched jaw, he growled through his teeth, "I said stay here." He turned and started walking away, "Stay here. I'll be back later. Stay here."

I shook my head in frustration and went back into the hospital to sit with Penny.


	28. Alone

GiGi was on the floor playing with her toys and Sophie was sitting next to me, on the couch, watching the news. I was pretending to be interested in the TV, but I was really just lost in my thoughts.

It had been a couple days since Arthur left me at the hospital. He said he was going home to take a look at the letter his mother wanted him to mail off and he would be back at the hospital later, but he never came back. I waited for him for hours. When I got sick of waiting, I called Sophie to see if she could check his apartment and see if he was there. When she checked his apartment, there was no sign of him and the apartment was completely wrecked.

Did he get angry and smash up the apartment in a rage? Did the GCPD find out he was the murder and arrested him? No, surely that would be all over the news if that was the case. What if one of the killer clown followers somehow found out that he was the killer and they kidnapped him? Honestly, I had no idea and I couldn't keep my thoughts from going wild. The only thing I did know: I was worried about Arthur and I just wanted him back home.

I constantly checked the apartment, but I never saw him. I listened for noises in the hallway, but they were never Arthur. I wanted to go out and look for him, but my anxiety wouldn't let me. Sophie was nice enough to go by Ha Ha's and Pogo's one day for me to see if anyone had seen Arthur, but no one had.

I was so lost and confused. I honestly didn't want it to be true that something bad happened to him, but I couldn't help thinking what that meant if something bad didn't happen to him. Did he choose to leave and never come back? Did he choose to leave me? If so, why? Yes, the news about Thomas Wayne being his father was surprising and upsetting, but that shouldn't have made him choose to leave me. Why would he leave me? I wanted to cry, but I had already cried so much, I didn't have any tears left. I felt so utterly broken and hopeless.

And to top things off, I missed a counseling appointment, a drug test, and a meeting with my probation officer. I already had to hide when my probation officer came by Sophie's apartment yesterday to see if I was here. She was able to get him to leave, but it wouldn't be too much longer before he would get a warrant to search the apartment if I didn't show up soon. I would have to do something. I guess I would have to start staying at Arthur's apartment, even though being in that apartment alone was emotional toil for me.

Then, almost as if someone were reading my thoughts, there was a knock at the door. For a second, a jerked up to run to the door. What if it was Arthur? But then I forced my body to stop. What if it was my probation officer?

I turned and looked at Sophie, "I'm going to hide. Just in case." I ran off to the bathroom before she could even respond.

My mind raced and I waited to see what might happen next. Surely my probation officer didn't already get a warrant. I placed my ear directly on the closed, bathroom door, attempting to pick up any noises or words that I could, but it was pointless. The only thing I could slightly make out was the high pitched shrills of GiGi playing with her toys.

I jumped when I heard a knock on the bathroom door, "Anon, Martha Wayne is outside. She wants to speak with you."

My eyes widened with surprise. Martha Wayne here? Now? What did she want? Was she finally attempting to check on me and see why I never came back to work? But after all this time? Why now?

I moved over so that I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror and attempted to make myself look somewhat presentable, but it was pretty much hopeless. My blonde hair was frizzy and a little matted in some places, I had dark circles under my eyes from lack of restful sleep, and I was wearing a big oversized black shirt with gym shorts that could barely be seen because of how long the shirt was on me. I hadn't really been taking care of myself like I should because I was too depressed about Arthur being gone.

Sophie knocked again, "Anon?"

I finally opened the door. Sophie gave me a weak smile as I walked past her and made my way to the apartment door, which was closed. Sophie must have closed it before she left to fetch me. I grabbed onto the door knob, took a deep breath and opened to door. As soon as I closed the door behind me and laid my eyes on Martha, I was greeted with a sharp pain to my face, causing me to yelp and grab my burning cheek.

"How dare you go to the GCPD and falsely report that Thomas raped you! After everything I did for you! You piece of trash, druggie. You are nothing like your mother. You are like your father. I better not see you ever again or you will be sent to Blackgate so fast, it will make your head spin!"

And that was it. She didn't give me a chance to defend myself or share my side of the story. No, she said her piece, turned on her heels and stomped away. Her high heels clicking angrily down the dim hallway.

I was stunned, just standing there with my hand on my cheek. Completely unable to make myself move. Her words spinning in my head on repeat, like a broken record. The GCPD must have questioned Thomas about what I reported and he must have told Martha about it. And of course she wouldn't believe that her husband would do something like that.

_"Don't even worry about trying to tell anyone. They will never believe a junkie like you over me."_

I was still standing there when Sophie opened the door behind me, "What happened? I heard yelling. Are you okay?"

_Am I okay?..._

I turned my body towards Sophie, dropping my hand from my face, and she gasped at the sight of my red cheek before she pulled me into her arms. She comforted me as if I were her GiGi. Well, she was trying to comfort me, but it wasn't her embrace that would comfort me. I needed Arthur. Somehow, my eyes formed tears and I started to cry.

Sophie led me into the apartment, making me sit down at the kitchen table while she worked on making some tea. I didn't want tea, but she always reached for tea whenever she was upset, so it was just natural for her to go to it. I guess that's better than other things...

As she put a small pot of water on the stove, she asked me why Martha slapped me. I completely forgot that I never told her about what happened with Thomas. She knew that something bad caused me to almost overdose, but Arthur and I never told her exactly what that bad thing was. So, I went ahead and told her about it.

She sat a cup of tea in front of me as I finished my story, "You should have told me that. I wouldn't have let her talk to you if I had known that."

I took the cup in my hand and stared at my reflection in the tea, "Well, I wanted to know why she was here. I guess part of me thought that she was concerned about me and would be on my side, but it was foolish of me to think that. Thomas is a perfect man. He would never do anything like that." 

The last two sentences felt like venom on my tongue. I clenched my jaw and gripped the cup with such force, I thought it might break.

GiGi came over and asked Sophie for lunch, so Sophie turned her attention to that. Which was fine, I really didn't feel like talking anymore. I sat there and watched Sophie move about the kitchen, making lunch, and talking to GiGi. Both of them were smiling at each other and it was quite a sweet interaction, but it made me think about the times that Arthur and I made dinner together, back when things were better. Before the shit hit the fan. Suddenly, it felt like the cute scene in front of me was taunting me. Like it was trying to make it painfully obvious that my life was no longer like it was and I wondered if it would ever get back there. It wouldn't. Not if Arthur didn't come back to me.

**Ring...ring...ring...**

The phone started ringing and an invisible force pulled me to the phone. I just knew that Arthur was on the other side of the phone.

"H-hello? Arthur?"

"...."

"Arthur, is that you?"

"Hello? Sorry, the phone cut out. Is Anon there?"

Hearing an unfamiliar voice made my spirit drop, "Ye-yes. This is her."

"Hello, this is Detective Burke, from the GCPD."

My body tensed up, "Oh, yes. Hello."

"I just wanted to give you an updated. Sorry it has taken so long. Things have been busy." He paused, I guess to let me say something, but I didn't. "Anyways, I needed to tell you that we looked into what you reported to us and we haven't found any supporting evidence. So, we will have to close the report."

My stomach twisted on itself, "What?!" Why did this surprise me? I should have expected it.

"In fact," he took a deep breath, "a request for a warrant came in for you. You aren't following through with your probation. Now, I was able to talk to someone and we will try to work with you, but you need to go ahead and come in to the station. As long as you turn yourself in by 9PM, we won't fill this warrant an--"

I slammed the phone against the wall, breaking it.

Sophie looked at the phone and then as me, "Anon, what the crap. You broke my phone."

Tears were already streaming down my face, but these weren't tears of sadness. They were tears of anger.

"Fuck! GCPD won't do anything to Thomas for what he did! And now they are trying to get me for breaking my probation. He raped me! He caused me to relapse. He caused me to fuck up my probation. He is the reason Arthur left!"

Sophie covered GiGi's ears as I flipped out, "Anon, please calm down. GiGi is right here."

I screamed, trying to let out all of my frustration before my body bursted, as I walked over to the couch to fetch my purple backpack. I had to leave. I had to get out of there.

Sophie moved herself so she was standing directly between me and the door, "I don't think you need to leave right now. You will do something you'll regret."

I shook my head, "I don't fucking care, let me go." Sophie didn't move, so I looked her directly in the eyes and gave her my best Don't-Fuck-With-Me face, "If you don't let me go, you will regret it."

She frowned at me, "Don't threaten me in front of GiGi. What are you thinking?!"

"Then let me go."

She looked at GiGi and looked back at me. She was definitely weighing her options. Most likely deciding if it was worth trying to fight to keep me in the apartment. If I was truly going mental, would she even want me around GiGi? No, she couldn't risk the life of her child. No matter how much she cared about me. She had to put her daughter first. So, finally, she moved to the side, out of my way so that I could make my way to the door and leave.


	29. Unraveling

***  
Arthur's POV:  
***

I sat on the couch in my apartment, trying desperately to smoke my cigarette, but I was battling a terrible laughing fit. My life was unraveling. 

_Thankfully, I still had Anon. She was now the only constant in my life. The only true thing I had. I needed her and she needed me._

_She sat beside me on the couch and rubbed my shoulder, as she typically did when I had my laughing fits. It did usually help. It was comforting to know that she was there and she was watching to make sure that I was okay while I struggled to breathe. However, this fit was proving to be difficult to get through, even with Anon there. There were just too many negative thoughts in my mind. I grabbed my pillow and held it tightly against my stomach; my sides were beginning to hurt from all of my laughing._

_"Arthur, come on sweetheart. You gotta stop laughing. I know it's hard, but you have to stop."_

_"I'm..hah..trying.....hahaha..."_

_"Hey, let me get some of my medicine I still have. I know it's not what you usually take, but maybe it will work. I left it at Sophie's. I'll be right back, okay? I promise." She gave me a kiss on the cheek and left._

_Of course, I wanted to protest and tell her not to leave me, but that was basically impossible with my laughing._

As I fought against my laughter, I thought about all of the things that had happened recently.

**Start of Arthur recalling recent events**

I went home after Penny said that Thomas was my father and found the last letter she wrote to him. The letter was was full of her ramblings about how sick she was and how we desperately needed his help. She also talked about me being a good son and that he would be proud of me. My emotions boiled over and I started throwing things around the apartment. 

_The apartment was completely trashed before the apartment door opened, revealing Anon. Seeing her, I stopped my fit, sat down on the couch, and buried my face in my hands. I heard her footsteps move closer to me, slowly._

_Then I felt her gentle touch on my shoulder, "You should really be focusing this energy on something else. **Someone** else."_

So, that's what I did. I spent a lot of the next few days following Thomas around, trying to find out where he lived. Father or not, he deserved to pay for what he did to Anon. I didn't exactly have a plan. I was just focused on finding where he lived and once I did that, I would figure out what to do from there. It took me a while, but I finally did find out where he lived. 

The first time I laid my eyes on his house...no...his mansion, I couldn't believe it. Why would a family of three need a mansion that big? It was sickening. People with so much money, they just feel like they have to flaunt it. However, the thing that really caught my attention was a boy that was playing in a play fort in the front yard, which was surrounded by a big iron fence. It was Bruce, Thomas' son, which would make him my half-brother. When I saw him, I decided to wait until the next day to come back. 

So, the next day, I made my way back to the mansion and Bruce was once again out there playing. This time, I brought some things to help distract him. I put on my clown nose, hummed a tune as I walked to the gate. I danced around with the trick wand and Bruce came right up to the gate, what a naive kid. Didn't he know that strangers can be dangerous? Not me of course, I'm a good guy. Still, you never know. 

Before I really had the chance to talk to Bruce, an older gentleman ran up and put himself between me and Bruce. He asked me who I was and why I was there and I explained to him what Penny told me. I told him that Penny was my mother and Thomas was my father. The man laughed. He laughed at me. Then he went on about Penny making things up; he said that I was adopted by her and there was no way that Thomas was my father. He said that Thomas and Penny were never together. She was crazy. Delusional.

And of course this upset me at the time. He was talking badly about _my mother_. He had no right to do that. He didn't know me and he didn't know her. Well, at least that's what I thought. His words filled me with rage and I almost strangled him to death, but I stopped because Bruce was watching. No kid should see something like that. So I ran away. 

However, as I made my way home, I couldn't get my mind off the things the man said. Of course, I didn't believe it was true, but it wouldn't hurt just to check. Right? So, on a whim, I decided to go to the Arkham State Hospital and see if they had any records on Penny Fleck. 

The Arkham records clerk was helpful and actually did find a file for Penny Fleck. Which was upsetting, to say the least. The man said she went to Arkham State Hospital and there actually was a file for her there. Were the other things he said true as well? I ended up having to steal the file from the clerk because he said Penny would have to sign some paperwork for him to be able to release it. Obviously, that wasn't going to happen, so I did what I had to do. 

Everything got worse once I actually read the file. There were diagnostic reports and adoption papers to back up what the man said. When I saw the news clipping about the abuse that I suffered at the hands of Penny's boyfriend, that was my breaking point. This was the reason for my condition. It was her fault. She didn't love me. And why would she? She isn't even my mother. 

**End of Arthur recalling recent events**

I ran my hand through my hair. My laughing finally calmed and I was able to breathe again. I looked around the room; I didn't know exactly how long Anon had been gone, but surely she should have been back by now. I stood up and went to Sophie's apartment so I could check on Anon. I knocked on her door and I heard her footsteps move towards the door.

When she opened the door she looked surprised, "Arthur, where have you been?"

I ignored her question because I didn't feel like getting into it or lying about it, "Anon came over here to get something, but she has been gone for a bit. I just wanted to check on her."

Sophie raised one of her eyebrows and folded her arms across her stomach, "What do you mean she came over here? She isn't here. Have you see her? Is she okay?"

"Of course I've seen her, I just told you she came over here so I was checking on her."

Sophie placed one of her hands on the back of her neck and shook her head, "I don't know what you think happened, but she isn't here. She was here, but that was about a week and a half ago. She was staying with me because you left and we couldn't find you. She was pretty upset about it. Then, some other things happened and she freaked out. She stormed out and I have no idea where she went."

"She was here because I left? She was upset?"

Sophie adjusted her stance awkwardly, "Yeah, you left her at the hospital and she stayed with me for a couple of days because you disappeared. This is the first time I have seen you in a couple of weeks. Are you okay?"

I pushed past her, entered her apartment, and desperately looked around the whole apartment - looking for Anon as Sophie trailed after me, barking orders at me to get out of her apartment. But I wasn't going to leave, not until I knew that Anon wasn't here. She had to be. She told me she was going to Sophie's. 

I scanned the living room, the kitchen, the bedroom, and the bathroom. Anon wasn't anywhere. I made my way back to the living room, placed one of my hands on the wall, and leaned my body towards the wall. Has Anon really been gone for a week and a half? Did I imagine that she was home at the apartment this whole time? 

_God, not again._

And now she was gone. 

_Missing._

I failed to protect her. 

_Again._

I punched the wall in frustration, which just made Sophie freak out more. 

Sophie stomped her foot and pointed towards the door, "Arthur, you need to leave! Now! You are acting weird, like Anon was when she ran out of here."

"Where did she go?" I was talking to myself, but Sophie thought the question was directed towards her.

"I told you I don't know where she went. Please leave. I hope you find her, really I do. If you do, please get help for both of you. You both need it."

I pushed myself off of the wall and positioned myself directly in front of Sophie, her body slightly cowered as I stood over her, "We don't need help. We are fine just the way we are. We just need each other. And I know you never approved of us. Anon told me. You didn't think her and I would last..."

She gathered up some courage, "Well, from where I'm standing, it doesn't look like it's going too great."

I balled up my fists, squeezing them tightly until my arms started to shake, "Your opinions don't matter to me. You don't matter to me. No one matters to me. Anon is the only one I care about. The only one I need. Things are changing, Sophie. The protests. The lower-class citizens rising up against the rich. But most of all, I refuse to be ignored and beaten down anymore. I refuse to be treated as lesser than. Things are going to be different. Only one thing will remain the same and that's the bond between me and Anon. Fate brought us together and fate has bigger, better plans for us. One day, we won't even remember who you are, but everyone will remember us."

Sophie shook her head, "Do you hear yourself? You sound crazy."

Before I could react, GiGi ran up to Sophie and started bugging her about something. Sophie kept her eyes on me and tried to shoo GiGi away, obviously worried that I was going to hurt GiGi. I was angry and I was tempted to take my anger out on Sophie, but seeing GiGi forced me to reign in my thoughts and feelings. I released my balled fists and quickly made my way out of Sophie's apartment. I heard her slam and lock the door behind me as I ran down the hall.

I had to find Anon.


	30. Bender

***  
Anon's POV:  
***

I looked down at the burger and fries I ordered and then looked up across the table; Sam was already stuffing her mouth with food, rather obnoxiously. Sure, I hated myself for running back to her, but I was tired of trying to be someone I will never be. Anon wasn't meant to have a job, a place to call her own, or a healthy relationship. The 'normal' life just wasn't in the deck for me. I was meant to live a life of dysfunction and drugs. I just had to accept it. 

Arthur was gone and the life that I foolishly tried to build finally came crashing down around me. So, it was just time to do what I did best - numb myself and try to forget about all of it. Give myself completely to the drugs so I couldn't think about anything else. This meant that, no matter how much I hated Sam, she was my best friend in this situation - she was an easy connection to drugs. In fact, her drug dealer boyfriend, Ben, was sitting next to her - staring at me.

I picked up a fry and nibbled at it, which caused Ben to laugh at me, "You better eat. You drank a shit ton."

I rolled my eyes, "This isn't my first bender." 

_Geez, I sound like I'm proud of that._

Sam spoke up as she chewed on her food, "No, ma'am, it is not! She is a pro."

Ben shook his head, "Whatever, just hurry up, I got places I gotta be."

Sam slapped his shoulder, "Fuck you, leave then. We are eating."

Ben stood up, "Fine. See if you get anymore H tonight."

"Aw, Ben, baby. I was joking." Sam turned to me, "Hurry, bitch, we gotta go."

She stuffed a bunch of food in her mouth and stood up to leave. I took the cue, grabbed my burger, and followed behind them - not even bothered that we didn't pay for the food.

As we staggered down the poorly lit street, I took a bite of my burger and automatically spit it out; it tasted like cardboard that was soaked in grease. I threw the burger down on the ground and folded my arms in front of my stomach. I was starting to feel sick with the lack of food in my alcohol filled stomach.

We followed Ben, making our way down dark alleys and some very sketchy streets. The 'places he had to be' were meeting spots so he could sell drugs to the many clients he had. It felt like we walked around most of Gotham, which was just making me feel worse. After Ben finally completed all of his 'errands', we went to his place. We couldn't go to Sam's because she had already been kicked out of her apartment - not surprising. 

As soon as we got into Ben's apartment, I headed straight to the bathroom so I could force myself to throw up. After I did, I stared at myself in the mirror. I looked rough with my smeared makeup and bloodshot eyes. My days had been filled with drugs, alcohol, a little bit of sleep, more drugs, a tiny bit of food, and more alcohol. Was I hoping for death by overdose or alcohol poisoning? Maybe part of me did. Arthur left me, so what else was there for me now?

_Pathetic, depressed druggie. Here we are again._

I punched at my face in the mirror with a strength that came out of nowhere, shattering it. My body jumped from the sudden sound of glass clattering around me and I looked at my hand. Pieces of glass were stuck in my knuckles and my hand was shaking slightly, but I didn't actually feel any pain. I felt nothing. I watched as blood started to trickle from my wounds. 

I heard Ben's voice on the other side of the bathroom door, "What the fuck are you doing in there?" I absentmindedly opened the bathroom door. As soon as Ben saw the broken mirror and my bloodied hand, he raised his hands in the air, "Fuck, Anon! Why you coming in here and breaking my shit!"

He grabbed me by the shirt and pulled me out of the bathroom. I yanked my shirt from his grip and went into the kitchen so I could stand over the trash can and start removing the pieces of glass from my hand. I could hear Sam, in the living room, asking what was happening, to no one in particular. I removed 6 pieces of glass from my hand before Ben walked into the kitchen and stood next to me.

I stayed completely focused on my hand, "Your in my light."

"And you broke my fucking mirror. I guess we both have something we have to get over."

I let out a huff and adjusted my position so that my hand was in the light again, "Can I have some H, please?"

"God, between you and Sam, I am going to use up all of my shit. And for what? Neither of you are paying for it."

I looked up at him, "I'll pay ya for it."

He scoffed at me, "Yeah, right. Like you have money." I bit my lip. He was right, I didn't have any money. He took a small tuft of my hair and twirled it around his finger, "But, I guess there are other ways to pay."

_Here we go..._

I almost rolled my eyes. I almost told him to fuck off. I almost made the right decision, but the part of me that needed the heroin made me stop. I looked into the living room and saw that Sam was already passed out on the couch asleep. I looked back at Ben, cupped his face in my bloodied hand, and started to pull him in closer to me. He quickly smashed his lips against mine and roughly gripped his hands on my hips. I placed my free hand on his hip, close to his pocket, but not too close. My plan was to distract him so I could get one of his small baggies of heroin out of his pocket. 

We traded open-mouth kisses for a minute or two, until he broke his lips away from mine and greedily made his way to my neck, where he harshly bit me, causing me to groan in pain. I could feel him sucking on my skin and his hands began to roam around my body as he pushed me against the kitchen counter. As he focused on touching every inch of me, I inched my hand closer into his pocket and carefully stuck one finger inside. He didn't notice and I could feel the top part of a small plastic baggy. I was nervous to push on further, I was afraid he would notice. However, one of his hands started to rub between my legs and I knew I had to get out of this before things went much further. 

So I did it. I jammed my finger all the way down to the bottom of the pocket, hooked my finger around the bag, and yanked it out. As I yanked my hand away, I pushed him away with my other hand. Since his mind was in a completely different mode, it did catch him off guard and he actually tumbled onto the ground. I quickly ran to the door and ran out of the apartment. As I ran down the hall, I heard him cussing and chasing after me. 

Once I made it out to the street, I started running at a full sprint. Running like my life depended on it and, honestly, it probably did. I didn't know Ben all that well, he very well could be willing to kill me. I did just lead him on and steal some drugs from him. I turned my head to look back and he was right on my tail, only a few feet away. Fear pushed my body into overdrive and I picked up my pace. As I ran, it began to rain. The cold raindrops started to pound against the top of my head and run down my face. I was still just wearing an oversized shirt and shorts, so it didn't take long for me to become soaked.

I turned a corner, ran down another street, and ran past Pogo's. Since I was more focused on my upset stomach earlier, I didn't realize that we were this close to the apartment building until now. Maybe Sophie would let me in? Probably not. I definitely crossed a line the last time I saw her. Maybe Arthur was finally home? Maybe... Part of me was upset at him, but there was still that part of me that needed him - no matter how upset I was at him. So, decided to head to his apartment. If he was there, at least he could protect me from Ben. If he wasn't...

I accidently landed on one of my feet wrong, causing my ankle to roll, and I fell hard onto the ground. I tried to get up, but Ben tackled me from behind within seconds. With my stomach on the ground, he straddled me as he pulled my head up by my hair so that he could yell in my ear.

"Fucking bitch," he hissed, "you are going to pay for pulling that shit!"

With his free hand, he checked both of my hands so that he could recover the little baggie of heroin I stole from him, but I didn't have it. I dropped it when I fell down. He cussed and griped as he let go of my hair and worked on moving me so that I was laying on my back underneath him. Before he could get himself straddled onto my stomach, I kneed him between the legs. He automatically yelled out in pain and fell over as he grabbed himself. I crawled away from him and forced myself back onto my feet and started running away as fast as I could with my hurt ankle. I turned another corner and slipped into an alley so that I could hunker down and hide. There was no way I was going to outrun him now.

I sat there for a while, waiting to see if he would run past the alley, but he never did. He must have given up. Could I be so lucky? I moved to the end of the alley and stuck my head out to look out to both sides of the sidewalk. There were a couple of people walking around, but no one that looked like Ben or looked like they were pissed off because someone just tricked them and tried to steal their drugs. I looked around a few more times before I started walking in the direction of Arthur's apartment. 

I let out a sigh, of relief and disappointment. I was relieved that Ben was no longer chasing me, but I was also disappointed because now I would have to find someone else to get drugs from. Finding a new drug dealer can be tricky. You never know if they are going to try and take advantage of you. Of course, with me being a woman, they usually tried to take advantage. Just like Ben did. And to top it all off, I would always have to keep an eye out for Ben whenever I'm out and about the streets of Gotham. If he didn't plan on killing me before, he probably did now.

I finally made it to Arthur's apartment. I awkwardly stood at the door, unsure of what I wanted to do. I originally headed this way because I was in trouble and needed help. However, I was no longer in danger, so did I still want to see if Arthur was here? I was still upset with him, but was it enough to make me walk away? I lifted one of my hands in the air and balled it into a fist.

**Knock, knock, knock.**

My body froze as I waited for even the slightest sound to come from the apartment. Nothing.

**Knock, knock, knock.**

I placed my ear against the door to see if I could pick up any sounds. Anything. I shivered at the cold air in the hallway that clung to my wet clothes.

I jiggled the doorknob, "Arthur!"

A neighbor responsed by telling me to shut up. I punched the door, then I kicked it. I wasn't trying to break down the door, I was trying to release my anger. I was angry that he was still gone. Angry that he left me alone. I punched the door again, but this time with my already injured hand. I yelped in pain and held my hand to my chest as I leaned my back against the door and slid down to a sitting position. I began to sob and tears started to cloud my vision.

I sat there and cried for quite a while until I could force myself to calm down. I was starting to sober up, so I needed to leave and find something so I could self-medicate again. I slowly stood up and made my way to the staircase. As I took a couple of steps down the stairs, I thought I heard something behind me, so I turned my head to see what it was. I saw nothing, but this brief moment of distraction caused me to miss a step and I started falling forward. I closed my eyes, waiting to make impact with the stairs and tumble down, but I smacked against something softer than the stairs. It was a body. A cold and soaking wet body, but a body nonetheless. My head and hands were pressed against the person's chest and arms automatically wrapped around me.

A familiar voice caused my heart to stop, "Anon?!"

I pulled away, wondering if the face would be just as familiar as the voice was, "Arthur?!"

He was soaking wet, water was dripping from his stringy hair and face, and he looked like he hadn't slept in a while. However, his lips were pulled into a smile.

"Anon! It's you!" His smile quickly dissolved into a frown, "Wait, is it you? Or...I'm I just imagining you?"

My previous thoughts of being upset with him completely vanished and I quickly wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close. He smelled like rain and cigarettes. I pressed my face into the crook of his neck as he wrapped his arms around me again and squeezed me tightly.

"No, Arthur, you aren't imagining me. I'm really here. I'm here, with you."

"I...I hope so," the happiness from his voice was gone, "I guess, after I left the hospital, I imagined you were with me. Are you okay?"

I pulled away from his body, but kept my hands on his shoulders, "Really?"

_I guess that explains why he never came looking for me._

"I'm...," I didn't want to lie to him, but I also didn't want to get into everything that happened to me right now, "Well, what about you? Where did you go? What happened?"

He pressed his lips into a hard line; I knew he wasn't happy that I didn't answer his question. However, instead of pressuring me further, he pressed his forehead against mine, "Let's get inside the apartment and change our clothes; we're both soaked. Then we can talk about everything that happened. Okay?"

I nodded my head, took his one of his hands in mine and started leading him towards the apartment.


	31. Mental

***  
Anon's POV:  
***

I looked around the apartment as Arthur made his way to the bedroom to acquire some dry clothes for us to wear. The place was still a mess. I never attempted to clean it when he disappeared and, apparently, he wasn't too worried about it either. Maybe, since he was imagining I was with him the whole time, he thought the apartment was clean. Did it work like that? I wasn't sure.

As I took a step, I accidently kicked something, causing it to slide across the floor. Looking down at the object, I found that it was Arthur's journal. I picked it up, with the intention of placing it on the coffee table, but as I held it in my hand, the temptation to look inside took over me. 

_I really shouldn't look. The last time I did, I read something I didn't like._

I looked over my shoulder to see if Arthur emerged from the bedroom yet. Nope, not yet. So, I turned my attention back to the journal, opened it to a random page, and read the first thing that grabbed my attention.

_**"The worst part about having a mental illness is, people expect you to behave as if you don't."** _

I let out a small chuckle; I don't think I ever read something that was so true. It was sort of the same with drug addiction. People expect you to just be able to get over it like it's nothing. "Just say no." If only it were that easy, my life wouldn't be such a mess from consistantly fucking it up all the time.

The sound of Arthur's footsteps came up behind me, so I quickly closed the journal, gently tossed it onto the couch, and turned around to smile at him. He was holding two sets of clothing, one in each hand. 

He stuck out one hand of clothing, "Here are some of your clothes I found. I hope they match, I'm not really great at all of that."

I took the clothing from him and held them in one hand, "It's okay, most men aren't."

We both giggled as he reached out took my free hand in his and squeezed it. The hand he grabbed was my injured hand, so I let out a small gasp of pain. 

His concerned eyes looked down at my hand and he examined it, "W-what happened to your hand? When did this happen? Just now?"

I bit my lip, "No, no. It happened before I came here. I--"

"I didn't notice it earlier. Why didn't you tell me? Come here," he tossed his clothes on the couch, took my clothes from me, grabbed onto my good hand, and pulled me into the bathroom.

He had me sit on the edge of the bathtub as he turned on the water and got it to a comfortable temperature. He told me to wash off the blood as he worked on locating the first aid kit that he kept around for his mother, but hardly ever used. The blood on my hand was pretty much dry at this point, so I had to gently scrub it off with my other hand. The bathtub drained slowly, so the water collecting in the tub turned into a light pink color as the blood washed off my hands.

Arthur came back with the first aid kit and some hydrogen peroxide. He kneeled on the floor in front of me and proceeded to clean my wounds. I sucked air through my teeth when he poured the hydrogen peroxide over the cuts; it burned like hell. After my hand was disinfected and cleaned, he bandaged me up. 

I looked at my bandaged hand, "thank you, sweetheart."

He smiled up at me and caressed my jawline with his fingers, "anything fo--," his smile disappeared and he gave me a perplexed look, "what the..." He grabbed my chin in his hand and moved my head to open my neck better to his view, "is this a hickey?"

I pulled away from him and quickly made my way to the mirror above the bathroom sink to see what he was talking about. When I did, I saw it. The round, magenta-colored spot on my neck. Seeing it made my stomach drop. Shit. I knew that Ben was sucking on my neck when I was trying to distract him, but I didn't even think about him possibly leaving a hickey. 

Arthur came up behind me and I looked at him in the mirror, "A-Arthur, I..."

He was staring at me in the mirror, his eyes tempting to flood with tears of betrayal and disappointment, "What did you do?"

I turned my body around and placed my hands on his chest, my eyes avoiding his gaze, "It was nothing."

He twisted one hand in my hair and pulled down, forcing me to look directly into his eyes, "Nothing? Tell me what happened," his voice wavered as his eyes flicked between my eyes and neck.

I attempted to hold his hand that wasn't wrapped up in my hair, but he swatted my hand away. I held back my tears and calmly told him what happened the day I left Sophie's apartment. I told him about Martha dropping by and then the phone call from the GCPD. Then I told him about finding Sam again and staying with her and her boyfriend so that I could numb myself with drugs and alcohol. By the time I started explaining what happened with Ben, I was having a hard time holding back the tears. I knew I shouldn't have done what I did with Ben. I knew it would hurt Arthur. He has done so much for me and I betrayed him for a small baggie of heroin. 

I still tried to explain the justification of my actions, as if that would soften the blow, "I only kissed him and I only did it to distract him so I could take some of his heroin. That's why I said it was nothing."

When I admitted to kissing Ben, Arthur closed his eyes, causing tears to roll down his cheeks. Once I was finished speaking, he opened his eyes again, but now they were burning with anger. He placed his free hand on my throat, gripping it without squeezing my airway too tightly. I placed one of my hands on his and wedged a couple of fingers between his hand and my throat. 

"How could you do that to me, Anon?"

"I'm sorry, Arthur. It was a stupid last minute decision. I didn't think it through. I mean, I was just thinking about the heroin. I just don't think clearly whe--"

Arthur quickly removed his hand from throat and punched the wall next to the bathroom mirror, "Fuck, Anon. Why do you keep doing this - picking drugs over me."

Fear crawled up my back and neck, ending at the base of my head - tingling - forcing my body to begin survival mode. I shouldn't feel threatened by Arthur. He would never hurt me. Then again, he has never shown this much anger towards me before. Also, I never thought he would kill anyone - and he recently just killed three. Maybe I didn't really know what he would or wouldn't do anymore. 

I cleared the lump in my throat, "I don't choose drugs over you."

"Yes, you do," he growled, "you've done it twice!"

"Because I was raped, Arthur! And then YOU left me alone! If you would have just let me go home with you after the visit with your mom, none of this would have happened."

I tried to push him away from me, totally forgetting that he still had a firm grip of my hair. So, I only managed to move him a couple of steps back and he just pulled me along with him. 

He pulled tighter on my hair, forcing me to move my face closer to his, so that he could yell in my ear, "Don't fucking blame me. I told you to stay at the hospital!"

"I did! For hours! But you never showed because you were imagining things because you're fucking mental!"

He looked at me, shocked from what I said. I knew I went too far saying that, but he was being mean too. 

He removed his hand from my hair, "And you're a junkie whore," and then he pushed me away with quite a bit of force, causing my lower back to hit the sink.

Then, I just reacted. I slapped him hard across the face. For a few seconds, he held onto his face as we both registered what just took place. He furrowed his eyebrows and his eyes turned dark as he focused his gaze on me again, giving him a crazed look. 

_Why did I do that?_

I bolted out of the bathroom and ran to the bedroom, slamming the door behind me. On the other side of the door, Arthur slammed his body against it, trying to get the door opened before I locked it, but he was too late. He slapped the door with his hand a few times and cursed at me, telling me to open the door. 

I stood close to the door so he could hear me speak, "I'm not opening the door. You are scaring me."

"You fucking slapped me!"

"Well, you called me a whore!"

"You said I'm mental!"

"Because you are. You are being mental right now! You were tempted to hit me just a few minutes ago."

"I didn't hit you, though."

"I don't care. I don't want to talk to you. I'm done."

As I took off my still wet clothes and changed into some dry clothes, Arthur continued to try and convince me to open the door, but I was serious about not wanting to talk. I ignored him, jumped into the bed, and pulled the covered up over my head to help drowned out his voice. I laid there in silence as I waited for him to give up. 

I couldn't believe all of the things that just happened. This is something that happened with Todd and me almost every night. Not Arthur and me. The incident at the subway changed everything and, so far, not for the better. I wished there was a way to go back to that night and keep it from happening. I could tell Arthur that we needed to avoid the subway at all costs. I could come up with an excuse as to why we should walk home instead. That would be better than everything that has happened since that night. 

After a while, Arthur went silent and I was able to drift off to sleep. 

*  
*

****Next morning.****

I opened my eyes to see the bed beside me was empty.

_Where is... Oh, yeah. We had a fight. A bad one._

I placed my hand on my forehead and contemplated what to do. I could go out there and see if we can talk things through in a calm and rational manner or I could just stay in bed all day. Honestly, I was going through withdraw yet again, so I could easily stay in bed all day, no problem at all.

I laid in bed for a while before I finally forced myself to get up. I opened the bedroom door just enough so I could peek into the livingroom. 

I didn't see or hear any movements; the one thing I did see was part of Arthur's pillow on the arm of the couch and I wondered if he was still asleep on the couch. I didn't see any of his brown hair, but maybe it was just out of my view. 

I quietly opened the door more so I could make my way closer to the couch, tiptoeing in hopes of not waking him. I wasn't sure if, once I saw Arthur, he would be MY Arthur or the new angry Arthur from last night. 

Once I was close enough to the couch, I only found his blanket and pillow, no Arthur, and I was slightly relieved. My eyes scanned the apartment, it was still a mess. Even though I wasn't feeling very well, I decided to try picking up a little bit. It would be a nice gesture that could serve as an olive branch; letting him know that I didn't want to fight with him. Because I didn't. Yes, he said some mean things, but so did I. We were both stressed out and emotional from things that happened recently. 

In fact, we never did talk about what happened to him after he left the hospital. Surely he found out more about the possibility of Thomas Wayne being his father or not. After we worked things out, I would have to remember to ask him about it. Though, part of me wondered if I really wanted to know. I'm not sure I would know how to feel if Thomas really was Arthur's father. 

I worked on cleaning the apartment for a while until all of the moving around started to make me feel worse, so I sat down on the couch and made myself comfortable. Only minutes later, the apartment door flung open and I quickly stood up so I could face the door. Arthur came into the apartment, holding a few bags in his hands. 

He stopped a few feet away from me and looked around, "Did you clean?"

_He didn't try attacking me. He doesn't seem angry. Maybe he is back to normal again._

I nervously shuffled my feet, "A little bit, but I had to stop. I'm not feeling very well."

He shook his head, "You didn't have to do that."

"I know, I wanted to. I just wanted to make up for what I said last night," I paused for a moment, "look, I'm so--"

"Come help me with this," he turned and headed towards the bathroom. 

I let out a huff, a little upset that I was trying to apologize for my part of the fight last night, but he wasn't giving me the chance to. However, in the spirit of trying to keep the peace, I decided to just drop it and follow him into the bathroom. By the time I entered the bathroom he was already taking a couple of things out of the bags he brought in with him. 

He held out a bottle of something, his hand was covering the label so I couldn't tell what it was, "I need you to help me dye my hair."

I held my hand out to take the bottle from him as I raised an eyebrow at him, "Dye your hair? Why?"

He smiled devilishly, "I have a show tonight."


	32. Anything

Arthur sat in a chair in front of the bathroom sink so that he could lay his head back, over the sink, as I held the bottle of green liquid dye in one hand and poured it into his hair. My other hand worked the dye into his brown locks, rubbing and combing his hair between my fingers that were tinted green. 

This had been going on for a few minutes now and neither of us said much, at least nothing of significance. He basically just told me that he had a show tonight and he had a certain idea in mind of how he wanted to present himself, but he refused to give me any details. 

As I continued to work on his hair, I looked down at him and stared into his eyes. They were the blueish-green colored eyes I was used to, not the dark colored eyes that were staring back at me last night. I bit my lip, as memories of last night flashed in my mind. 

_What if our lives are like that from here on out. I don't want to be in a bad relationship again. I did enough of that with Todd._

I forced myself to smile, to try and push through the negative thoughts and focus on the positive. 

_No, no. This is my Arthur, the man I love. He is right here with me and last night was just one bad night._

Arthur flicked his eyes at me and gave a weak smile, "What?"

"Oh, I just," my smile disappeared and I awkwardly turned my attention back to my task at hand, now rinsing the excess dye out of his hair, "I'm just still trying to figure out why we are doing this."

"I told you, you'll see."

I let out a small sigh, "I know that, but I don't understand..." I forced my mouth closed and shook my head. 

_I should just drop it. I don't want to risk making him upset again._

I dried my hands off with a towel and then handed it to him, "Here, dry your hair a bit and let's see if you're happy with it."

He stood up as he rubbed the towel over his head and squeezed the excess water from his hair. Then he threw the towel on the ground and looked in the mirror. As he inspected his hair, I took in his form. He was shirtless, wearing blue pants with the very top of the elastic band of his white underwear showing. He looked like my Arthur, except now with green hair.

He ran his hands through his damp hair a few times, "I like it," and then he looked at me, "what do you think?"

I nodded my head in agreement, "Yeah, looks good. Very green."

He grabbed the bags that he came in with and motioned his head toward the bedroom, "Come in here with me while I finish up."

When we entered the bedroom, he took a seat at his mother's vanity and I laid down on the bed on my side facing him. He took more things out of the bags - a new paint brush and makeup. I raised an eyebrow, curious as to why he was putting on makeup for a show. Surely it wasn't a new clown gig, because when he said "show" I thought he meant a stand-up comedy show. I was dying to try and get more information out of him, but I already told myself to drop it.

He was opening the white face paint when I started to speak, "I know you don't want to give me details about what you are doing..."

He interrupted me, "Love, it's not that I don't want to tell you. I just want to surprise you. You will know exactly what I am doing in a little while."

"Well, okay," I paused for a second, "can you at least tell me what happened to you after the hospital? Like, what were you doing that kept you gone for so long?"

At this point, he was just starting to paint his face white, he had only a few strokes of paint on his forehead. He paused what he was doing and, for a split second, I saw his lips dip into a frown before he pulled them into a tight line. I felt a small shiver of fear travel up my spine. Did I make him angry by asking that? 

After a few seconds of silence, he cleared his throat, continued his task at hand, and told me about how he followed Thomas and found out where he lived. He ended up speaking to an older gentleman that worked for Thomas and this man said that Penny made everything up about her and Thomas being involved. He called her crazy and revealed that she had been sent to the Arkham State Hospital. Arthur went to the hospital and it was true. She had been sent the hospital for a time, he had her file with all of the information. 

After he said all of this, he got quiet. I waited a few minutes to see if he would say anything else, but he didn't.

"Did you go back to see your mom and talk to her about it?"

I could see Arthur's shoulder tighten as the question poured from my lips. I watched him carefully, to see how he would react. I hated how he seemed almost....unpredictable now. Even though he had been, for the most part, acting like my normal Arthur all morning, I could still sense...something, like a switch that could just easily flip and turn Arthur into the Arthur from last night. The one with the dark eyes. 

He stared at his partially painted face as he held the paint brush in the air, near his face. Then, he stuck out his tongue and gently ran the brush against his tongue a couple times, as if he were trying to paint his tongue white. Then his eyes flicked to my reflection in the mirror and he held them there for a few seconds before he nonchalantly went back to painting his face.

"Yes, I talked to her."

I sat up, my legs hanging over the edge of the bed, feeling a little anxious about the way he was acting, "What did she say."

"Not much," he answered coldly.

"Well, can we go see her before your show tonight?"

He dipped the paint brush in the white face paint as he shook his head, "We can't."

"Why not?"

He ran the brush across his chin, almost finished painting his whole face, "She died."

My bottom jaw dropped. I couldn't believe it and I was completely speechless. Why didn't he say anything sooner? I understand emotions were high and all over the place yesterday, but that would have made everything make so much sense. He just lost his mother and then I tell him that I kissed someone else - taken as a harsh act of betrayal, even though that isn't at all what it was. Of course he would be angry, feeling like he lost the only two constant people in his life, and react so out of character. God, it made me feel even worse than I did before.

I shook myself from my thoughts, "What happened? Was it because of the stroke she had? I thought she was getting better."

Arthur sharply sucked in air, put his brush down on the vanity, and let out a deep breath. Then he turned around, kneeled down on the ground in front of me, placing himself between my legs, and wrapped his arms around my hips as he looked up at me. His features were heavy with worry.

"Love, I have to tell you something, but I need you to stay calm," he took his arms from around my body and clasped both of his hands around one of mine, "we can tell each other anything and we can work through it. Right?"

I clentched my jaw, worried about what he was about to tell me that would cause him to ask this, but I nodded my head as I caressed his jawline with my free hand, "Of course, sweetheart. Anything."

He smiled at me as he moved himself onto the bed, sitting beside me, while keeping his hands on mine. Once he was sitting next me, his expression turned serious again, "I killed Penny. I did because sh--"

I tried to pull my hand away from his grip, but he must have sensed my muscles tense up because he held on tightly to my hand - making it impossible for me to pull away. 

"Arthur, let go."

"I told you to stay calm," he growled through his teeth. His all-white face gave him a haunting expression.

"I didn't know you were going to tell me that you killed your mother! Let me go," I finally slipped my hand out of his grasp and stood up.

He quickly stood up as well, blocking me between the bed, vanity, and the wall, "You should stay calm and let me explain."

I stomped my foot, "What explanation could you possibly have for killing your mother!? Because she may or may not have been in a relationship with Thomas Wayne? I know that the idea of that being true is...disturbing, but what does it really change? She is still your mother. I don't understand how you could..."

Tears started flooding my eyes. How could he do this? How could I forgive him for something like this? After last night and now this...maybe it was time to start accepting that the subway incident did change him. It changed him in a way that I couldn't live with. As much as leaving him would destroy me... I couldn't do this again. I tried to push past him to leave. I had go leave now while I was committed to the idea. 

He gripped my shoulders harshly, "Listen to me, Anon. Sit down!"

I jerked my shoulders away from him, "I'm not going to sit down. Let me leave, please. Please, Arthur. If you love me at all, you will let me go."

He cupped my face in his hands, "I do love you. That's why I can't let you go."

I placed my hands on his and weakly tried to pull them away from my face, but then the tears began to run from my eyes and it was like my will to fight left my body with them. I looked into his eyes through my tears. God, this hold he had on me was too much. 

I stayed silent for a bit to calm myself before speaking, "I'm listening, but I'm not sitting down."

"I killed Penny because she isn't my mother. The file I got from the hospital had adoption paperwork inside. It said that she adopted an abandoned child...being me. Then, she was arrested and sent to the hospital because she allowed her boyfriend to beat me. I was starved and had severe head trauma and she did NOTHING to protect me. Nothing. And that's why I have my condition. All of it. It's her fault."

My heart dropped, "R-really?"

He reached to the nightstand behind me and brought back a red file. He held it out towards me, "If you don't believe me, it is all in here."

I looked at the file for a few seconds and then shook my head, "No. No, I believe you." 

I could understand his reason now. The woman, who he thought was his mother, wasn't his mother and allowed him to be abused. Maybe if she never adopted him, his life would be better. I felt the same about my past. If only my mother had fallen in love with someone else, maybe she would be alive and I wouldn't have been tortured in every way imaginable. Did I fantasize killing my dad? Of course I did. I had dreams about it sometimes. So, Arthur actually went through with it. As unsettling as it was, I would be a hypocrite if I judged him for this. I would kill my dad if I had the chance.

Arthur threw the file on the ground and I slowly moved myself closer to him and wrapped my arms around him, "I'm sorry for freaking out."

He held me close, my head fitting perfectly into the crook of his neck, "So, we are okay? I can't lose you, Anon."

"I'm still kind of in shock," I rubbed my cheek against his chest, "but we will get through this. We have to."

We stood there for a while in a heavy silence until we heard knocking on his apartment door. We pulled away and looked at each other.

Arthur spoke first, "Do you think that is Sophie?"

"I don't think so. I hope she didn't rat me out to the GCPD and tell them that I pretty much live over here now."

Arthur furrowed his brows, "She wouldn't really do that, would she?"

I looked around anxiously, "Well, the last time I saw her, things got a little out of hand. Well, I did."

He kissed me on the forehead, "I'll go answer it. Stay here, okay?"

He left the room before I could reply.


	33. The Bargain

***  
Arthur's POV:  
***

Opening the apartment door revealed Randall and Gary standing in the hallway. Gary was holding a bottle of something in a brown paper sack.

I faked a smile, "Hey guys, what are you doing here?"

They told me that they came by because they heard about my "mother" passing. Seemed like something Gary would do, but Randall? There had to be another reason for him to be here. I went ahead and invited them in and they started asking me about my face paint - curious if I found a new job or was going to the protest tonight.

When I denied both, Randall reached down and hit Gary on the shoulder, "Ah, I bet it's a kink thing for him and his little dolly." He let out a giant laugh, so pathetically impressed by his own joke.

I let out a laugh, the fake laugh I was so accustomed to using in public situations. I didn't think his joke was funny. I didn't like him talking about Anon at all, with the way he has joked about her in the past. I reached into the back pocket of my pants where I had placed a small pair of scissors...or....

_Fuck..._

Well, I thought I put some scissors in my pocket, but I must have left them on the vanity in the bedroom. I planned on bringing them just in case I needed to defend myself from whoever was at the door - like the GCPD. But, even though it was only Randall and Gary, I could still use the scissors. I did tell myself that Randall would regret a certain joke he made about Anon before. Maybe today was the day I could follow up on that. I have since then killed four people. What's one more? Especially when he deserves it.

Randall cleared his throat, "Oh, and there was something else, Artie. See the GCPD are asking a bunch of us about the subway murders and I just wanted to know what you told them. You know, so we can get our stories straight."

I ignored his question. For one, I couldn't trust him. Whatever information I gave him, he would use it to throw me under the bus. Secondly, my mind was focused on my new plan. 

I tapped an index finger on my jawline a couple of times, "You know what, Randall. I just remembered something."

"What's that, Artie?"

"Remember when you said that you'd 'keep my secret' if I let you in on the fun?"

One of Randall's eyebrows perked up as he looked at me, obviously unsure of what I was talking about.

I smirked, "You know, about not telling anyone I was involved with such a young girl like Anon. As long as I let you have some fun as well."

Randall's eyes finally lit up, "Oh yeah, yeah. I remember. You know, I have kept my end of the bargain." He let out a giant laugh again.

I shrugged my shoulders, "Well, I guess it's my turn to hold up my end of the bargain. I mean, you are here after all."

Randall looked like he had been smacked in the face with disbelief, "Wha-- R-really? You actually mean that? I mean, I was mostly jokin' around, but...," he looked around the apartment, "is she here?"

I nodded my head, "Yep, she is in the bedroom."

Randall let out a chuckle, "Well, I mean, I definitely can't pass up something like this. She is a hot piece of ass."

"I know," I moved myself to the side and held my arm out toward the bedroom door, as if ushering him in.

His smile melted into a serious expression, "So, you aren't jokin'?"

"I love jokes, but this is not one."

Randall looked at Gary with a devious smile and Gary shook his head at me, "What the fuck, Arthur. She can't seriously be okay with this."

"Shut up," Randall snapped, "you're just a jealous little shit. You can go on back to your little dwarf house. I got something, or should I say, someone to do."  
*  
*

***  
Anon's POV:  
***

I was curled up on the bed, holding myself tightly, no longer able to stand by the bedroom door to listen in on Arthur's conversation with whoever was at his door. My withdraws were getting worse and becoming difficult to ignore; it eventually got to the point that I couldn't even focus on listening, so I gave up and laid down on the bed.

_I sure could use something right now._

I placed a hand on my temple and shook my head. Going back to drugs wasn't an option. Arthur accused me of choosing drugs over him, so how would it make him feel if I just went out and got high again after that? I loved Arthur more than drugs, but; honestly, drugs are a whole different game. Love and drugs just can't be compared to one another. They are apples and oranges.

Suddenly, the bedroom door opened and I shot my head up, expecting to see Arthur. But it wasn't Arthur.

I sat up on the bed, "Randall? W-what are you doing in here? Where is Arthur?"

Randall closed the door behind him as a disgusting smile took over half of his face, "Oh, he is right outside the room, dolly. Don't worry. He said I'd find you in here."

"He said...wha-," I stood up from the bed and approached Randall to make my way to the door, "I don't understand what is going on..." As I tried to walk past him, he grabbed my arm and pulled me back towards him. I should have anticipated this, but I was too wrapped up in how shitty I was feeling. 

"Oh, I can tell you what's going on. Artie and I, we had a little joke going on about you, but I guess it wasn't really a joke because he said he would hold up his end of the deal since I held up mine," his warm breath, that smelled of alcohol and whatever he ate before arriving here, invaded my air - only making me want to throw up more.

I still didn't understand what he was talking about. Arthur said he would hold up his end of the deal? What deal? Arthur never told me about a deal. Why would he have a deal with Randall? Is that why Randall was here? Why would that deal end with Randall coming into the bedroom that Arthur and I shared? My thoughts were racing and my head was hurting. This was all too much to take in right now.

I let out a small laugh in attempt to exhale some of the anxiety that was building up inside of me, "Um, okay... Well, how about we go talk to Arthur together so we can get this all worked out."

Randall sighed in annoyance and jerked my arm, causing me to be thrown on the bed, "It's all worked out already, dolly. So, just lay back and enjoy the fun. I know I will," the last four words poured out of his mouth, dripping with self-satisfaction.

My sick body filled with fear and I yelled out for Arthur as I scooted myself bakwards on the bed, trying to put as much distance between Randall and myself as I could. Being a tall man, he had no issues reaching out towards me and grabbing my ankles to pull me back towards him. I kicked my legs as wildly as I could, fighting to gain control of the situation, but he held on tightly. So, I changed my tactic, I sat up so I could punch him in the face. Randall let go of one of my ankles so he could catch my hand, which allowed me to kick him between the legs. This caused him to release me from his grasp as he doubled over in pain.

I quickly rolled myself off the side of the bed, but because I was in panic-mode, I didn't notice how close I already was to the edge of the bed, causing me to fall onto the floor square on my back and knocking all of the wind out of my lungs. I laid there, struggling to breathe as Randall slowly made his way over to me. 

He unbuckled his belt and then kneeled down on the ground to straddle my body. As he tried to reach down to remove my shorts and underwear, I tried my best to fight his hands away from me. When he grew tired of this, he wrapped one of his hands around my throat and squeezed. My already oxygen-deprived body was cut off from regaining anymore oxygen at this point; my eye sight quickly became fuzzy.

As I tried to tear his hands from my throat he chuckled, "Ya know, it's way more fun when little dolls like you are hard to get."

My chest was burning. My eyes and arms became heavy. I couldn't fight anymore. Suddenly, a hand stuck a pair of scissors in Randall's throat, causing blood to pour onto my face. Then, my world went black. 


	34. Enter the Chaos

***  
Anon's POV:  
***

I woke up to the sounds of yelling, crashing, banging, and sirens coming from outside. It was nighttime and, even though some amber-colored light poured through the window, it was hard to see my surroundings. I could really only see the shadowy shapes of objects that were in the room. 

I winced at the pain in my head, but when I tried to touch my hand to my forehead, there was a resistance and clattering of chains. I turned my head up to look at where my hands were and the small bit of light that shone through the window reflected off of something that was around my wrists.

_Am I handcuffed to the bed?_

I start to struggle against whatever was holding my hands in place; I had to get out of here. I had no idea if I was alone or not and I could hear the rioting crowd outside. Even if I was alone now, that could change at any moment. It was very likely that people would start running through the apartment building, looting all that they could from every room. If they came in here and saw me like this, I would be easy prey. 

Pain started to radiate from my wrists, but I couldn't stop struggling because I was starting to panic. Suddenly, I heard the apartment door open and a voice call out my name. Sophie's voice.

"Sophie! I'm in the bedroom!"

Before I knew it, the bedroom light was switched on and hit my sensitive eyes harshly, which only made my pounding head worse. While I was momentarily blind, I heard Sophie scream, "Oh my god!"

I forced my eyes open so they could adjust to the light. Sophie wasn't looking at me, so I followed her line of eyesight - she was looking at the floor to the side of the bed - and that is when I looked over the edge of the bed and saw Randall's lifeless body. Blood was everywhere - on the floor, the bed, the vanity. I looked down at my clothes and found that they were drenched in blood as well. 

Then it all came back to me: Randall came in the room, talked about a deal that him and Arthur had, then he attacked me, someone stabbed him with scissors, and then I passed out. Arthur had to have been the one that killed him. He saved me. 

"It's okay, Sophie. He attacked me."

Sophie was finally able to turn her gaze from Randall and look at me, "Shit, Anon, what happened? Did this guy handcuff you to the bed? Who killed him? Do you know if there is a key somewhere?"

She was asking way too many questions and I wasn't sure how to answer most of them. I knew that Randall couldn't have handcuffed me to the bed because he was straddling me on the floor before he was stabbed in the throat, so there was no way it was him. So who could have done this? Did GCPD end up making an appearance while I was passed out and decided to just handcuff me while they dealt with Arthur? Where was Arthur?

"Where is Arthur? Have you seen him?"

"T-that's why I came over here... I had to make sure you were okay."

My heart dropped, "Did something happen to Arthur?" I braced myself for bad news.

Sophie shifted her body awkwardly, that was when I realized she had a small gun in her hand, "He was on the Murray show just a few minutes ago."

Her mentioning that, I did remember him saying he had a show tonight, but it made me wonder...did HE handcuff me to the bed?

_At least he is okay... I'll just have to find him and talk to him about all of this._

"Oh, how did it go?"

Sophie dropped her head slightly, avoiding eye contact with me, "Anon, he was all dressed up and acting crazy. He-he admitted to killing those three guys on the subway and then he...," she paused, "shot and killed Murray on live TV."

Why would he do that? Why would he tell all of Gotham that he was the "killer clown". No, she had to be mistaken. He probably just made a dark joke about it for the show. I mean, it was true...he did kill them, but he wouldn't tell anyone. All that would do is get him a one-way trip to the Arkham State Hospital. Then we would be apart for who knows how long. He wouldn't risk that. No way. I didn't even entertain the part about him killing Murray. There was too much on my mind right now.

"Sophie, I'm not sure how I got handcuffed, but can you please look around for a key. Look everywhere, maybe you will find it."

Sophie nodded in agreement and started looking around. First, she started looking around on the floor and then she started looking through drawers and on top of the dresser and vanity. When she had no luck in the bedroom, she went into the livingroom to look around. 

I could do nothing, but sit there and fidget. I had no idea if there even was a key in the apartment and I had to find Arthur to see what was going on. The place where they filmed the Murray show was far from here. He could be anywhere by now. Was he on his way back here? Or what if he disappeared like he did before?

Sophie interrupted my thoughts when she ran back into the room and crawled on the bed to get to my restrained hands, "I found it I think," I felt her inserting a key and twisting it.

**Click.**

One handcuff loosened. I pulled my now free hand away as she worked on unlocking the other one.

**Click.**

I was finally free. I rubbed my sore wrists, which were slightly bruised from my pointless struggling, before I got off the bed - making sure not to step on Randall.

Sophie got off the bed as well and watched me as I quickly gathered some clean clothes I could change into, "Anon, do you know where I found this key?"

"No, where?"

"In a pair of pants in the livingroom. They were on the couch. They look like Arthur's," she waited for me to respond, "Be honest, Anon, did he handcuff you?"

I shook my head, "No, I doubt it. He wouldn't. I mean, I don't think so."

She let out an exasperated sigh, "Anon, tell me what's going on."

With my clothes in hand, I started to make my way to the bathroom so I could at least get some of the dried blood off of me. Sophie followed behind, waiting for me to say something. Once she saw me start the water in the tub, so I could wash my face and hair, she repeated herself to try to get an answer from me. As if I didn't hear her the first time. 

"I don't know, okay?! The dead guy over there attacked me, Arthur saved me, I blacked out, and then I woke up just a few minutes before you came in here. I gotta find Arthur and find out what happened," my head was under the stream of water, so I had to speak loudly so she could hear me. 

"The GCPD arrested him at the scene."

"Then I'll go to the GCPD and see if they will let me talk to him."

"Tch, did you not hear what I said? He killed four people! Well, five apparently. Honestly, who really knows how many he has killed. I know you had feelings for him and maybe he did save you from that guy, but he is dangerous. You should stay away from him."

I turned off the water in the tub, grabbed a towel, and worked on drying my hair and face, "No, he isn't dangerous. Not to me."

As I began to change my clothes, not caring that I was doing it in front of her, she held her head in her hand, "He...he isn't Arthur anymore."

I threw my arms up in the air, "Oh, what the fuck do you know!" Then I started to make my way out of the bathroom. 

Sophie raised her arm, barring me from leaving the bathroom, "If you leave to go after him, don't ever come around GiGi and me again."

I pushed her arm down, "No problem. I'm sure Arthur can't come back to this apartment anyways."

Sophie followed me as I walked towards the apartment door, "He is probably at the GCPD by now. They are probably going to lock him up for a long time. You'll be alone!"

As I walked, I noticed she left her gun on the table; she must have put it down while she was searching for the handcuff key. So, as I passed the table, I snatched it up, along with Arthur's beige hoodie. 

"What are you doing with that! That's mine!"

I was running down the hall at this point, so I yelled a reply, "It sounds crazy out there, I may need to protect myself!"

I heard her yell my name a few more times before the distance between us finally silenced her. It felt like a door was closing behind me. What new door was going to open next?

I need to get to Arthur, no matter where he is.

*  
*

I had been walking for a while, trying my best to avoid all of the chaos that was going on around me. People were running around everywhere - looting, setting cars on fire, vandalizing, fighting...it was crazy. I had never seen Gotham like this before. I held onto Sophie's gun that was concealed in the pocket of Arthur's hoodie, that I was wearing, ready to use it if I had to. The hoodie was a tad big on me so I was able to conceal myself quite well. I tried to be as invisible as I could as I walked through the manic crowd.

I was approaching a movie theater when I heard sirens. I had been hearing sirens all night, but these sirens were close. Very close. A police car had to be driving down this way. I stopped and kept my eyes focused on the street, I needed to see if Arthur was in this cop car or not. 

As I waited, two guys were talking behind me, "Hey, dude, is that the Waynes? Man, they picked a bad night to go to the movies."

The hair on the back of my neck stood up and I turned to look at the men, "The Waynes? Where?"

The men looked at me and one of them, I'm assuming the one that spotted them, pointed his chunky finger to the right of himself. I looked to my left - at first, with all the chaos that was going on, I didn't see them. People were loitering on the sidewalk and there were people running in and out of the theater. Then, I saw the profile of a woman entering the alleyway that was at the other side of the theater. Her face and short, light blonde hair were both familiar to me. I knew her. It was Martha. 

I had this overwhelming sense to follow her. So, completely forgetting about my plan to look out for the cop car, I quickly made my way towards the alleyway. Why? I have no idea. I didn't have a plan. It wasn't like I wanted to make Thomas admit to Martha what he did to me. It wasn't like I actually had the power to make him confess. He never would. All of the bad things he has done will go with him to the grave, all because of his position in the world. Anger started to build inside me and I felt my body suddenly become energized with adrenaline. I didn't have a plan, but I had to do something. 

When I got to the alleyway, I noticed that Martha had her body huddled around a child and Thomas had his body huddled around Martha. They walked in sync, attempting to leave the chaos behind them. I quietly closed the gap between them and me.


	35. Call Me Joker

Before the Waynes made it out at the other end of the alleyway, I called out, "Thomas!" My voice clearly shot through the alley, as if the noise of the riot was unable to penetrate the air here. 

All three of them turned to see who it was that ruined their chance of getting away unnoticed. I already pulled the hood from my head, leaving my face completely exposed to them. They automatically frowned at the sight of me as Martha placed herself between me and the child, who was looking up at his father. 

"What are yo-- We don't have time for this...," Thomas started to usher his family away.

"You should feel guilty for this. All of this, it happened because of you."

He turned his head, only enough to yell out some words as they continued to walk away, "These clowns have no one to blame, but themselves. I wanted to help these people!"

I let out a fake laugh, "Help? You help people? So, should I thank you for raping me, then?"

He stopped, dead in his tracks, and turned on his heels. He lifted his finger at me as he took several big steps forward, "Shut up! It is bad enough that you are trying to slander me to the GCPD. Don't say this trash in front of my son."

"He should hear about the things you do, about the man that you really are. Maybe that will keep him from turning into someone like you! Someone that just takes, takes whatever he wants whenever he wants!" I cupped my hands around my mouth and locked eyes with the young child, "Kid, your father raped me. He is a bad man. Don't grow up to be like him! If you do, this riot...it will never end. We are always going to resist you and your fucking family!"

The child looked at me, wide-eyed, and my stomach twinged with a small feeling of guilt. He was an innocent child, why was I doing this in front of him? Sure, if I could do something to prevent him from being like Thomas, I should do it. However, it wasn't like my small speech would actually change the course of this kid's life. After tonight, he would forget all about me and my words.

Thomas continued coming towards me and Martha made slow steps behind him, begging him to ignore me and continue their journey home. She was right. He should just focus on getting home, instead of getting emotionally pulled in by a young woman in an alleyway. The longer they were out in the open, the more danger they were in.

Thomas stopped in front of me and grabbed my throat in his hand and pulled me close, so that our noses were only inches apart, "Don't you dare try to talk to my son and spew your lies!" Then, his boisterous voice suddenly dropped to a whisper, "I told you no one would believe junkie trash like you. That's all you are. Trash. That's why I used you and then threw you out without a care in the world."

My blood began to boil. It was so aggravating that he was completely unafraid of getting caught. He could rape me and then just go back to his life, as if nothing happened. While Arthur was currently being escorted to GCPD because he killed three guys that were beating that crap out of him. He was defending himself, but it was highly unlikely that it would make a difference. He would be sent to Blackgate. Thomas should be in Arthur's place, but that would never happen. 

Martha came up behind Thomas and placed her hand on his should, "Thomas, ignore her. She is not worth our time. We need to get home."

I snapped my head towards Martha the best I could with Thomas' hand still clasped on my throat, "Fuck you, Martha!"

Within a second, I felt a sharp pain on my cheek and Thomas tightened the grip of his hand, "That's it. I'm dragging you to the GCPD right now. I'm going to tell them whatever I need to to get you locked up for a long time, so you can't bother us anymore. You have been a blight on my life eve--"

Suddenly, a gunshot sounded through the alleyway. Thomas let go of my throat and took a few shakey steps back as his gaze started moving down. I followed his line of eyesight and Martha grabbed onto her husband; her gloved hand pressed against his stomach and he let out a pained groan. When she pulled her hand away from him, we both looked at the white glove that was now stained with a dark liquid. With the poor lighting of the alleyway, I couldn't actually make out the color, but we both knew it was blood. 

_I shot him._

Thomas tried to say something, but he couldn't muster the words before he tumbled forward, falling to the ground and Martha fell down to her knees beside him. I watched her for a few seconds, as she frantically tried to get him to respond to her. Adrenaline began to warm my body and it began to fidget with the extra energy that was building up. I wondered if Arthur felt like this after he shot and killed Johnny, Andrew, and Nicholas - it had to be. It was an amazing feeling. I never expected it to be, but it was. Maybe it was more of the fact that I took control and had absolute power over the situation. 

My arm, that was holding the gun, was shaking badly so I grabbed onto it with my other hand to force it still. I could see and hear Martha yelling at me, but I wasn't registering what she was actually saying. I waited until the shaking stopped and I slowly raised the gun to point it at Martha. 

As I stared at her with the gun aimed at her, I finally registered a few of her words, "...a monster, like your father!"

And I pulled the trigger.

Martha's body fell to ground, next to Thomas'.

More adrenaline was released into my body; it became overwhelming and I felt dizzy. I absent-mindedly dropped the gun and brought my hand up to my forehead, as if it would help me steady myself. As I stared down at the two bodies that layed at my feet, two puddles of blood started to creep towards me. 

I heard something whimper, which pulled my attention to the young boy that had been left a few yards away. He was looking straight down at the ground, with his eyes slammed shut and his small hands covering his ears. The sight of him forced me back into reality. 

_What did I just do?_

I stood there for an uncertain amount of time until I heard a voice behind me, "You better get out of here."

I jerked my body around towards the unknown voice. Someone witnessed this? Someone saw me kill the Waynes. 

_Shit, shit._

The man could see that I was visibly upset by his presence, so he raised his hands as of gesture of surrender, "Don't worry about me, I'm on your side."

I didn't move, "Do I know you?"

He shook his head, "Doubt it, but, like you, I agree with the things that Joker said and did. It is time for us to werewolf and go wild, like him. He would definitely be happy with what you just did. It's exactly what that bastard deserved."

I raised an eyebrow at him, "Joker? Who is that? What are you talking about?"

The man seem surprised at my words, "You mean....you don't kn--"

The man failed to finish his question when he was interrupted by the distant sound of what sounded like an explosion, which drew our attention to the street. We didn't see anything interesting because we were too far into the alleyway to see much, but our curiosity was peeked. Without another word, I started to make my way to investigate what was going on. The man waited for me to pass him before he started walking towards the street as well. 

The street we were on was oddly still, a shocking change from how it was not long ago. There were a few people still running, but they were all running in the same direction. I had to assume that they were on their way to investigate the same thing we were. My eyes followed them until I saw what they were running to: a huge commotion of people gathered around, several blocks from where I stood. 

_What are they doing?_

Without another thought, I started walking - which eventually turned into a jog due to the growing curiosity nagging at me to know what was going on. As I got closer to the firey scene, I could make out that two vehicles were smashed together. One looked like an ambulance and the other looked like a...

_A cop car? .....Arthur?!_

My jog turned into a frenzied sprint as fear coursed through my veins. Sure, the GCPD were everywhere tonight, but something gave me the horrible feeling that Arthur was in that car. I wanted to call out his name, tell him that I was heading that way, but there was a horrible lump in my throat that made it impossible. Not to mention, it would be pointless anyways. The commotion of the crowd was so loud, there is no way he would hear me. 

As I approached the outer circle of the crowd, they yelled out encouragements for someone to stand up. I stood on my tiptoes to get a better view of the cop car and that was when I noticed a man was layed out on the hood of the cop car. With the people surrounding the car, the glaring light if the surrounding fires, the smokey haze, and the darkness of night - it was impossible for me to make out who the man was. 

I eyed a man and his young son, who were just a couple of steps in front of me, so I tapped the man on the shoulder, "What is going on?"

The man turned his head towards me a bit, "Some idiots smashed into the cop car that Joker was in. They probably fucking killed him."

This is the second person in a row to talk about 'Joker'.

"Who is this Joker guy?"

"If you don't know who Joker is, you should probably just get out of here," he gruffed at me, obviously annoyed by my questions. 

I decided not to ask anything further and took a few steps back. While I was interested in what was going on, I really needed to get to the GCPD before they sent Arthur anywhere else. I needed to see him. 

Within seconds of me turning around to walk away, the street was overtaken by the sound of the crowd cheering. Of course, I couldn't help but turn back around to see what was transpiring.

The man, previously laid out on the hood of the cop car, was now standing up on the car. The surrounding fire and bluish lights from the street lights lit up the colorful suit that he wore. He slowly scanned the crowd with his darkened eyes, void of emotion, which was contradicted by his lips which were on edge of twisting into a smile. His face looked horribly dirty, as if it smothered with...paint? Blood? Maybe both? I definitely made out the red around his mouth, but I couldn't make out the color around his eyes from where I was standing. It could have been black. Maybe blue. 

The man slowly lifted his arms up into the air, one much higher than the other, and then started to twist them around in the air. His feet joined in with coordinated moments that complimented what he was doing with his arms. It was...gleeful in a way - the way he danced - and it looked just scarcely familiar. Like I had seen movements like that before. He twirled so that he could face the other side of the crowd that surround him. They cheered again for him.

And I made my way closer to him. 

The people in the crowd were so mesmerized by the sight of this man, that they really didn't acknowledge me pushing past them. They just looked up at him - clapping and cheering - waiting on edge for his next move. He was still facing away from my direction, but I noticed that he had his hands brought up to his face. 

The crowd he was facing began to cheer as he pulled his hands away from his face and slowly extended his arms out, as if presenting himself to the crowd all over again. Whatever he was doing, made the crowd go obsoultely crazy. The excitement made me forget everything else. I forgot about how I just killed Thomas and Martha Wayne. Forgot that I made a child an orphan. Forgot that I desperately needed to get to the GCPD to see Arthur. I just wanted this man to...

As soon as I made it to the foot of the cop car, I cupped my hands around my mouth and yelled, "Turn around!"

I knew there was no way he could have heard me, the crowd was too loud - there was no way my small voice could cut through the noise. It had to be sheer coincidence when he started to turn around. Once his face came into view, it revealed that the bottom half was painted with a wide, bloody smile. It was haunting, but not in the deranged way you would imagine. I was completely enthralled by his appearance. His mere presence was enticing. The way he held himself, the way he held his arms out in the air. It was like he was born for this. This attention, this praise - he fed off of it like he was starved of it his whole life. 

Lost in my thoughts, I just stood there and watched as he looked down at us, his crowd of excited fans, and he scanned his eyes over every single person. When his gaze moved over me, he paused. I quickly glanced over my shoulder, curious as to what he was looking at, but when my eyes locked back on him it became obvious to me that it was me he was looking at. He carefully lowered himself off the cop car and onto the ground. I tried to take a few steps back to give him some space, but the crowd jointly compressed around him, pushing me closer to him. We were face to face, arms-length apart, and I could make out more of his features. 

This man definitely had painted his face as a clown, but a lot of the face paint had melted away due to the sweat and blood that covered his face. The bloody smile that replaced his painted one was thick - he was bleeding a lot. Even though he didn't show it, he had to be in pain. His adrenaline was probably making him completely oblivious to the pain. I could now see that the color around his eyes, which at one point was painted in the shapes of triangles, was blue.

The features of his painted face were so familiar. So familiar that I reached out to touch him, but then I hesitated. Something inside me wanted to deny how familiar he was. 

_I'm just going crazy. I don't know him. I should leave._

As I pulled my hand away, the man grabbed onto it, pulled me close, and wrapped his free arm around my waist. He held onto me, our faces just inches away and our bodies pressed together. His warm breath washed over my face and a familiar scent of cigarettes sent small electric signals to my brain, lighting up my olfactory bulb. Now, knowing that I wasn't crazy, I scanned his face again. It was too dark to make out the color of his eyes, but I soon noticed the greasy green tint of his hair, that I could just barely make out. 

I just dyed Arthur's hair green today.

"Arthur?"

Without a word, he drew me in for a kiss. There was an overwhelming taste of iron when he kissed me and I was utterly confused by everything that was happening, but I ignored the blood and my confusion as I melted into him. I let go of all of my pent up energy and kissed him back forcefully. I could feel his lips form into an open smile as he just barely licked my lips. It was like he was teasing me, because when I opened my mouth to give him access, he pulled away from me. His bloody smile was badly smeared and I'm sure I had a ridiculous looking smear of blood on my face. 

He took my chin between his thumb and forefinger and stared deeply into my eyes, "I handcuffed you for a reason, you know."

I pushed aside my temptation to kiss him again and looked at him seriously, "So, that was you that did that?"

He rubbed his thumb against my chin, "Sorry, love, I just wanted to keep you safe. I wasn't exactly sure what was going to happen." He took a second to look at his surroundings once again before he looked back at me. 

"What did you do?"

"You haven't heard?"

"I mean, Sophie found and uncuffed me. She told me a little bit - said you went on the Murray show an--"

I was interrupted by someone tapping both of us on our shoulders. We both shot glances at the person and I realized right away that it was the guy that witnessed me kill the Waynes. 

"Sorry to interrupt, but the cops are about to swarm the place. You both need to go."

I looked at Arthur, who was still assessing the man that was talking to us, "Where are we going to go? We can't go back to the apartment."

The wheels behind Arthur's eyes began to turn, "I don't know, love... I really don't have a plan."

The man spoke up again, "Lucky for you, I do. Come with me. I know somewhere we can lay low for a bit."

Arthur grimaced at the man, "Fuck off, I don't even know you."

I gently slapped Arthur on the shoulder, "Be nice, he is going to help us!"

Arthur turned to me with the same angry look he had the night before, "How do you know that? Do you know him?" I could sense a twinge of jealousy in the second question. 

I tried not to let his anger affect my confidence, "Yes. I mean, no. Not really. I don't really know him, but..." I looked at the man, "he saved me. I ran into Thomas Wayne and he was trying to take me to the GCPD, but this guy came up and he shot Thomas." I tried to make a slight gesture to the man to make sure he understood to play along with my fib, without being too obvious. 

Arthur looked at me, the man, then back at me - contemplating if what he was hearing was the truth or not. After a few seconds he finally spoke, "Okay, well... Lead the way then." His comment sounded very leery, like he wasn't 100% convinced, but he stuck out his hand toward the man - gesturing for him to lead on.

The man began to run off and both of us followed behind as the sirens of cop cars grew louder behind us.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter and I will introduce a new character (technically he was mentioned in the previous chapter, but we are actually going to find out his name in this chapter), who is going to be a pretty important character in the sequel that is currently ongoing on Wattpad (I will be posting a copy on this site as well, though. More info at the end of the chapter)
> 
> With that being said, I am being super lazy about describing the character and just letting you know that, in my head, he looks that the Italian actor - Daniele Pecci. Just google him if you have no idea who he is. I know, I am being sooooooo lazy about it, but whatever. Lol!
> 
> Also....since this is the last chapter (but I really really wanted to have a little more sexy intimacy between our two main characters), this chapter will have a section of smut. If you don't like smut...don't read it! I will give a warning of when the section begins and ends, so you can skip, because you definitely do want to read the rest of the chapter because it will cover some important information.

The man lead Arthur and me into an abandoned apartment building that was several blocks away from the scene we fled away from. When the cops arrived, the huge crowd kept them busy, so we were able to slip away completely unnoticed. Meaning, we didn't need to worry about them finding us, at least for now. We knew it would be best to relocate further away at some point, but at least we had time to figure out a plan first. 

However, Arthur was more interested in interrogating the man that helped us, rather than making a plan. He stood in the middle of the living room of the apartment with a closed demeanor and looked at the man, "Who are you?"

The man peaked out of the door's peephole before he turned to Arthur, "I understand why you are leerly of me, but I promise you - I only want to help you and your movement."

"Did you even watch the Murray show tonight?"

"I did."

"And I clearly said I didn't start a movement. At least, I never meant to."

"Maybe you didn't mean to, but you did. Once you killed those three men, you changed the course of Gotham. You gave the lower class citizens the courage to stand up for themselves. And after your performance on the Murray show, you solidified your place as their inspiration. They look up to you."

As I listened to Arthur and the man go back and forth about this, I wished I had been able to see what happened on the Murray show. I felt so out of the loop. The man stood there for a bit, waiting for Arthur to say anything, but he didn't - he was too busy pondering what the man said. 

The man finally broke the silence, "If you don't have a plan on what to do next, I will help you make a plan. You have to keep this momentum going and I have a certain...expertise."

Arthur raised an eyebrow, "An expertise? Of what?"

The man gave a small, one-sided smile, "The underworld of Gotham."

He went on to explain that, until recently, he was a pretty big influence in the underworld in Gotham. More specifically, he was a main man for one of Gotham's big crime families; he worked directly under the head man of the Leoni Family. He was the guy that made plans and made sure they were executed accordingly. It all honestly sounded like a gangster movie I had seen with Todd years ago - it just didn't seem real. I didn't think stuff like that actually happened. 

Arthur was standing there, holding onto his chin and taking in all of this information, until he finally decided to ask another question, "So, if you worked for this family, how do I know I can trust you? You could still be working for them."

The man shook his head, "I don't work for the Leoni Family anymore. Your actions in the subway woke me up. Sure, I didn't work for the rich stiffs at Wayne Tower, but the elite of the underworld are just like the elite that live their lives out in the open. They take all that they want and do what they want, all the while letting their shit roll down the hill - burying the rest of us in it. It is time for a change. It's time for them to know what it feels like. Ask me anything, anything at all. I will tell you all of the secrets I know about the Leoni Family, and what I know of other major players, to prove that I am worth trusting."

Arthur was silent. I could tell that he was at a complete loss of what to say or do. Never in his life had someone come to him, begging to be trusted, and Arthur had complete power in this situation. He could choose to trust this man or not. 

I moved next to Arthur and touched him on the shoulder, but my eyes were focused on the man, "What is your name?" 

The man looked at me, "My name is Sean Romano."

I looked up at Arthur, "We can trust him."

Arthur looked down at me, placing his forehead on mine. He took a slow breath in and then out, slightly wincing in pain as he did, "My head hurts."

I gently ran my hand through his greasy green hair, "You were just in a wreck and I'm sure all of your adrenaline is spent. You probably need to get checked out by a doctor."

He slightly moved his head against mine, "I can't do that, love. I'm a fugitive now, I can't just go to the doctor."

Sean spoke up again, "I know someone that can look you over. He isn't technically a doctor, but he is a good friend of mine. He'll do good."

Arthur answered sharply, "No."

I turned my head towards Sean, "Yes, please. Please bring him here."

Sean hesitated from the conflicting answers he received from us, but when Arthur didn't object, he nodded his head at me and then left. I moved away from Arthur and locked the door behind Sean. When I turned back to Arthur, he was visibly in pain, so I lead him into one of the bedrooms. 

The abandoned apartment was very bare, but it did have a bed in one of the rooms. It was a pretty nasty bed that didn't have a pillow or blankets, but it would have to do. We had no choice for now.

Once I got Arthur laid out on the bed, I caressed his cheek with my hand, "I'm going to look around for some blankets. I'll be right back."

I tried to walk away, but he grabbed my hand, "No, I don't need a blanket. I need you. Lay here with me."

I mentally disagreed - I thought the room was freezing - but I didn't bother arguing with him. He moved over slightly to give me enough room on the bed to lay down beside him and he enveloped me in his arms. 

We layed there, my back pressed against his torso, as he played with a lock of my hair - twirling it around his index finger, "Tell me what really happened after you left the apartment."

"You don't believe me?"

"I saw the look you gave him. You lied."

I sighed, "I'm sorry. It was just a little fib. I wasn't trying to cover anything up, I just wanted to give you a reason to trust him so you would let him help us."

He was silent, obviously not interested in the reasoning for my lie. So, I went ahead and explained everything that happened. I told him about how I got the gun from Sophie, the argument I had with Thomas, and that Sean witnessed me kill Thomas and Martha. 

When I was finished with my story, Arthur nuzzled his face into the back of my neck, "I should have been the one to pull the trigger on the Waynes. It is my job to protect you," he brought his hand up to my chin and pulled my face towards him so he could look me in the eyes, "but I would be lying if I said picturing you ending their lives didn't turn me on."

I shook my head at him playfully as I turned my body, so I could face him easier, and then closed the small distance between our lips. I meant for it to be a small kiss, but Arthur hungrily attacked my face with his lips. He kissed me on the lips, chin, and jawline as he placed his hand on my ass and pulled my body even closer. However, the effort of pulling me closer strained his bruised body and he hissed in pain against the skin of my jawline.

I placed my hand on his cheek and gently pulled away from his lips, "Arthur, we should stop."

He kept reaching his lips towards my neck, "Probably, but I don't want to stop."

I looked at him seriously, "Rest. We will have plenty of time to finish this later."

He growled in frustration, but he gave up trying to attack me and simply wrapped his arm around me once again. I cuddled myself against him and closed my eyes. 

*  
*

I was woken up by someone nudging me on my shoulder. I lazily opened my eyes as I looked up to see who it was - it was Sean, with some other man I didn't know.

Sean looked at me apologetically, "I'm sorry, but I brought my friend - the one that can make sure Joker is okay."

I turned to look at Arthur, who was asleep, and then looked back at Sean, "Yeah, okay." I slipped Arthur's arm off of me and started pushing myself up from the bed and Sean helped pull me up into a standing position. 

Sean and I walked out of the room to give Sean's friend some space while he worked on Arthur. There was hardly any furniture in the living room, mainly just one wobbly chair, which Sean offered for me to take. He leaned against the wall, across from where I was, as he lit a cigarette. I must have been eyeing his cigarette pretty hard because he offered me one - which I unashamedly accepted. 

He gave me a cigarette and reached out to light it for me, "So, what is your name? And how long have you known Joker?"

I inhaled the cigarette to bring it to life and exhaled the first puff of smoke, "My name is Anon. Why do you keep calling him Joker? Another guy in the crowd called him Joker too."

He let out a small chuckle, puffs of smoke escaping from his lips and nostrils, "Oh yeah, I forgot you had no idea who I was talking about when I said his name earlier." 

He went on to explain how Murray introduced Arthur as "Joker" on the show. Since he mentioned the show, I used this as the perfect time to find out everything that happened, since I missed it. So, he gave me a condensed play-by-play of what happened. It made me wish I had seen it. It would have been interesting to see.

I wasn't sure what to say, so I decided to answer Sean's other question, "I met Arthur before the subway killings. Several months before all that."

He gently scratched at his beard on the underside of his chin, "You two seem...very close."

I let out a sharp laugh, "Well, as you can see - he has his problems and, um, I have mine. It's hard not to completely lose yourself in someone when you are trying to escape things. And we were both trying to escape things."

"Tell me," he slid himself down so that he was now seated on the floor, "what are you trying to escape?"

I turned my head away from him and flicked the ashes of my cigarette carelessly on the floor. Sure, I trusted Sean more than Arthur, but that didn't mean I was ready to spill my guts out to him. 

He seemed to notice me pull up a wall around me, "Yeah, too soon."

It grew awkwardly silent as we just sat there, smoking on our cigarettes. Thankfully, it wasn't too much longer before Sean's friend came out into the living room and looked at me.

"He seems to be okay, minor injuries from what I can see. However, a mild concussion is likely. He is awake now and it is a good idea to keep him up for the next several hours."

"Okay, thank you so much."

Sean stood up, "Thanks for the help. I promise to get ya the money as soon as possible."

The man looked at Sean, "Yeah, I know you will. I got your number," he let out a hearty laugh, "just make sure you call me if anyone else needs anymore mending. Don't dare seek out that hack, Gregory. You know he'll sell ya out to Mr. Leoni before you can spit."

Sean shook hands with his friend, "You don't gotta worry about that."

The man nodded at me and then made his way out of the apartment. As Sean worked on locking the door, I got up and went into the bedroom to keep Arthur company and make sure he stayed awake.

*  
*  
*

*****About a week later*****

We spent the next several days laying low in the abandoned apartment building to give Arthur time to recuperate from his minor injuries. Thankfully, things were pretty uneventful during that time. Sean did a lot of work to make the apartment somewhat liveable as we stayed there. He got some of his contacts to get the utilities turned on so we could actually use the restroom and not freeze to death. It was amazing how he seemed to have a solution for everything and was able to pull everything off without drawing attention to our presence in the building. 

I focused my energy on Arthur and made sure he stayed in bed as much as possible, to speed his healing along. He kept saying that I was overreacting and being too worried, but now that I knew of his history of severe head trauma, I couldn't help but think how dangerous even minor head trauma could be for him now.

Whenever Arthur was passed out asleep, I would use the time to get to know Sean a little better - if he wasn't busy running errands for us. Even though he did act like a very tough guy, he was also very kind. Anything that Arthur or I needed, he would go out and get it. I knew Arthur was still leery of him, but I was determined to get him to trust Sean.

"Anon."

Sean pulled me from my early morning daydreams. 

"Yes?"

"We need to move to a different location. Today. The government has SWAT teams carrying out sweeps in the area; they will most likely make their way to this building by tonight. I found another place that will work temporarily."

I nodded my head, "Okay. Let me go ahead and wake Arthur up. If we need to leave, it would be best to just go ahead and do it now. I don't want to run the risk of getting caught by waiting too long."

I got up from the old rocking chair I was seated in - like I said, Sean did a lot to make our hiding as comfortable as possible - and went into the bedroom where Arthur was still sleeping.

When I got to the side of the bed, I ran my hand through Arthur's hair, "Sweetheart, wake up."

His eyes fluttered open, "Hello, love."

I sat down on the bed next to his sprawled-out body. He was laying on his stomach, so I rubbed his back gently, "How are you feeling?"

He smiled, "I'm fine. Stop worrying."

"I'm not worrying. It's just...Sean said we need to go somewhere else, like, as soon as possible. They may find us here if we stay much longer."

He adjusted himself so he was laying on his side and used one of his arms to prop himself up, "He is still here?"

"Why wouldn't he be? He has done nothing but help us. Both of us would most likely be locked up at Blackgate if it wasn't for him. I don't understand why you still don't trust him."

He took one of my hands in his, "Everyone I have ever trusted has betrayed me in some way." He rubbed the pad of his thump gently against the skin of my hand. 

I wanted to protest against his statement. I wanted to tell him I never betrayed his trust, but then the memory of me kissing Ben basically slapped me in the face. Even though the kiss was purely used as a distraction to nab some drugs, he still considered this a betrayal to our relationship. I guess I couldn't blame him. I would be upset if he kissed another woman, no matter what reason he had. 

"I understand, but trusting Sean is really the only option we have right now. And he has quite a few ideas on how we can get back at Gotham's rich. We could really make some meaningful changes."

Arthur let go of my hand and sat himself up on the bed, resting his back against the headboard. He patted his lap, so I straddled him as he spoke, "I didn't do the things I did because I wanted to make changes. That night, when I killed those guys, I did it because they were awful and they deserved it. And honestly, I liked it. Loved it."

He ran his hands down my sides and rested them on my hips, pressing his fingertips into my skin as deeply as he could. This caused my core to rub ever so slightly against him and I felt him twitch beneath me. 

"That feeling of complete control. Knowing that their eyes were closing forever."

He took one of his hands to the base of my head, tangled his fingers in my hair, and slowly closed the distance between our lips as he continued to speak.

"Because of me. Because of what I did. Because I pulled the trigger."

**⚠️Okay, this is the start of the smut section. Skip on down if you don't want to read it. Nothing that is said in this section is particularly important to the overall story. I will note the ending.⚠️**

He kissed me softly and then immediately ran his tongue against my lips, seductively separating my top lip from my bottom lip. I left my mouth slightly agap, waiting to receive his tongue.

"And after that, people finally saw me."

He lapped his tongue against mine a couple of times before he gently nibbled my bottom lip and then gently pulled it as he pulled away.

"They are aware of my existence."

He licked and nibbled a trail down from my lips, to my jawline, and then to my neck. He would only disconnect his mouth from my skin just long enough to breathe out more words, but my mind was becoming fuzzy. His warm breath, ghosting over the trail of saliva he left on my neck, overwhelmed me with that pleasurable tingling sensation, which traveled down my back and warmed my core. I could no longer focus on what he was saying. 

"That's why I did what I did."

I suddenly felt the pressure of his fingertips against my hip and the base of my head lessen. Then his warm hands slid up my body, under my shirt. My skin slowly became exposed to the cold air of the room as he pulled my shirt up and over my head. He threw my shirt away and, since I wasn't wearing a bra, he immediately buried his face in my chest. I leaned my head back, giving him complete and open access to my breasts, and I rubbed my core against him. I felt his member harden against me. 

He moaned against my skin, "And, now, no one can stop me from doing what I want to do."

He gently bucked himself up against me.

"Not even you," he growled as he looked up at me and grabbed my chin, forcing me to look him in the eyes.

The sudden drop in the octave of his voice had a weird, exciting affect on me and I began to unbutton the shirt he was wearing. With every button I successfully unbuttoned, he bucked against me.

"Do you hear me?"

I nodded my head slightly, since he still had hold of my chin and I had to focus on what I was doing due to the fact that I was unable to look down and see what my hands were doing.

Without warning, he pulled my hands away from his shirt and quickly switched positions with me. I was now laying on my back and he was laying on top of me. However, he purposely made sure that our hips were no longer touching.

"Tell me that you heard me."

"Yes, Arthur, I heard you."

"No, baby, not Arthur. I want you to call me Joker."

I wasn't expecting this request. 

"Why would I do that? You're Arthur."

He shook a finger at me, which he then trailed down my body, touching and tickling the skin of my breast, my stomach, and my hipbone - until he made it to the sensitive area between my legs. He pressed his finger against my clothed folds and rubbed ever so gently. I let out a sinful moan as I moved myself against his finger - hungry for more friction. The tantalizing pleasure was already building inside of me, causing me to close my eyes and arch my back.

"Mhm, Arthur, that feels so good."

As soon as those words left my mouth, he pulled his hand away and the sweet pleasure was suddenly gone. I opened my eyes and whimpered to express my disappointment at him. 

"What did I say?"

I felt like crossing my arms and pouting; the last thing I wanted to do right now was talk, "I don't care what you said. I don't want to call you that. I don't know 'Joker'."

He placed one hand on my throat, "Yes you do. Joker has always been a part of me - a part of me that was kept under lock and key, but it's finally free. So, I want you to call me Joker. If you want this to continue, you have to." His hand slightly closed around my throat more and more with each word he said.

I tried to reach down and rub the outline of his member through his pants, trying to make him give up on the whole name thing and give in to his desires. I knew he wanted this. So, why wouldn't he just fuck me? However, he grabbed my hands and pinned them against the bed. 

"Arthur, please. Don't do this. Don't withhold from me. I need you."

"What did you say, love?" he asked between the kisses he placed under the lobe of my ear. 

He was obviously acting like he didn't hear me, but I repeated myself anyways. 

He looked at me with a smirk painted on his face, "I love hearing you beg. Keep begging, but call me Joker when you do it." 

He adjusted himself on the bed and I felt his member just barely rub against me. I bit my bottom lip and wondered if he did that on purpose, to give me a small taste of what my body was desperately begging for. I tried to buck myself up against him, but he adjusted himself again so that it was impossible fot me to make contact with him.

"I need you, Arthur. Please, please touch me."

He smiled, "You just have to do one small thing, love. Just do the one small thing and I will touch you in anyway you want."

The dominance that was radiating from him was astonishing. And that was it, I couldn't fight it anymore. I gave in. 

"Please, Joker, please touch me. I want you so bad." 

His smirk turned into a wide, devilish smile, "See? Was that so hard?"

He pressed his throbbing member against my now aching core and; honestly, I almost came undone right there. He released his hold on my hands and started working on on unbuttoning my pants with one hand. I frantically went back to work on unbottoning his shirt as I felt his member throb against me again. The last button was giving me a whole lot of problems, so I just pulled the shirt apart, causing the button the pop off. The 'pop' sound was, as if, exemplified by my desperation. It was so loud, I was convinced that Sean here it. 

I quickly moved my hands up to his shoulders and peeled the shirt off of him. He stopped what he was doing only long enough so he could pull his arms out of the sleeves. 

Then, he grabbed a fistful of my hair and hissed into my ear, "Take your pants off."

I quickly reached down and wiggled beneath him to work my pants down far enough so I could kick them off. As soon as I did this, he pushed aside my panties and greedily ran his index and middle fingers against my clit, causing my body shuddered at his touch - feeling that sensitive bundle of nerves light up inside me - and I grabbed onto his face to pull him closer so I could kiss him. 

Between kisses he spoke against my lips, "Already so wet, baby." His words were almost as pleasurable as his touch.

As his warm fingers began to play with my opening, I whimpered as I buried my face up into his neck, "N-no. I just want you inside me."

He teased me by slowly slipping his fingers inside me anyways, "Who do you want inside you?"

"You..."

He withdrew his hand from my body again and raised an eyebrow at me, "Who?"

I sighed in fustration, but I desperately needed this to move forward, "Joker. I want Joker inside of me."

He pulled his lips into a smile and pushed himself up so he was sitting up on his knees. He started undoing his pants, "Turn around. Get on your hands and knees, love."

I hurriedly obeyed him, loving the fact that he was giving me direction - telling me what he wanted from me. It was so different from how he was before. Maybe he was right. Maybe there was this piece of him that had been locked away. This piece held the majority of his assertiveness and self-confidence and, after all this that happened, he was finally able to tap into it. I loved how he was before, there was no question to that. However, I would be lying if I said this side of him wasn't deliciously alluring. 

As I waited, somewhat, patiently, I heard the jingling of his belt and the fabric of his pants rubbing against his legs. Then, I felt his weight adjust behind me, making the bed sink to one side and then the other. Finally, finally I felt him place his hands on either side of my ass and I instinctly pushed myself back against him. I moaned at the feeling of our skin-on-skin contact; his hard member throbbed against my folds. 

He slapped my ass and then positioned himself at my opening, "I wanna hear you beg for me again."

I turned my head as far as I could to look at him, biting my bottom lip, and pushed myself back against him, "P-please Joker, I want you so bad. It's all I can think about. Please fuck me."

Then, I got what I wanted. He slammed every inch of himself into me without any warning I yelled out and my eyes instantly watered. Without any chance to to adjust to him, it hurt. It honestly did, but then he pulled out, which gave me a wave of relief. But as quickly as the relief came, it disappeared when he slammed into me once again. However, the pain was slightly offset by a small feeling of pleasure. It happened a few more times before the pain completely subsided and my body warmed with that pleasurable, building pressure. 

He began to move in a steady rhythm as I mewed sounds of approval. His fingers were digging into my hips, his hard member squeezed tightly within my walls and my body twitched everytime he hit that sweet spot. It was all very overwhelming, but the thing that really pushed me over the edge was his persistent dirty talk as he did what he wanted with my body.

"God, love, you're so tight for me," he slid one hand from my ass to between my legs and started to rub his index and middle fingers in a circular motion against my clit as he continued to pound against me, "I love how you feel around me."

I breathed out a shaky reply, "You f-feel...so good...ins-side...me..."

He moved his hand again, this time from between my legs to my mouth, and he hooked his fingers at the corner of my mouth, "Suck, baby," and I obeyed, "I love being in control, but most of all, I love controlling you. I can do whatever I want with you, can't I?"

I unashamedly nodded my head in agreement. I mean, he had me calling him Joker - even though I was originally against it - and it took him hardly anytime at all to make me do it. He definitely had this new level of control over me, but it wasn't the same type of control that Todd had over me. It was completely different.

And I love it.

"You close, love?"

A "mmhmmm" was honestly all I could muster. I was on edge; I could only focus on the pleasant burning that I felt deep in my core.

He took hold of my hips with both hands and started thrusting a bit erractically. He growled out curses between his masculine moans, "Fuck, I'm so close, love. Say my name again - I want Sean to hear."

As if he couldn't already hear the things that were going on in this room.

"Oh, god, Joker. I'm go--- F-fuck! Cum inside me, Joker!"

And with that, he thrust into me and his body strained as rode out his wave of pleasure. I felt him twitch inside of me as my walls began to contract around him and I finally found my release as well. He continued to make small, gently thrusts inside me as we both rode out our pleasure together. Once our movements stilled, he slowly pulled himself out of me and I collasped on the bed. He leaned over to kiss me on the back and shoulders a few times before he layed down next to me. He ran his fingers down my back as we stared into each others eyes.

**⚠️Okay, this is the ending of the smut section. Everything below is safe to read.⚠️**

"Where did that come from?"

He chuckled, "I already told you, love. I'm...finally...completely...free."

I adjusted my body so I was laying on my side, ran one of my hands through his brown locks - which still had a faded green tint, "I know, but..."

A knocking at the bedroom door interrupted me, "I'm...sorry," I realized it was Sean's voice booming behind the door, "but there are sweeps happening in the building next door. We need to leave. Now!"

I looked at Arthur and then jumped up out of the bed to get dressed; Arthur started to get dressed as well, but he wasn't matching my urgency, "Come on, Arthur, we have to get out of here. What if they find us?"

He strugged, "If they find us, they'll get what they deserve. I can't go on living my life in fear anymore. I did that for far too much of my life already."

I scolded him, "Don't do that. You can't take on a whole SWAT team, Arthur."

"Don't tell me what I can't do," he growled at me.

Now there was a pounding at the door, "Come on, we really have to go!!"

I pulled at his arm, forcing him to stand and walk towards the door, "Please, let's just get out of here."

I was able to get him to the door, which I opened, and then I lead him out into the living room. When Sean came into my view, he was looking at the apartment door with his gun aimed directly at it. 

Sean quickly glanced at us, "They weren't supposed to make it to this building until later on tonight. My contact was wrong....or lied to me," he looked back at the door, "Fuck!"

"Should we hide somewhere?"

Sean shook his head, "Doubt we will find anywhere in this apartment that will effectively hide us from them. They will check every nook and cranney of this place.

I looked around frantically, until my eyes zoned in on the window, "If they are in the building...maybe we can jump out the window."

Sean raised an eyebrow, "We have a 50% chance of becomeing splatter art, jumping from the fourth story."

"It is the only option we have though," I looked at Arthur, "Please, Arthur, we need to do this. I know you're ready to face them, but I'm not. I'm scared. I don't want to think what will happen if they arrest you. They may even kill you."

Arthur looked at me, then Sean, then the door, and then back at me, "Okay, only because you are here. I don't want to risk them laying a finger on you. We need to escape....for now."

Sean let out an uneasy sigh, but he put his gun away and ran towards the window. Arthur and I came up behind him and waited for him to unlock the window. However, when he tried to open the window, it resisted. 

He pulled and strained a few more second before he investigated what was going on, "Shit, it is fucking painted shut."

He pulled out a knife and started cutting at the window. It was in the moment, I began to hear footsteps out in the hallway.

_Shit...shit...shit..._

Sean began to frantically hack at the window as Arthur reached down and pulled Sean's gun out of his holster and aimed it at the door. The door knob jiggled a couple of times and was immediately followed by a few loud kicks.

_Shit...they are going to kick the door down._

Then, the door cracked at the hinges and slammed down onto the floor. Arthur reacted by shooting the gun towards the now open doorway as a couple of smoke bombs were thrown into the room. There were additional gun shots. The air grew thick. It was hard to see. All three of us started coughing. 

And then everything went black.

**The End.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this story! I hope you liked it. 
> 
> If you are interested, the name of the sequel to this story is:
> 
> "I Forgot How to be Me"
> 
> Like I said, it is already started on Wattpad, but I will be making a copy for this site soon. I am only 5 chapters into it, so it is definitely still "in the works". 
> 
> Thank you all!!!


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